


And It All Seemed Harmless

by vigilantedr



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Date Rape Drug/Roofies, F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Mildly Dubious Consent, Past Rape/Non-con, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 22:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 65,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13040871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vigilantedr/pseuds/vigilantedr
Summary: After the events of Project Overlord, Shepard finds herself in Aethyta's bar coping with Liara's rejection and the horrific scenes that have just played out before her. When another asari takes a dangerous interest in the inebriated Shepard, Liara and Aethyta team up to help the Commander. Meanwhile, Jack and Miranda also deal with the aftermath of Overlord, and team up to find the Commander as well.(dubious consent because of a character being drugged, character is rescued before assault takes place)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2
> 
> Shepard is a renegade, but can exhibit paragon actions with those close to her. Please give me some commentary if you have any, I've never uploaded any of my Mass Effect stories before or any fanfiction for that matter, I'm a comic book writer, but finally got the courage to share this. I'm going to be working on this to keep me creatively fresh for my comics, should be quick updates as I edit my completed version.

She hadn't been in a place like this in a while, but I guess the same could be said for her state of mind as well. The bar was dimly lit, an atmosphere she felt strangely comfortable in, and filled with so many people that no one even noticed the dead Spectre making her way to a seat at the end of the bar. Though a few glances stayed on her for a few moments, scrutinizing her because "I know that girl from somewhere," the alcohol flowing through the room was extremely helpful in suppressing memory of the hero of the Citadel, and the only glances that stayed too long were just appreciating her attractiveness. She sat down in front of the bartender, arms crossed and a scowl set on her face to keep away all that could be unfortunate enough to try and offer to buy her a drink at the moment. She could buy her own fucking drink and she intended to get one.  _Hell at least one._

When was the last time she had needed a drink like this? The first example to come to mind had been two years ago, when Udina and the Council had grounded the Normandy, ignoring her dire warnings that the entire fate of the galaxy hung in the balance if those assholes wouldn't let her board her own fucking ship and go get him. No amount of threatening and arguing had worked, and she had boarded the Normandy severely needing a drink, but even her own locker that could supply that drink wouldn't open due to the grounding. She remembered swearing at it, even taking a swing at it before she had given up, her hand bleeding and head burning. At that moment, she remembered again how much she hated being the Commander. She was a soldier, good at ending lives and keeping her own, but she had never been enough to be a Commander. Not enough to make the Council listen, not enough to get her ship moving, and not enough to save Kaidan.

 _Kaidan._  The events on Virmire were still fresh in her memory, and with every replay, she had hated herself a bit more. If she had just been a little bit faster... if she hadn't left him with the bomb... if she hadn't abandoned him and flown away…. safe while he made the sacrifice she should've made… She remembered being overwhelmed, punished by her own thoughts and badly needing a drink just to forget all that had happened and what could happen… But she hadn't gotten one that day. Because Liara had found her.

 _Liara._  She shook her head violently, ignoring the amused look of the bartender before her. Liara had always made her feel like more, like one of those lucky soldiers that had someone or something to come home to when their job was done. Shepard had never pictured herself being so lucky, but Liara had given her hope for something other than dying on a battlefield someday, doing her job until she couldn't anymore. She could see herself having a family with Liara, being somebody other than the killing machine she had defined herself as since she was a teenager. Listening to her stories of Akuze and her time on Earth, the asari had never judged Shepard or seen her as the murderer Shepard felt to be, she saw her as more.  _And I fucking believed her. What a mistake._

Shepard sighed. She had to stop thinking about Liara. The asari had made it very clear a few weeks ago that she was no longer in love with the Spectre. She wouldn't be there this time. She wasn't there today...

_"The square root of 906.01 equals 30.1, and it all seemed harmless."_

Shepard had done everything. Tried everything.  _I even hacked those fucking consoles for her_  she thought ruefully. In Liara's eyes, she had been demoted to a Spectre status that she could use, nothing more.

_Dammit. I hate her for kissing me, for making me believe when I first saw her that things were going to be okay for the first time since I died. She probably just did that so I would stick around and run her errands. Fuck, I thought she cared more. But apparently she hadn't._

Since their reunitement, she had been cold and impersonal with her former lover, only ever speaking to her when she needed something in her all-important quest to murder the Shadow Broker. Shepard hated it. Hated that she would run Liara's errands even when the asari treated her like nothing more than hired help. But despite all this, she had held out hope to the end that Liara would talk to her and tell her everything. Why she was after the broker, what she had done in the last two years, and why she wouldn't even acknowledge that the woman before her had once shared her bed and not just information on the Broker.

After Nyxeris had been killed, the Spectre had hoped Liara would at least acknowledge their relationship, but she hadn't and even after the soldier had pushed, she had just been met with the same lame excuse that she "Didn't want to drag the Commander into her politics."

In retrospect, hearing that again had probably been what had made Shepard lose it, slamming her fists on the desk and stepping forward with a fury few had ever been so unfortunate to see. Both Jacob and Miranda, her current squad, had been a bit taken aback by the action and both had started to try and calm the Spectre down but Shepard would have none of it. She cut them off, looking into Liara's eyes and asking a question she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to.

_"Are you done?"_

_"What?"_

_"Are you done using me so I can go?"_

_"Shepard. I was not using you."_

_"Oh really? Okay then, so did you just fucking forget everything that happened between us or have you always treated me this way and I've just been too stupid to notice."_

_"Shepard that's not..."_

_"Fair?" growled the Spectre, not allowing the asari to continue. "None of this fair. I fucking died and instead of being happy to see me back, you've treated me like a recovered resource. Like a piece of trash you can use and throw away after I've done all the hacking you can't do. So tell me Information Broker T'Soni, are you done?"_

_Liara had stepped forward over her desk, meeting Shepard's eyes in a confident action Shepard wasn't entirely used to from her. She had never been able to intimidate Liara, but at the moment, Liara was intimidating her a bit._

_"This is hardly the time to have this conversation Shepard. Should I remind you we are not alone? Or do you need reminding that besides the Cerberus personnel in the room, Illium is hardly a place of privacy." she whispered harshly._

_"I don't care about privacy, I care about you. If we can't have this talk in private on Illium and you won't leave, then what the fuck am I supposed to do? I'd rather have someone hear this talk than not have it."_

_Liara's confidence lessened and it was obvious she had no excuse to dispute the Spectre's last point, which gave Shepard the confidence to keep going after the asari's lame argument._

_"Why the fuck do you even need privacy T'Soni? You ashamed of what you did? Ashamed of what we were?"_

_"Shepard. That is over the line, you know I wouldn't..."_

_"Wouldn't what? Wouldn't want somebody to know that you fucked me?"_

_"Shepard!"_

_Shepard had glared at her, the anger subsiding for a few tense moments of neither of them knowing what to say, until Jacob broke the silence._

_"Um, Commander. Would you, you know, like a moment? In private..."_

_Shepard stood up, taking a step back from the asari's desk and crossing her arms defensively. She had completely forgotten they had been in the room. Not that she cared of course, she didn't care who knew that she had slept with Liara. She had bigger problems. So, taking a a deep breath to still herself, she had looked into the asari's eyes one last time, praying she would be able to hold it together no matter what she said._

_"Would it matter?" She said softly, the implications of the statement effectively digging Shepard's grave. Liara had shaken her head, answering everything for the Commander in a simple gesture. And then there had been nothing to do but leave. Her squad trailing behind her in silence._

They had left Illium after that. Shepard had already recruited her Justicar and Assassin, she had no reason to stay. The Commander had a job to do, and that's exactly what she did. Emotionless as a mech, she just did her job. She no longer allowed herself to get caught up in impossible hopeless fantasies involving a certain asari anymore, and the only consolation she had at the end of the day, when all of it caught up with her, was that she was doing what was right for the galaxy. Making it safer for humanity. Making it safer for that asari she couldn't think about.

Or at least, that's what she had been able to tell herself. In even the toughest decisions, the end would always justify the means if that end meant a safer galaxy for her love. If the end meant a better galaxy for anyone. But Shepard had a limit as to what could be sacrificed under the label of the means, Cerburus didn't. And today, she had come face to face with her own definition of way too far, and Cerberus' definition of a necessary sacrifice. Seeing Daniel... meeting Archer... the man so fearful of the Illusive man, that he would sacrifice the happiness of his own brother for success...she honestly couldn't believe that any project the Illusive Man's cigarette had dripped on had even a fiber of righteousness in it. Not Overlord, not Pragia, not even her own life...

"You gonna order or just stare at the kiosk kid?" The bartender's gruff voice dragged Shepard from her thoughts, and she looked threateningly at the purplish asari before her. The asari only continued. "I've never seen someone look at something besides a stripper's rack that intensely before, you must be thinking about something else. Or at least I hope." she drawled with a chuckled.

Shepard's only response was a continued glare.

"Oh stop trying to look threatening, a few minutes ago you looked like you were on the verge of breaking down. Just trying to lighten the mood kid. Lemme guess, your boyfriend cheat on you?"

Shepard grimaced. She hadn't even considered that there might be someone else, but then again, two years was a long time...

"Not a boyfriend and I just want a drink." She finally said after desperately trying to get the thought of Liara with anybody else out of her mind for a few seconds.

"So a girlfriend eh? Heard that's uncommon among your species. Good for you, girls are a much better fuck."

"I didn't say it had to do with anybody. I just want a fucking drink."

"Fine, have it your way. What'll it be kid?"

"Surprise me." She responded flatly. She didn't care, she just wanted alcohol. The cost or taste was not important.

"I have something that'll really knock you on your ass if you want it. Doesn't have a name but it's from the Traverse. Rumor is a group of specifically-adapted Vorcha make it, only trouble is you don't truly know what those fuckers put in it."

"Just make it."

Aethyta was silent as she made the drink, and Shepard said a silent prayer of thanks to whatever unseen force had been so kind as to finally shut her up, but the second the drink was before her, her luck ran out.

"Well, seems like you're having a rough night kid and drinking's great and all, but if you want a cheaper way to forget whatever the fuck is going on with your head, go get laid."

Shepard nearly choked on her drink, but the asari didn't seem to notice.

"Lemme tell you, I can read everyone in this bar. Been doing it long enough, and there are more than a few people interested in getting your pants tonight. If you want to go down that road of course. I'm not offering it tonight though. Just cleaned the bar."

"Pass."

"Hear me out, a few of them are surprisingly attractive."

"Still pass."

"Like that asari over there, she's been eying you since you came in."

"You mean that stripper?!" Shepard exclaimed, her eyes wide at the mere suggestion.

"Don't knock em kid, strippers are some of the best fucks around. Just look at her ass, and that rack. I bet she would even dance for you... well, if you played your cards right."

"No."

"All right all right, how about those marines over there? They've been trying to decide who has the right to go after you for almost five minutes. If you hurry, you could have your pick. If it was my choice, I would go after the one on the far left. He's got the biggest hands and I'm pretty sure you humans have a saying on what that means..."

Shepard's stomach turned. She hadn't exactly turned down a man's company before, but that did not mean she was interested in sharing that company again. She had changed a lot since, and she was pretty sure Liara had ruined her for all others. She downed her drink quickly at the thought of Liara, the alcohol helping to numb herself to the thought.

"I'm good."

"Fine, fine I get it. Just keep it in mind kid. Might be a healthier alternative to wrecking your liver in one night. Humans usually can only drink a little more than one of those..."

"Well let's see what a little more means in my case shall we?" She growled irritably.

Aethyta smiled and began making another.

"I like your attitude kid, just don't throw up on my bar."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (WARNING: potential trigger warning for inappropriate advances. It will not turn into an assault, but someone inappropriately trying to make a move on a drunk person is potentially triggering so I wanted to make sure everyone was aware.)

_Fuck, how many of these have I had?_

Shepard growled as she tried desperately to focus on the drink in front of her.

_Or was it three drinks?_

Every time she turned her head, the drinks before her multiplied.

_Fuck, what the fuck was even in this drink_?

_Doesn't matter_  she chastised herself quickly. Thinking too much was the problem at the moment, and she was obviously still thinking.

_The only thing that matters at the moment is that this fucking glass is empty._

"Hey." She slurred at the bartender, though the word sounded less than English at the moment.

_What had her name been?_

The two had talked for quite some time when the spectre had come in, but to be honest the soldier remembered less than half of what was said. The gruff asari turned her head, an eyebrow raised as she stared with amusement at the positively wasted soldier. She began to open her mouth to release what was in no doubt, a snide comment before another asari filled the spectre's vision. She shook her head a bit, trying to affirm that it was in fact an asari and not a moving purple drink, but the asari spoke before she had a chance to try and force her inebriated brain to make sense of the image before her.

"Why hello there, Commander Shepard is it?"

Shepard cleared her throat and tried to still her voice before answering. She had definitely had enough of Illium business people trying to take advantage of her dead spectre status, this bitch being no exception.

"Who wants to know?"

"Nobody of importance my sweet Commander." Purred the asari as she leaned in to whisper in the soldier's ear, her hands sliding over the spectre's shoulders and turning her so that the two women were facing each other.

The contact served to sober the Commander a bit, and she swallowed nervously. This woman did not want her for her spectre status...

"Are you here alone Commander?"

Shepard nodded. The level of alcohol in her system preventing her from forming too many coherent thoughts, much less words.

"Well, I can fix that. The back room is empty and you and I, well, we could go have some drinks and relax a bit. Talk and...see where things go. I can pay for our little stay."

Shepard knew this was a bad idea. The asari obviously was interested in doing much more than talking, but then again, she had been nearly falling off this bar stool for almost an hour and a couch sounded fantastic. The asari would also probably buy her drinks for a while as well, which would save her money since she would inevitably keep drinking for a least a bit longer. Aw what the hell, she was more than capable of fending off unwanted advances anyways, and even after a couple more drinks, she knew she would be able to keep herself from having sex with the asari. She hadn't made a drunken mistake like that since her time on Earth.

"All right let's go."

The asari smiled, giving the soldier a smoldering look as she stumbled to her feet. "I'll meet you there in a second, let me get our drinks. Want the same?" she said motioning to the empty glass the soldier had been trying to remedy when she had arrived. Shepard nodded. She didn't know the name of the drink so if the asari did, she was the fucking greatest person in the bar as far as she was concerned. She stumbled towards the back room, leaving the asari speaking with the bartender.

As Aethyta made the drinks, she scrutinized the asari. Something didn't sit right with her about this one. The woman hadn't taken her eyes off of the human's ass as she had stumbled to the room, and she worried the soldier was in a bit over her head.

"Hey," she said as she handed set the drinks on the counter, finally drawing the asari's attention. "Be careful with her okay? She's had a bad night and a lot to drink. Don't do anything she might regret in the morning, the kid's got it rough enough."

"She's a grown woman, I think she can take care of herself. And trust me, I wouldn't dream of doing anything she would regret. Or wouldn't enjoy." she said suggestively, complete with a smug grin.

"Right...well shit. I think I made your friend the wrong drink, you wanted the mystery drink right?"

The asari nodded disdainfully, obviously annoyed with her bartender keeping her from her fun for longer than expected.

"Don't get all bitchy."

The asari raised an eyebrow though Aethyta ignored her. This asari was definitely was not the kind of woman that should be alone with that human. The human was a little stupid and aggressive, but she liked her and knew the kid had definitely been opposed to a hook up with someone she didn't know at the beginning of the night. That likely hadn't changed.

"Since I messed up, how about I bring these drinks to you guys? I'll bring em in a couple of minutes and you can go relax."

"Fine." said the asari, brightening up a bit as if she had been the one to make Aethyta deliver them the drinks herself before handing her a credit chit and striding off towards the back. Aethyta scowled at her as she left and dumped the spectre's drink in the sink behind her before starting to craft a very different one. Hopefully she wouldn't notice the difference...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW: Same trigger warning as Chapter 2, though it will NOT lead to an assault, I do know someone inappropriately hitting on someone inebriated can be triggering to some individuals and I would like to protect them with warning.)

"Are you alright Dr. T'Soni?"

"Hmmm?" Liara was yanked out of her own thoughts by the voice of the Turian before her. The Illium police officer had been typing away on his omni-tool moments ago, and she hadn't even noticed he had been speaking to her while he did.

"I was just checking to see if you are alright ma'am. You've sort of been going in and out while I've been talking to you..."

Liara cringed inwardly, she had been hoping her disinterest in the man's interview hadn't been too obvious. She had so many other things to worry about in her search for the Shadow Broker, and an interview on what she knew about the whereabouts of her missing assistant was certainly not a priority. But, it was still in accordance with her reputation to be attentive.

"Well, officer, as you can imagine, I am a very busy woman. It shouldn't come as a surprise to you that I have a lot on my mind, and would like to finish this interview as expeditiously as possible."

The officer nodded and let the subject drop out of respect, though the asari could tell he hadn't bought a word of it.

"Fair enough. I think I've gotten a pretty good statement from you on all you know about the whereabouts of one Nyxeris."He said, grossly mispronouncing her former assistant's name.

Liara tried to hide her annoyment. The policeman had obviously not received an impressive education, and his interest in the case seemed forced at best. He was just wasting her time. But if this was the best the Illium police force had to investigate her assistant's mysterious disappearance, then she would have a lot less clean-up work to do to disguise her crime than she had thought.

"Thank for your time Doctor, if you find anything else, feel free to contact me. I'll forward my contact information to your office later."

"Farewell." Liara said dismissedly as she was finally able to turn her attention to the blinking monitor on her desk. Her display was littered with alerts, her various informants all vying for attention and funds in exchange for their information. She scanned them quickly. None were the message she had been waiting for regarding the Shadow Broker's various connections on Illium, but a particular message in the corner of her screen caught her eye.

**Subject: COMMANDER SHEPARD**

Her heart stopped just seeing the name. Admittedly, she both loved and hated to get news about Shepard. Love being because any news meant her love was still alive, and hate being because any news about Shepard was rarely good news. The soldier was always putting herself in danger, and though it was a bit morbid, Liara always read any message concerning Shepard for fear it would be the message alerting her that soldier was once again gone. In truth, she didn't know what she would do if she ever received that message. Even though she had lived through Shepard's death once, she wasn't positive she could again. Even with the separation and intense precautions she had taken to keep herself from getting hurt this time, the soldier invaded her thoughts more than was strictly healthy. And she never had the heart to push her out of her mind. Not after she had already pushed her out of her life...

Liara immediately banished the memories of their last meeting as they surfaced. What was done was done, no matter how much time she spent regretting it, she had been the one to make Shepard go. Shepard wouldn't give up her suicide mission for her and Liara was not about to go through it all again when her love finally made it to the Collector base. If anybody could survive it was Shepard...but Shepard was not invincible. Shepard had died.

It was silly, holding a grudge for something the Commander had had no control over, but there were moments she absolutely hated the Commander for dying. For leaving her, for making her get in that escape pod without her. The memory of those fatal few minutes had haunted the young asari for two years, tainting her dreams and breaking her over and over again. Those few minutes had changed her over the past two years, changed her into someone she wasn't exactly proud to be. And though she knew it was unreasonable, she blamed Shepard for that change. Because if she hadn't left...  _Goddess, who would she be today?_

Liara sighed. She had more than enough reasons to wish that the Spectre had never died. If she hadn't, Liara would have been able to continue travelling on the Normandy two years ago, rather than coming to Illium to make a living as an information broker. If she hadn't, her bitter feud with the Shadow Broker wouldn't exist and Feron wouldn't have been captured and most likely killed by the devious Broker. But to Liara's dismay, she knew the biggest reason was still, and would always be, that she loved Shepard, and had never been, maybe would never be, strong enough to lose her. She cursed silently, blaming the Goddess, blaming the whole galaxy for the unfair situation she was currently in, and had been in for years: in love with a doomed soldier. A human no less.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the message, fighting down her fear that she had an unhealthy obsession with Shepard with reminders that she was still Shepard's friend. She had a duty to look out for her just like she would Garrus or Tali.

She sighed in relief. Her agent wasn't asking for many credits for the information, which meant it likely wasn't too important.  _Shepard was okay then_. She allowed the relief to wash over her and purchased the information regardless. Even if it was unimportant, it still concerned Shepard. Several long minutes passed before a log of ships docked in the Illium docking bay appeared on her screen, fresh from her agent. She scrolled through it quickly, eyes darting through the information before she saw a log for the Normandy SR-2. It had arrived at 18:02 hours, and was still currently docked.

Her heart started pounding in her chest, and she allowed herself to fantasize for a moment that Shepard was here to see her. That she would open the doors of her office to see her love clad in her N7 armor and a smirk that never failed to weaken her knees. She smiled at the thought for a moment before the memory of the last time Shepard had been in her office finally seeped into her mind.

_"Wouldn't what? Wouldn't want somebody to know that you fucked me?"_

_"Shepard!"_

She cringed at the memory of the Spectre's words. The mere idea that Shepard would think that she was ashamed of what they had been broke her heart. She loved the Spectre, she wouldn't have minded telling the whole galaxy, but things were different now. She was different. But when Shepard had walked out of her office that day, for what was most likely the last time, she was the shy young scientist from Thessia all over again. A heartbroken maiden crying over her love for an entire day…

She shook herself out of her reverie and began to assess the situation. Shepard had already recruited the two team members from her dossiers that were located on Illium, but Shepard would not have flown all the way to Illium had she not had a purpose.  _A purpose that wasn't her._

Another alert lit up her screen. She moved to dismiss it before she noticed that it was also labeled with the name of her love.

**Subject: Overlord: Cerberus: possible Spectre Shepard involvement**

She clicked on it quickly and was dismayed to see that this piece of information was very expensive.  _Something bad then._  Though the message only alluded to the possibility that Shepard had been involved, she knew the Spectre well enough not to expect anything other than full involvement in the situation. Shepard had most likely been there, but not spotted enough. She forwarded the credits, ignoring the large total. She knew she would spend every penny she had if it meant keeping Shepard safe. She cringed at that knowledge. That was certainly not something a person trying to get over their former love should be thinking.

The information arrived quickly. It was a Cerberus mission report that had no mention of Shepard, but her agent had included a note that any mentioned "Cerberus personnel" was rumored to have been the Commander. She sighed in annoyance.  _So Cerberus labelled her as just another piece of personnel._  She still hated it that Cerberus acted as if Shepard was just another tool. Another weapon bought and paid for.  _And I condemned Shepard to that life._

**From: Cerberus Command**

**Project Overlord concerning the geth was shut down by Cerberus Personnel earlier today. The interfaced Virtual Intelligence had gone rogue, and instead of salvaging progress, ground Cerberus Personnel chose to eliminate the project. This will set advances in Geth technology back several years. Chief Scientist Dr. Gavin Archer is to report to the Illusive Man after cleanup of the Atlas facility.**

**Transaction Summary:**

**Grissom Academy - contacted**

**Casualties:**

**-All but Chief Scientist Archer and the test subject**

Liara's stomach churned at the summary. She hated Cerberus' clear apathy when it came to the loss of lives. In a research facility, there had likely been hundreds of scientist working.  _To lose all but two...oh goddess Shepard._

Her love was seen as a renegade. A stone soldier that never allowed her heart to get in the way of her duty. But when Liara had joined with Shepard, had been with Shepard, she had felt the sheer compassion and guilt the soldier harbored every day. She blamed herself for every life lost and the faces of those she couldn't save screamed at her in her dreams. If Shepard had walked into a facility with hundreds already dead, she likely wouldn't be sleeping very well for quite some time. She knew the mind of her love, she would be thinking of all the ways she could've saved them for days, wishing she had gotten there sooner, wishing she was more than she was. Liara sighed, overwhelmed with an urge to go to Shepard and make sure she was all right. Hold the soldier like she used to, sending comfort and acceptance through the meld. That was the only way she had been able to stop her Commander's nightmares about Akuze, the only way she kept the Commander's mind off the alcohol she kept stashed below her bed. She wasn't sure if Shepard ever even knew she was aware of its presence below them when she slept, but there were no secrets in the meld, and she didn't blame her love for turning to alcohol sometimes. She wasn't sure she wouldn't be able to had she lived even a fraction of Shepard's life.

Self-hatred stabbed her when she realized it was possible for her to go to the Spectre and take care of her like she used to right now, and yet she wouldn't. She was on Illium, and though Liara still didn't understand why the Spectre was here, she was here nonetheless.  _And she wouldn't be going to help her._

Their relationship was over. Shepard would most likely be uninterested in seeing her and even if she agreed to be around her, a meld was far too personal a thing to share with someone you didn't trust. Tears welled up in her eyes and she cursed herself for having the nerve to feel so helpless when her position was entirely self-induced. She clapped her hand over her mouth and sobbed quietly, hating herself for being in distress when Shepard was the one who was probably hurting.

Taking a deep breath, she returned her attention to her monitor and resolved to find some way to help Shepard regardless, even if Shepard wouldn't know who was helping her. It was unlikely Shepard would undertake another mission tonight, so she was either on the Normandy, or exploring Illium.  _Or worse a bar._  She pushed the thought out of her head, silently praying that Shepard wouldn't return to her alcohol-dependent ways as she pulled up the feeds from Illium security cameras around where the Normandy was docked. After a few minutes of fast-forwarding, her love sauntered out of the ship alone, wearing a plain Cerberus uniform that curiously, had no Cerberus logos attached. In one glance, Liara could immediately tell just how bad her Spectre was hurting. The soldier's commanding demeanor was lost, replaced by a sagging shoulders and a quick walk to escape notice. She didn't even look up, her red hair protecting all facial expression that would likely give away her strong emotions. Pain washed over Liara's heart at the sight. She had always hated to see her love broken. The woman who gave everything to help others always seemed to never get any help herself. A tiny bit of her was glad she couldn't see the Spectre's face, she wasn't sure she could handle it.

After sifting through cameras and recreating Shepard's path, Liara's heart sank when she realized it ended at Eternity. Shepard wasted no time in crossing the room to where the bartender stood, and Liara frowned when she saw the drink Shepard selected.  _Oh goddess Shepard be careful. Stop it Liara, she's a grown woman. She commands a ship, I think she can remember not to go overboard drinking._  Shepard and the bartender Liara recognized as Matriarch Aethyta, spoke quietly as the Spectre drank. Liara strained to hear them, but the bar was too loud for any reliable audio feeds. She gave up and just watched the Spectre, amazed once again at the mostly brave face the soldier bared to the Matriarch. Liara surveyed Shepard, it didn't look like she was carrying a weapon. She sighed, knowing that if she and Shepard had still been together, she would've chastised her for doing so. Shepard had quite the knack at getting shot at, the least she could do would be to stay prepared so she could shoot back.

At least, she had to admit the bar didn't look too dangerous. Cameras were everywhere so it was definitely much safer than a seedy bar in the Wards or Omega, and most of the patrons seemed saintly in comparison to the crude personalities Liara had met while drinking at Flux with Shepard and Garrus. In the corner, a bachelor party involving a human, turian, and salarian was taking place, and Liara was relieved to see none of them had any interest in Shepard.

However, on the other side of the room, a table full of Alliance marines was toasting something, but their glances kept straying to rest on Shepard.  _Marines are harmless_  she thought pointedly,  _the Alliance practically worships Shepard and they're probably just starstruck_. She prayed silently that none of them would have more than a professional interest in Shepard before one of them disappointed her by making an obscene gesture towards Shepard while speaking with his friend.

Liara tried to ignore the anger that coursed through her at the soldiers, the idea of warping all of them into another galaxy somewhat appealing, but she knew it wasn't her place to be possessive anymore. Shepard could do whatever she pleased, even if Liara knew she wouldn't even be able to stand watching Shepard touch someone else. She blinked back tears, fear seizing her heart with the thought that Shepard actually could go home with one of them, before the bartender directed Shepard's attention to them, which was rewarded with a look of disgust. Liara breathed a sigh of relief.  _At the very least Shepard is not interested in one of them._

As Liara began to survey the bar, she noticed a great deal of the patrons were interested in Shepard. Even the asari "entertainment" had taken notice to the attractive woman sitting alone at the bar. Jealousy surged through Liara, and before she could control herself, her biotics surged, knocking back nearly everything in her office. She knew some of the other offices would complain, but she hardly noticed. She skipped through the video, rushing to the most current feeds to avoid angering herself unnecessarily at the sight of the nearly the entire bar ogling her love.

She couldn't keep track of how much Shepard had drank by the time an asari approached her, but if the bottles along the bar were any indication, it was way too much. As the asari stepped close to the human, pure hatred surged through Liara.  _That asari has been hanging around the bar with an eye on Shepard all night, and she chooses to approach her after she is thoroughly inebriated?_ Liara raved in her head disgustedly. She turned the audio up, trying her hardest to hear through all the commotion anything the other asari might be saying to the Commander, but she only caught bits and pieces. The bit she did hear however, made her sick. The asari had definitely said something about a "back room" and to her complete horror, Shepard was agreeing.

As Shepard stood and stumbled to the back room, and Liara felt her eyes well up with tears.  _Oh goddess, please don't Shepard. Goddess no._ The asari hadn't even bothered to help Shepard to the room and Liara wanted nothing more but to go down there and shatter her skull with that shotgun Wrex had given her so long ago. The asari exchanged a few words with the bartender, and Liara felt a wave of uneasiness creep over her when the bartender dumped the drink she had made for Shepard and started making another one. One that definitely didn't look like what Shepard had been drinking.  _Bitch!_  Liara growled and pushed her desk to the floor as she stood, pacing back and forth and in her office.

 _Shepard was a grown woman, if she wanted to have sex with that asari whore, that was purely her choice. But, Shepard was obviously far too intoxicated to make a choice like that for herself and there's something off about her drink. That bitch of a bartender probably roofied her_  she thought with pure malice. Making up her mind in a matter of seconds, Liara grabbed her pistol and rushed out of her office, severely hoping that she hadn't noticed what was going on too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW: roofies, predatory behavior. Short chapter, sorry!)

Aethyta walked into the back room to check on the two patrons. She had a bad feeling about the asari she was letting the kid be with alone with, and she intended on keeping situation in hand somewhat.  _At least for the kid's sake. No way I'm letting that skank of an asari try and pull a fast one over on her._

She strode in to see Shepard on her back, the asari straddling her and running her hands over her firm abdomen, whispering something the Matriarch definitely did not want to hear.

"Ahem."

The asari turned slowly, removing her hands from Shepard and stepping off over her languidly, one leg at a time.

"Isn't this room supposed to be Do Not Disturb?"

"Calm yourself bitch-tits. I just wanted to see if the two of you needed any more drinks. And hey, she doesn't look okay." Said Aethyta turning her attention to Shepard.

The soldier had paled noticeably and her breathing had slowed to a dangerous pace. Even from the door, Aethyta could tell by the shaky motions of the soldier's chest, that breathing was not coming easily. Aethyta pushed the asari out of the way harshly and knelt by the Spectre, grabbing her wrist to check her pulse.

"She's cold as fuck and she barely has a pulse. What the fuck did you do to her?"

The asari raised an eyebrow and stepped forward menacingly.

"You're the one serving the drinks Matriarch." she spit sarcastically, "She has all the tell-tale signs of alcohol poisoning. You just failed to cut her off."

"I did cut her off you bitch." Aethyta pushed past her and grabbed Shepard's drink, which was definitely not the same color as it had been when she had delivered it. That bitch.

"This was water. I gave her water with dye in it! You put something in this! Fuck she looks horrible, you know people die from alcohol poisoning and overdoses like this! But instead of taking her to a hospital, you kept trying to fuck her!"

The other asari glared back at Aethyta, but before she could open her mouth to spout some bullshit excuse Aethyta wouldn't want to hear, the Matriarch seized the asari by the throat and slammed her into the wall. The other asari barely had a moment to react before a biotic shockwave rippled through her body, shattering several bones. Aethyta smiled, satisfied with the justice she had enacted on the asari before stepping back and letting her drop to the floor. She took a moment to appreciate the sight before concern for the spectre took over her, and she ran to kneel by the laid out human, turning her body to protect her from choking if she were to vomit.

"Kid." Said Aethyta as she shook Shepard gently.

"Hey kid wake up."

When the soldier didn't answer, Aethyta sat back on her haunches and rubbed her forehead. Her stomach sank as she considered the possible consequences of her earlier decision of leaving the Spectre with the asari.  _Dammit, why the fuck did I let this happen? The kid was in a bad place, I should've just taken her home. Got someone to cover my shift and got the fucking savior of the Citadel at least back to her ship. She's obviously suffering from some severe alcohol poisoning and will need some serious medical attention if she didn't wake up soon._

She was about to curse when a scream from the doorway of the small room caught her full attention. It was her daughter.


	5. Chapter 5

Liara didn't even know when she started crying, but tears were streaming down her cheeks by the time she reached the Spectre's side.  _Oh goddess Shepard, please be okay_  she begged silently as she grabbed the Spectre's hands, holding onto her love for dear life. She hadn't even noticed Aethyta's presence until she looked up and saw the other asari standing with an amused expression on her face a few feet away from the Spectre.

"What happened?" She sniffled, her voice breaking, as her red eyes met Aethyta's.

Aethyta found herself amused by the new development, that her daughter was obviously involved with this renegade spectre, but all amusement faded when she met Liara's concerned eyes. She had met Liara a handful of times, for small periods of time, and yet she had always been impressed with the asari's calm head and diplomatic demeanor. Looking into her eyes now, all she saw was panic and unbridled fear. This shit was serious.

"Alcohol overdose. She drank a shit-ton and then this bitch roofied her."

Liara's eyes flashed with concern and then her expression steeled to one of pure anger. She leaped up and took a swing at Aethyta, which the asari dodged, catching her wrist.

"Liar!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down kid. Why the fuck are you trying to hit me?"

Liara was absolutely seething. Though Aethyta still held her by the wrist, it was obvious she wasn't done fighting.

"You bitch! I'm an information-broker. I have access to the cameras in here. I saw you give Shepard a different drink than the one she ordered!" Liara screamed as she attempted to lash out with her free hand, biotics swirling.

Aethyta calmly caught her other hand and used her own biotics to stifle Liara's, her grip securing the smaller asari so that she wouldn't lash out again.

"Word of advice kid, don't try your biotics on a Matriarch." said Aethyta harshly as Liara continued to struggle against her. "And listen up. I was trying to protect your little Cerberus friend here. I was cutting her off. She was getting real fucking drunk so I gave her some flavored nutrient water to try and sober her up. I wouldn't ever fucking dare and roofie somebody! Now focus, I'm not the issue here sweetheart, the issue is your friend overdosed!"

Liara looked up at Aethyta, distrust still evident in her eyes but at the very least she had stopped trying to attack her. Pain and guilt were also evident in her face, and for a moment, Aethyta regretted being so harsh. She released Liara gently and placed her hands on her shoulders, looking deep into her sapphire eyes.

"Listen to me. She's going to be okay all right? I know what to do. I see this sort of shit all the time. I am a bartender after all."

Liara nodded and blinked away tears as she looked back at Shepard. The spectre still hadn't moved.

"Where is she?" Liara's voice was so quiet Aethyta nearly didn't hear it.

"What?"

" . who did this to her." Liara snarled, her voice shaking with the absolute anger that was coursing through her.

Aethyta took a deep breath. As much as she wanted to unleash the full blood rage of her daughter on the asari that lay crumpled in the corner, that wasn't important right now.

"Later. She won't be getting away. We need to get your friend some help. Now. Help me carry her to the bathroom."

Liara nodded, and raced to Shepard's side, eager to do everything possible to help the Spectre though she was obviously still shaken. Internally, she was grateful Aethyta was giving the orders. There was no way she would be able to keep a clear head when Shepard was like this. She knelt next to Shepard and slung her arm under one of Shepard's, supporting her left side as Aethyta moved to support her right.

As Liara got closer to Shepard, her tears began to soak her face as she saw the spectre's condition close-up. Shepard usually looked so peaceful asleep, but even unconscious, the spectre couldn't seem to find peace. Her face was pale as if she had seen a ghost, and her features were tense as if she had just been punched in the gut. Dark bags underneath her eyes were displayed prominently by the unhealthy hue of her skin, and her usually vibrant hair looked more like the color of blood than the fire it usually portrayed.

"Oh Shepard." Liara whispered, her voice barely more than a breath. The bags under her love's eyes definitely hadn't come from an alcohol overdose. She hadn't been doing well. And it had come to this.  _Goddess, what did I do? I could've prevented this, I could've kept her safe. She sleeps when she's with me. She wouldn't have come drinking tonight had it not been for me..._

Liara leaned in and kissed Shepard's temple softly, choking out a small "I'm sorry" over the other woman's skin. If Aethyta noticed the gesture, she didn't acknowledge it and instead began to lead them both out of the room towards the bathrooms.

"Brush her hair over her face. Don't want "The Hero of the Citadel's" drunk ass face on the cover of every tabloid this side of the galaxy."

Liara obeyed and gently brushed Shepard's hair over her features as Aethyta continued.

"People need hope. Need to believe there are invincible people out there. Shepard's damn close to being that person but even heroes lose their mind sometimes. They don't need to know that though."

Liara nodded, though at the moment she didn't have a single concern for anyone else in the galaxy but Shepard. In fact, she hated them. Hated them for making her love be an impenetrable hero every day even though she was only a human. Shepard gave them everything, and yet they always wanted more. And goddess, she was so young. Too young to hate herself for the decisions she had made. Too young to have seen the horrors Shepard was accustomed to viewing.

Aethyta pushed open the bathroom door with her foot and barked out a warning that whoever didn't leave in the next ten seconds, would be eating their meals through a straw for the next six months if they could get their face back out of their ass to eat it. An asari and female human rushed out in nine, leaving the three alone in the room. Aethyta guided Liara to the counter and hoisted Shepard up, her arm supporting the Spectre's legs as she sat her beside a sink. Aethyta turned the sink on and began running cold water as Liara stepped closer to the spectre, hooking her arms around the woman's waist and holding her upright. Shepard crumpled against Liara, and her head fell into the crook between the asari's head and shoulder.

"Careful kid she might throw up."

"I don't care."

Aethyta chucked.

"I would."

Cupping some of the cold water in her hands, Aethyta looked up at Liara whose grip around the Spectre had only tightened, her knuckles turning a light blue as they gripped the soldier's waist.

"I'm about to try and wake her up a bit with some cold water, you might want to move."

Liara shifted a bit, but she didn't remove the spectre's head from her shoulder and Aethyta strongly believed she wasn't about to.

"Suit yourself. But change when you get home so you don't get sick."

Liara raised an eyebrow at the parent-like command but said nothing. Aethyta turned and set her hands below the faucet, allowing the frigid water to pool in her hands for several seconds before she splashed it up into Shepard's face. Liara yelped as the water hit her, but stayed still, scrutinizing the soldier's face for any sign of consciousness.

"Did it work?" Aethyta asked though the answer was plainly written across the younger asari's face.

"No. No it didn't, should we try again? Or maybe we should just take her to the hospital or...or the Normandy! They have an excellent on-board doctor."

"Calm down. Let's do it again. If she doesn't wake up we can take her back to her ship and see what the doc there wants to do."

Liara nodded quickly and placed another kiss on Shepard's forehead before she even realized what she was doing. Water splashed her face as she began to pull away and she yipped in surprise.

"Goddess! What was that?"

"Just splashing your friend." said Aethyta emphasizing the word friend as if it were now a euphemism. "Not my fault your face was there too."

"You couldn't wait two seconds?"

"Time is of the essence sweetheart."

"If time is of the essence we need to get her to a hospital. Not the bathroom in the seedy bar she overdosed in!"

"Firstly, not a seedy bar. Secondly..."

Aethyta was cut off as Shepard began coughing violently, her body jerking against Liara's. Liara immediately dismissed Aethyta's presence and began patting Shepard's back, whispering hushedly in the soldier's ear as she regained her breath.

"Fuuuuuck." slurred Shepard as she attempted to sit upright. The entire room looked more like a bad jump through a mass relay than a bathroom, and her vision was a blurry mess of colors and shapes. To her surprise, a warm body was pressed up against hers and she sighed a bit, suddenly struck with the sad remembrance that Liara's body used to fit this well against her own. Well at least she wasn't completely alone at the moment...

As Shepard tried to get her bearings, her stomach turned and she lurched forward, her head bobbing as if her neck were no longer strong enough to support it.

"I'm gonna be sick..."

Liara sprung into action, lifting her love off the counter and leading her to the largest stall as fast as she could. Shepard took two steps and nearly fell, holding onto Liara for dear life.

"Not going to make it..."

Liara dropped to her knees and gently brought Shepard down alongside her, guiding the soldier's head to the toilet a split-second before her body started quaking with deep retches. Liara gathered Shepard's hair in one hand and wrapped her free arm around the soldier beneath her breasts. She covered the soldier's body with her own in an attempt to protect her love from the vulnerability she would inevitably feel, and Shepard's body relaxed underneath her. As the retching subsided, Shepard's head fell against the seat as if she had no further strength to even sit up. Liara began to stand so she could lift up the soldier before a pitiful sound broke her heart. Shepard was starting to cry. Her body shook almost undistinguishably, but the soft whimpers coming from the woman were unmistakable. Liara immediately resumed her position over the soldier's body and began placing desperate kisses along the soldier's back.

"Oh Shepard...goddess, Shepard. Please, please be okay. I'm so sorry...so sorry..."

Aethyta stepped over cautiously to the stall doorway and leaned against it, disputing whether or not she should interrupt the tender scene playing out before her. If she had had doubts about the type of relationship the two shared before, she certainly didn't now as the Spectre's whimpers faded to sniveling breaths under the asari. Liara relaxed just as Shepard did, but it was obvious she had no intention of stepping away from her now as she wrapped her arms tighter around the woman beneath her, her head nuzzling into the soldier's blood-red hair.

"Is she going to be allright?" Aethyta was surprised that the other asari had even noticed her presence, and she didn't even bother to dislodge her head from its place against the soldier's head as she addressed her.

"Should be. She just threw her guts up and I'll bet you anything those guts included both the roofie and a good percentage of the drinks she had recently. May be a bit too much alcohol in her blood still, but if she doesn't get cold and unresponsive again chances are she'll be fine."

Liara sighed in relief and loosened her grip a bit, tilting her head so that it lay comfortably on the soldier's back.

"But um, well, I don't think she should be alone tonight. Just in case, well in case she didn't get everything out and shit starts going bad in the middle of the night. She'll need someone to take her to the hospital if something like that happens. And even if it doesn't get that bad, it's not going to be a good night for the kid either way. I'd offer to take her, but well, I don't know her all that well and I think the kid's had quite enough unfamiliar asari for one night..."

"I'll take her." Liara stated quickly as if Aethyta would auction off the Spectre's company if she didn't answer quick enough. Aethyta sighed in relief, glad that she would be taking care of the soldier for the night. She had a feeling Liara would want to, especially if they were in a relationship, but something seemed very off about that relationship...

"It's later."

"Excuse me?"

Liara sighed indignantly as if she had given Aethyta plenty information to help her understand what she was talking about.

"You said that later you would tell me where that bitch went."

"Right." muttered Aethyta rubbing the back of her neck nervously. In all honesty, she had forgotten about the other woman. She could very well have died by now from the injuries the Matriarch had inflicted.

"Well?" Liara said raising her head from the spectre though she did not remove her arms from the woman's body.

"She's still in the back room. Laying in the corner."

The fiery hate Aethyta had witnessed in Liara's eyes earlier resurfaced and she couldn't help but feel a bit fearful for the other asari. That bitch had no idea who she fucked with.

"Will you watch Shepard? I need to go have a word with her..."

Aethyta shook her head. She could just imagine the hate Liara must be feeling...if someone had done that to Nezzy...well that someone wouldn't have lived to tell about it. But this wasn't the time or the place and she couldn't let Liara suffer the consequences her actions might have.

"No. You need to stay with your girl. You're the only thing keeping her calm right now and she needs that. I don't want you ripping that bitch's head off either, no matter how much she deserves it. If you kill her, I don't know who she is. She could be someone important and you don't exactly have Spectre status like your girlfriend there. You are not going to jail over that bitch do you understand me?"

Liara nodded ruefully though Aethyta could tell by her eyes that she hadn't listened as well as she had hoped. Liara was a powerful information broker, if she wanted to kill someone and keep everyone from knowing about it, she probably could.

"I already did a number on her anyway kid. And what I did would come off like self defense, not cold murder. That's why she's still laying there. Trust me, she got what was coming to her."

"It's not enough." Hissed Liara, though she seemed to acknowledge the fact that she couldn't afford to leave Shepard at the moment. Shepard had completely crumpled though one of her hands was clutching at the blue arm wrapped around her chest.

"It's enough for now. Ruin her life later. I don't think Shep there would want you turning into a killer over her anyways."

Liara's eyes flashed with panic and sadness, and seemed to withdraw from Shepard a bit, letting the Spectre hang in her arms rather than against her body.  _Did I say something wrong?_  Aethyta mused, though she knew now was definitely not the time to explore that. Her daughter's face had become shrouded with guilt and pain, while a now neglected Spectre was beginning to shake.

"Hey! Pay attention. The kid needs you! Don't you pull away from her."

Liara snapped to attention, though her eyes filled with tears.  _Dammit I'm doing it again. Pulling away from her when she needs me. That's how she got into this position Liara._  Aethyta mentally slapped herself for once again upsetting Liara, but at the very least, Shepard had relaxed again, sighing as she relaxed into Liara's arms.

"Hey um, you okay kid?"

"Who me?" said Liara a bit taken aback by the question. She hadn't been okay in two years...

"Yes you. Who else would I be asking? I know she's not okay but it's not like I can ask her any questions right now."

"I ummm...I...it's not important. We need to stay focused on Shepard."

Aethyta nodded though she was a bit hurt by her daughter's refusal to confide her.  _Not like she knows you're her father you prick. Relax. We got bigger problems._

"All right. How about we get her out of here then? I'll go back into the bar and chase everyone out, then you can bring her in and set her on one of the couches while I call a taxi."

Liara nodded and Aethyta set to work, walking out of the room with an authoritative sneer that would be sure to scare any patron still left.

Liara took the moment of privacy to sit back on the floor, pulling Shepard with her to rest in her lap. The soldier's head was limp against the asari's breasts and their legs lay splattered against each other's. Liara's strong heartbeat entranced the Spectre, and her previously erratic breathing slowed to one more reminiscent of sleep than poisoning. Shepard lay motionless for a few minutes before she jolted up, her head whipping around in confusion. A few moments passed before she noticed the blue arms wrapped around her and she immediately attempted to escape, pushing away as if she had been kidnapped. Liara's arms did not yield however, and she began to calm the Spectre as quick as she could.

"Shepard! Shepard! It's me Shepard, Liara."

Shepard relaxed at the mention of her lover's name, though when her eyes met the asari's, her intoxication still barred her from complete understanding. Her green orbs swirled with confusion and disbelief, though there was a child-like hopefulness about her features, her face lit by the mere idea that Liara was there for her.

"Li...Liara?"

"Yes, yes Shepard I'm here." Liara's voice broke as she responded to the Spectre, her eyes filling with tears once more. Shepard cocked her head in response, the confusion in her eyes only increasing as her head bobbed a bit due to her jilted depth perception of the moment.

"Why areya crying?" she slurred, though her words were etched with concern.

Liara choked on a dark chuckle, disbelief spreading to her. Shepard had no right to be worried about her right now...And yet, she was.

"Goddess, I don't know." she said, wiping at her eyes at the same time that Shepard attempted to, though her movements were still jerky and uncoordinated and she only managed to swipe at the blue skin, the gesture melted Liara's heart. "Never mind that, how are you feeling?"

"Tired Li." she slurred again, her head rolling back onto Liara's chest.

Liara sighed in relief at the Spectre's voice. Maybe everything was going to be all right.

"Well the taxi will be here soon Shepard. You can get some sleep at my place."

Liara looked down to see if the Spectre had any response to that news, but the soldier didn't respond.

"Shepard?"

Once again the soldier didn't respond, and Liara felt the familiar panic she had been feeling all night begin to spread through her chest.

"Shepard?!"

Shepard's body had gone limp against her own, and Liara struggled to her feet, lifting Shepard with her. Aethyta was taking too long, she needed to get Shepard home now.

She burst into the bar, Shepard securely in her arms as the matriarch locked the doors behind the last stumbling Volus that was bumbling on about a biotic god.

"Everything all right kid? Something happen?"

"She woke up and she talked to me, she was actually talking for a bit but then she stopped moving and she just seems so weak we need to get her home now, please can we go?" Liara said in a rush as she scurried up beside the Matriarch.

"Slow down kid, it's okay. She's still pretty intoxicated, she'll probably bounce between consciousness a lot, but she's responding to basic cues and waking up when you need her to. Let me call the taxi and we'll get out of here okay? I'll help you get her to your apartment and then take off from there."

Liara nodded and moved to set Shepard down on a metallic grey couch close to the exit. Though she loved holding Shepard, she didn't have the muscular endurance her lover had, and she was afraid that if she attempted to hold her for too long, Shepard would experience an unfortunate meeting with the floor.

She stroked Shepard's hair as Aethyta spoke with the taxi company, cringing a bit at the bits of explicit language that Aethyta threw in as she arranged for their transportation.

"Wait so when the fuck you gonna be here? Oh all right, hurry your ass up and maybe you'll get something extra. No I do not mean sex. Do me a favor, why don't you send me a driver that isn't a dick?"

With a click Aethyta hung up the phone, muttering something about "taxi dicks that think they're as important as emergency vehicles." Liara took the free moment to slide down beside Shepard on the couch, resting her head on her soldier's chest as she folded one of the Commander's arms atop her shoulders. She took a few moments getting comfortable, shifting until she found comfort with a leg curled around the soldier's body, her arms gripping her midsection with the intention of not letting the soldier go. She didn't think she could.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite Aethyta's less than chivalrous exchange with the taxi company, a driver arrived in less than 10 minutes. When it arrived, the elder bartender helped Liara carry the unconscious Spectre to the backseat. The pair slid her in with a gentleness usually reserved for fine artifacts and Liara herself slid into the backseat the second Shepard was situated, her head in the asari's lap. Aethyta herself settled in the front seat to give them some privacy and to allow the Spectre enough room to lie comfortably.

As Liara stroked Shepard's cheek, she couldn't help but notice how warm she was. The Spectre was absolutely boiling, though the trails left by her earlier tears were taking their time evaporating. Liara leaned over the soldier, scattering small pecks on her cheeks and in her hair, as if every one had the potential to aid in healing the Spectre. Shepard sniffled a bit, and immediately the asari sprang into action, nestling her head in the mop of red hair below her, whispering encouragement.

"Oh Shepard, it'll be okay love. I promise... I love you. Oh goddess, I love you. Please be okay Jane, please be okay."

Aethyta kept facing forward in the front seat, careful not to disturb the two behind her. The driver beside her did the same thing, though she could tell by his face that he had noticed the silent whimpers and whispers behind him. It was raining a steady, yet non-violent pour and Aethyta reveled in it, listening to the rain and the soft radio instead of the two behind her. Admittedly, it was a beautiful night. The situation they were in was anything but, and yet the sky was a mixture between dark blue and a velvety black, framed by storm clouds that seemed to reflect the lights of the bustling colony below.

"I don't want to be rude." The driver began in a soft voice, addressing the asari that wasn't enthralled in a human with a flick of his eyes, though he kept focus on the sky ahead. "But your friend back there looks a lot like that one crazy dead Spectre, Commander Shepard."

Aethyta nodded slowly, barely giving the driver any attention but the man continued with a chuckle. "Only difference is the Commander would never have gotten all shit-faced and snivelly. She was stronger than a Krogan on steroids. Could've emptied in a thermal clip in her mouth and that woman wouldn't have even thought about shedding a single tear. If your friend changed her attitude, she could really look like just her."

Aethyta took a deep breath before responding. Though she wanted to tell him to go get fucked by a raving Vorcha, being overly defensive could attract more attention to Shepard, and she was not going to risk a cab driver selling Shepard out to a tabloid for a few extra credits.

"You calling my friend weak?"

"Oh, oh shit! No! Everybody has those nights... I'm sorrry, you know I just meant..."

"I don't care what you meant. Shit happens. Doesn't mean anything about how strong she is. That sort of hero worship isn't realistic either. The Commander..." she said drastically imitating the man's voice, "probably was just as fucked up as the rest of us. Probably more. With assholes like you expecting her to be perfect, she was probably getting shit-faced nightly but that wouldn't have made a fucking difference to how strong she was."

"I think you've spent too many nights at the bar watching lesser marines get shit-faced over the pressure in their lives. Shepard wasn't like that. I mean, have you seen that vids? That woman..." he said shaking his head with disbelief. "That woman was unstoppable! Best humanity had to offer. Probably inspired generations of soldiers to be better at their fucking jobs and not lose a damn battle on account of a hangover. Too bad she had to go out and fucking die. We could still use her you know."

Aethyta wanted to keep arguing with him, but she knew it was futile. This was how most of the galaxy saw Shepard. The perfect soldier that never made a mistake.  _Fuck, and the poor kid tries to live up to that._

Aethyta sighed. Sure, Shepard hadn't lost many planetary battles, but from her research, Shepard had lost a lot of the smaller ones. Saving her friend and the nuke on Virmire had to have been a battle the young soldier wished she had been able to win. Or the battle of Akuze, that wasn't a victory. To the Alliance it might've been, but to Shepard, it had to have been a slaughter.

And what he said about her death. She clenched her fists as she recalled. She knew most of the galaxy wished Shepard was still around, but only because they wanted to continue using her. That was all the soldier had ever been to them. A tool. And tools are only useful when they're not broken...

Aethyta spent the rest of the ride turning up the radio and cycling through channels to give the man beside her a clear signal she was done talking to him. Thankfully, they arrived at Liara's apartment quickly, and the second the younger asari had a secure hold on the soldier, Aethyta paid the fare and refused the driver even a shitty tip before helping her daughter guide the Spectre to the elevator. When they finally got to Liara's apartment, Aethyta took over holding Shepard as Liara fiddled with her omni-tool to unlock the door. Thankfully, though Liara's fingers were shaking heavily, it only took her a few attempts before she was able to open the door. As soon as the door was open, Liara rushed to Aethyta's side and began supporting Shepard's left side, completing the set of Asari crutches that were currently carrying the Commander.

"You got a guest bed we can lay her on kid?"

"Well um, actually, well, I'm a very busy woman that doesn't have time for the likes of….. guests. The only bed in the apartment is mine and it's upstairs."

"Fuck. I don't think we can carry her all the way upstairs safely. Guess she's couch surfing tonight. That one over there looks comfortable enough. And expensive."

Liara blushed a bit at the mention of her fortune, as if she was embarrassed to have done so well in the past few years but Aethyta paid no mind, already walking the Spectre over to the dark leather couch. The two of them laid Shepard down gently on the far side of the couch, positioning her on her side across several cushions. Shepard shivered a bit as she settled down, but Liara made no move to sit beside her, suddenly overcome with nerves as the image of Shepard in her apartment finally dawned on her. She had dreamed about seeing Shepard in her apartment since the day she had bought it, but she had never actually thought it would happen. Especially not like this. It was like a collision between the two worlds she had never thought to associate. Her life as an information broker seemed so separate from her life on the Normandy, as if two Liara's had really existed, and yet, here was Shepard to unite her broken pieces all over again. But it would take heat to mold her back together, heat Liara was not ready to face.

Aethyta cleared her throat to shake Liara out of her thoughts. To the matriarch, it was obvious there was a lot wrong with her daughter, but she couldn't convince herself it was her place to ask.

"I think your friend's cold. That leather couch is pretty and all but it doesn't seem very warm. Both of you are still wet from the water and I dumped on you earlier too. Why don't you go change so you don't catch something and I'll get some blankets for the kid. You got a place where you keep stuff like that?"

Liara shook her head, looking admittedly guilty for not having an abundance of blankets. It seemed almost absurd to Aethyta, but she had been in love once. She knew the feeling of wanting to provide for the one you cared about, the want to do anything from taking a bullet for that person to making sure they had a damn blanket.

"No problem kid. I'll just take some from your bed."

Liara nodded and bounded up the stairs, Aethyta lazily following as they ascended to the younger asari's room. Aethyta tried not to be too curious as she started to strip the bed of its largest blankets, but she couldn't resist taking a look around at the room that very obviously reflected her daughter, standing near her rifling through a dresser of clothes.

"You interested in the Protheans?" she said casually as a piece of Prothean artwork caught her eye.

"Um, well yes. I wrote my thesis on them. And their disappearance. They've always...fascinated me. The mystery of them really. To think, the pinnacle of all species, could just vanish." She said with a touch of wonder in her voice as she spoke.

Aethyta smiled though Liara couldn't notice.  _I can just tell by her voice she really loves this._

"But they didn't. They didn't just vanish I mean. A sentient species wiped them out." Liara stated coldly as she the wonder slipped from her eyes a bit.  _The reapers._  Aethyta thought.  _Yes I heard._  She remembered the claims Shepard and her Normandy crew had made before the Alliance had all but stifled all mention of the Reapers. Aethyta knew it to be improbable, but hearing Liara's voice saying it, it felt real.

"I believe you ya know. Those Reaper bastards probably did wipe out the Protheans. It's the only explanation that makes sense right now. And it must have some truth to it if those Alliance dicks tried to cover it up like they did."

Liara's eyes lit up for a brief moment and she blushed a bit at the vote of confidence.

"So, you wrote a thesis on the Protheans huh? For what degree program?"

"I have a PhD from the University of Serrice. I used to be an archeologist studying the Protheans." Of course Aethyta already knew that, but the idea of quizzing Liara on her life like she had already read it and just wanted some clarification seemed creepy. Besides, she liked hearing her daughter's life from her own mouth.

"Used to be huh? You not like it?"

"I...well, no." Liara said, leaning back on the dresser and chewing on her lip in thought.

"I loved it. It was an amazing opportunity, a tad lonely, but a great opportunity."

"So why did you leave?" Aethyta asked, a bit unsure of herself.  _Dammit, you're how many centuries old? And you're nervous talking to your own daughter._

"Well, I didn't actively choose to leave. There were...complications. I'm lucky Shepard was there. After that, well I guess I just stayed with the Commander on the Normandy. The work she was doing seemed more important than my digs and I helped her with any knowledge of the Protheans I had. It was nice. I mean, aside from the whole trying not to let the whole galaxy get destroyed, it was nice. A lot less lonely."

The connotations of Liara's last statement weren't lost on Aethyta, but she was still unsure if she should pry into her daughter's relationships.

"Why didn't you go back? You know, after Shep got spaced."

Liara's eyes flashed in painful memory and Aethyta regretted bringing it up, and doing so in such an insensitive manner.

"I, I don't know. A lot had changed. I wasn't an archeologist anymore."

In an attempt to bring the mood back to a more cheerful place, Aethyta cracked, "Are you sure? Your apartment's a dig site in itself. If your room ever caves in, some poor archeologist in a few thousand years is going to be very confused as to why there are so many Prothean artifacts in this one place."

The joke earned a smile from Liara, and Aethyta silently thanked the goddess for the distraction from her mistake. She finished pulling the bedding from the bed as Liara began to walk to the bathroom to change. Aethyta chuckled a bit under her breath at her daughter's modesty. She definitely wasn't most asari.

Aethyta walked down the stairs though she nearly tripped on the tail of the comforter several times.  _Fucking dammit she thought, who would've known walking with a comforter would be more dangerous than being a commando was for me?_

Shepard was fast asleep on the couch, still shivering a bit when Aethyta approached her. She used her biotics to suspend Shepard in the air for a moment as she placed a layer of sheets over the leather on the couch, folding them a bit clumsily but hell, she wasn't a homemaker. After she was satisfied with her placement, she lowered the Spectre back down carefully, and placed the largest blanket over her, folded at her shoulders. Shepard was still shaking a bit, but the matriarch was at least satisfied that she wouldn't freeze to death. After a few moments, Shepard's shaking completely stopped and Aethyta noticed Liara had entered the room. It's almost like she could sense her presence. Or her mind.  _Liara you little minx._

Liara didn't notice the flash of pride on Aethyta's face as her attention turned to Shepard the moment she entered the room. She sat down beside the Spectre and began stroking her hair, pushing it out of her face in a way that Shepard would. She hated her hair in her face. Unless she was...well, otherwise occupied.

An image of Shepard thrusting into Liara from above suddenly crossed the asari's mind. The Spectre's dark red hair was in her face, but she didn't seem to mind and her green eyes held Liara's gaze as her entire body worked above Liara's. Liara tried to get the thought out of her head in a panic. It had been a while since a thought that explicitly detailed about Shepard had crossed her mind. She usually blocked them out. She blushed a bit with the knowledge that she was thinking about sex with Shepard in the same room as a Matriarch, and when Shepard was so obviously facing other dilemmas.

"Well I think I'm going to get going, call another taxi asshole and go the fuck to sleep. Take of her kid. And yourself."

As Aethyta began to stand, Liara suddenly jumped to her feet.

"Wait." Aethyta cocked an eyebrow in surprise as the gesture.

"I mean, well, you've been so helpful in taking care of Shepard tonight...the least I can do is have you wait here until the taxi comes. I'll make you a drink, I have…well,water. And tea I believe. Maybe."

Aethyta chuckled at the other asari's earnest gratitude and pleading look, before striding towards the kitchen.

"No need to thank me T'Soni, but a warm drink sounds fine."

Liara smiled in relief and followed, rummaging through the cabinets while Aethyta called the cab and then took a seat at the small bar at the edge of the kitchenette.

"I don't think I have much in the ways of Asari beverages around here, I have some human ones though. Have you ever had coffee? I think it's pretty good, though it does contain a mild stimulant. I think have some without it around here somewhere."

"Coffee's good, I've had it before. Don't you dare give me decaf though, that tastes like shit."

Liara flashed a smile and stopped rummaging through her cabinets, grabbing a bag of coffee near the top.

"I don't like it either."

As Liara made the coffee, Aethyta surveyed the kitchenette, chuckling a bit at the sight of dirty dishes in the sink. For someone so organized, she didn't expect Liara to overlook a sinkful of dishes. Or more suprisingly, be cooking instead of ordering food.

"What's up with all the dirty dishes? Were you not expecting an asari matriarch and drunk Spectre to be visiting tonight?" Aethyta teased, smiling at her busy daughter.

Liara raised an eyebrow, though her composure was playful.

"Matriarch, I can only assume you've seen far worse messes than a sink full of dishes."

Aethyta chuckled.

"Fair enough kid. Seriously though, you cook?"

"A bit." Liara admitted shyly, and Aethyta chuckled again.

"I'm a shitty cook. Had a girl that was a great cook when I was younger though. You remind me of her. She was a horrible cook and then BAM! One day I come home to the best fucking meal of my life and her amazing tits. She was smart. Like, really smart. When she put her mind to being good at something, she became fucking great. Guess she wanted to learn to be good at cooking that day."

Liara's bright smile told Aethyta she had learned cooking the same way. In about a day when her studious mind decided she wanted to do it.

Liara finished the coffee, pouring the pot into two small mugs that looked official, like they belonged in the office of a lawyer somewhere. For some reason, Aethyta's usual distaste for the upclass didn't surface and she loved the mug anyway. Her daughter's taste wasn't half bad. She sipped the coffee slowly, staring into the mug as she did, observing the dark liquid as it contrasted with her purple lips. When she looked up, Liara's eyes had clouded again, but before she could speak, the young information broker did.

"I don't know if I said thank you. But thank you. I don't know what...what would've happened to Shepard if you hadn't been there." Aethyta didn't miss the pain in Liara's voice as she spoke, and the way her voice quivered when she mentioned Shepard.

"Don't mention it kid. And don't think about it. It didn't happen okay? She's fine."

"She's not though." Liara said quietly, looking down into the table. "Those bags under her eyes, they didn't develop in a night. And some of this was her own choice. Something drove her to alcohol tonight."

Aethyta reached over the table and tilted Liara's chin so the asari looked at her.

"Don't. Look, I don't know the full story, but getting drunk is a normal part of a soldier's life. They see a lot of shit. She would've been just fine had it not been for that other bitch. She alone fucked her night up okay?"

Liara nodded and Aethyta released her, sitting back in her chair and curling her hands over her mug. Both sat similarly, with their heads tilted toward their drinks and hands curled around their mugs, absorbing the heat. An awkward silence followed, but while Liara shifted in her seat, Aethyta finally scrounged up the courage to ask the question she had debated asking all night.

"So kid, what's up with you and Shepard?"

Liara didn't look up. She just took a shaky breath and continued to appear enthralled in her coffee.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's going on with you two? I understand friendly concern, but you didn't have that tonight. Your whole world seemed on the verge of falling the fuck apart all night. A friend doesn't have that kind of power. Especially not over a woman like you."

Liara took a sip of her coffee, obviously thinking over what Aethyta said so the Matriarch continued.

"And you were the only thing that kept her calm all night. I'm not fucking blind kid, I saw how the two of you reacted whenever you touched each other. If she was in better condition, I'm sure I wouldn't be here and you be peeling off her uniform on that couch over there."

Liara looked up in shock, her face so purple Aethyta could've sworn she had dyed her cheeks the color.

"I..I...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Look I'm not criticizing it, she's a good looking gal. Not the best rack in the galaxy, but definitely attractive. It'll hurt your power status a bit to be with her though, most species only listen to you if they want to have sex with you, and if you're not available, well that means less species care about your opinions."

Liara gaped at her father, mouth wide as she recovered her thoughts.

"One, that isn't true. I've never acted sexually available to get an opportunity and two, stop assuming I am involved with Shepard!"

"So you're not?" said Aethyta incredulously.

"No." said Liara tersely, sinking down in her chair as if she could hide from the matriarch's arched eyebrow and surprised face.

"Wow. That's a real surprise, way you've been acting I would've thought the two of you were either married or having really great sex."

Liara's groaned and put her face in her palms.

"Can we please stop talking about intercourse with Shepard?"

"Intercourse? Can't even use the word sex? Kid, you are a bigger prude than I thought."

Aethyta chuckled a bit, enjoying the mortified look of disgust on Liara's face before she leaned in, a more serious look on her face.

"Look, I'm not interested in whether or not you and Shep have ever embraced eternity together, but there's something between you and I've been at the bar longer than you've been alive kid. I know when a girl comes in looking for a drink to solve her relationship problems."

Liara looked away, tears leaking from her eyes, but to the Matriarch's surprise, she spoke.

"I, I don't understand why she's doing so badly. I thought she was over this. When I knew her, she still bottled up her problems but she never turned to a bottle. She stopped doing this."

"Liara" Aethyta said softly, drawing her attention, though she didn't quite know what to say. She was good at serving drinks not solving problems. "Like I said, soldiers see a lot of shit. Sometimes they see something particularly bad and they need a night to forget about it. I've done it, Shepard's done it, hell that Anderson fellow has been in my bar doing it. No harm."

Liara cringed, her earlier research on Shepard's mission at the Atlas facility coming to mind. Goddess, what had happened? She took a deep breath, preparing for Aethyta's likely teasing with her next admission.

"If I, goddess, if I hadn't left." Aethyta's eyes flicked with pain for a moment, and the matriarch surprisingly stayed quiet.

"She would have come to me tonight. Told me what she saw, showed me so she wouldn't be so alone... She wouldn't have gone and attempted to wreck her liver and risk her own life in a shady bar. Shepard's more intelligent than that. I mean, what the hell was she doing drinking as much as she did? It's not like she was on the Normandy. And she didn't even have a weapon on her! Any one of the billions of people that are hurrying to send her to her death again could have walked in and shot her while she was so intoxicated she could barely sit up! And what in could have possibly made her think it was a good idea to go with that, that woman! Shepard has always been the best in the galaxy as reading people, did she honestly think that drinking alone in a private room with her wouldn't end in that bitch trying to get in her uniform? Or, or is that what she wanted to happen."

Liara's eyes reddened at the thought. Sometime during her rant that had turned furious, she had stood up, the dangerous information broker persona washing over her again. Now, she leaned over the counter as if she needed the support, and her head hung low, broken by the thought that Shepard might have wanted to sleep with the other asari.

Aethyta took a deep breath.

"Kid, if Shep had wanted to fuck that other bitch, she would have much earlier in the night. She had plenty of opportunities to get on top of someone and she turned them all down. She just wanted a drink, she wasn't trying to use sex to forget. Just booze."

"She hasn't been sleeping well." Liara stated with a faraway look in her eye. "She always slept well after, well, after..."

"Hah! I knew you had spent some time underneath her! Guess you're not the prude I thought you were."She said chuckling, her face lit with pride.

" Not the point! Yes, Shepard and I have joined together. Happy?" Liara's face had completely turned purple to Aethyta's amusement.

"Very."

"Still not the point. The point is, she always slept well after. What if she knew she needed sleep to keep her senses alert for the mission, so she went out looking for a….well, a whore….to assist her?"

Aethyta wiped her eye, catching a tear that had leaked during her fit of laughing. She caught her breath under Liara's cold glare and turned to the asari, coughing a bit before steeling her voice.

"Kid, Shep sleeping well after sex had nothing to do with the sex part of it. Well maybe a little, but not much. It was who she was sleeping with. I'm sure after you guys joined you stayed the night with her, didn't you?"

Liara nodded, a bit hesitant at the talk of her and Shepard's sex life.

"I stayed with her every night while we were together."

"And did she sleep well? I mean, on the nights you didn't fuck each other's brains out."

Liara cringed but continued, liking where this talk was going despite the crude nature of it.

"Well, there's weren't a lot of nights like that..."

"Didn't you say you spent the night in her cabin every night when you two were together?"

"Yes..."

"How long were you two together?

"Little more than a month.."

"That's still like 30 days...hahaha I really underestimated you kid, guess I can't call you a total prude anymore. Unless the sex wasn't good. Was it all vanilla or did you let Shep go all Commander on you a couple times?"

"Back to the point please." Liara scolded though her blush answered Aethyta's question for her.

"I'm so proud! Hahahaha ahem. Well, my point, right. How did she sleep on those nights?"

Liara tilted her head, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to remember.

"Well. Well, I think. Sometimes she had nightmares, Akuze,Virmire, Saren, Noveria...they all got to her sometimes. She didn't sleep well then, but those happened whether we joined physically or not. I knew how to calm her down. How to rub her back, stroke her hair, and when to wake her up and have her talk about it when it got too bad. If it was horrible, I would meld with her and replace the dream with my own memories of her. The good ones. It always worked."

Liara swallowed, as if a lump had suddenly appeared in her throat.

"She said I was the only one that could stop the nightmares." The memory was still vivid in Liara's mind, Shepard opening up, completely vulnerable though the soldier hated it. Telling her she was the only one that had ever helped her like that, her green eyes swimming with pain and weakness, before a smirk tried to cover it all up.

"Do you believe her?"

"She could have found something else."

"She had a lot of time before you to find something else. Said you were that something else alone. Do you believe her?"

"I...yes."

"Good because kid, I've been here all night. She always calmed down around you. When you touched her, even when you entered the room. She wasn't looking for something else, because for her, there is nothing else. Believe her okay? Even if she's not saying it, her body is. I don't think she could say it right now. She'd probably slur too much and mess it all up. Trust her anyway okay?"

Liara nodded, letting the words sink in for a moment before she grabbed Aethyta over the counter and pulled her into a slightly uncomfortable hug over the bar between them.

Aethyta froze for a moment, unsure of what to do in such a soft gesture before imitating Liara and folding her arms around the younger asari.  _I'm fucking hugging my kid. Hah, not how I expected this day to play out._

When the doorbell rang, Liara pulled away and shifted embarrassedly from toe to toe.

"Sorry, I, it's just, you've helped so much."

"Don't mention it kid. Don't mention it." Aethyta wanted to tell Liara that she could always count on her for help, but the words felt stuck in her mind. Maybe another time. She walked to the door briskly, but stopped before leaving.

"Oh and Liara?"

"Yes?"

"If you get back together with Shepard, make sure she treats you right. If she doesn't, call me. I know how to fight dirty like your girl wouldn't believe. And she better quit Cerberus soon. A girl in a Cerberus uniform isn't good enough for you. Not someone like you, capable of raising hell with those little wings."

Without looking back to see Liara's reaction, Aethyta stepped out and headed for the taxi, feeling like a father.


	7. Chapter 7

Miranda stared blankly into the green flashing lights of her console, irritation creeping into her movements as her blank tapping on her desk became a grating soundtrack to her frustration. Ever since she had been a child, the operative had always prided herself on her unrelenting focus. Despite almost constant emotional trauma at the hands of her father, the biotic had always finished what was required to get done due to an uncanny ability to shut down those paralyzing emotions that lesser beings always allowed themselves. And yet, in the midst of what could possibly be the most taxing mission of her life, that ability seemed broken. Miranda felt broken.

Miranda was never one to doubt Cerberus. She didn't have reason to. Though the organization was certainly guilty of using the ends to justify morally gray means, its mission was simple. To protect humanity, as it had protected Miranda.

And yet, that protection had not extended to Jack. And it had not extended to David.

Miranda had been able to hold her stoic composure on Pragia. She had been able to hold judgment on the hard beds and arenas where children had lost their lives for research because that, that wasn't Cerberus. Not really. It was an rogue cell, a diseased limb on a perfectly functioning body she had come to trust. And even though it had been hard, mind-numbingly hard to see Jack's fiery eyes cloud in that place, Miranda could not mentally afford herself the luxury of doubting her employer and former rescuer. And she didn't grab those shaking tattooed hands like she had wanted to. And she didn't tell Jack how hard it was not to believe her.

Because she had to continue to believe in Cerberus, and that everything she had done for them had been for a greater good after all. The operative had never gone so far as to hurt a child, but she was no stranger to the unethical for an organization she trusted to do the right thing in the end. And on that planet, at that time, she could not face the truth. And she didn't have to then. As horrific as it was, the fact the project was exiled had been convenient. It wasn't Cerberus to her. And that had allowed her to sleep that night.

Overlord however, had been Cerberus. The Illusive Man himself had held his cigarette to one end of the project, threatening to burn those unable and unwilling to progress. Sure, the Illusive Man hadn't tortured his own brother, causing a man suffering he would likely never recover from, but his hands were not clean from the blood of the project. And now, the Operative could not shake the feeling her hands were no longer clean either.

Miranda took a deep sigh and reached across her desk for the small class of liquor of which she usually only allowed herself sips of when it took more than a pillow to rest from plaguing dreams of her father at night. The blue liquid burned against her tongue as she drank from the slender glass, but the burn was almost therapeutic, as if she could burn away the guilt she felt.

After a long drag, the operative finally retired the glass to her desk, releasing a long sigh as if it was possible to audibly remove a lingering pain from her mind. With her breath the biotic resolved to try and escape her thoughts once again, turning her attention to the console before her. Clicking on her first message humming with a low green light, the Operative frowned as a long sarcastic report spread across her terminal. Much to Miranda's distaste, Shepard's close friend and obnoxious personal pilot, Mr. Moreau, clearly hated writing reports on his ship for Miranda, and with each tech and status report, it was more apparent.

_What'll it be this time, a long report focusing on the mundane just for the sake of wasting my time, or a satirical report with humor that never ceases to fall flat._

With another sip from her glass, Miranda decided to pass on suffering through Joker's report for the moment, and scrolled to the next message, resisting the urge to outrightly trash the pilot's message in her moment of frustration. The next message is quite a bit shorter, but just as pointless in the mind of the strict operative who held a substantial distaste for information she believed to waste precious time in lieu of potentially critical messages that almost always existed in her inbox.

The message is a report from Kelly Chambers, detailing her most recent psychological evaluations with the crew. Though Miranda was not arrogant enough to dismiss the importance of crew morale, she was frankly, tiring fast of Chambers' reports. Week to week, there were less than ten words of variation between them, her report glossing over more stable members of the team such as Samara and Garrus, and focusing on Jack's violent resistance to a formal psychological evaluation for pages. Truth be told, Miranda did not care if Jack did not want an evaluation. The criminal seemed attached enough to Shepard to complete the mission, and that was all Miranda cared about. It was not her responsibility to pay mind to what could happen after the fact. The only psychological evaluation Miranda bothered to read religiously was that of the Commander. Though Miranda had complete confidence in Shepard's mental resilience, in a mission like this, even cracks in the mind of their leader could widen and swallow their team. It was Miranda's job to make sure those cracks stayed shut. Or as thin as the cracks in the mind or a soldier could be.

Scrolling through the document, Miranda quickly found the small section on Shepard. Though Miranda was quite aware of Shepard's history with a certain asari information broker, and had been present at the uncharacteristically unprofessional exchange between the two shortly ago, it was obvious Chambers was not. Shepard was not an open book, though she did allow her crew to read specific chapters on a need to know basis. Liara did not classify as such. The Operative herself would have little knowledge of the relationship had she not been informed prior to the Lazarus Project. And even then, she would not have bee aware the Commander had continued to harbor such intense feelings had she not witnessed the rejection in the asari's office. Miranda cringed, remembering Shepard during the exchange. The usually stoic and slightly menacing Commander had let her emotions guide her words, revealing a vulnerability only Liara could bring out in the Spectre. Though the soldier's military career had been constantly touched with rumors of the attractive woman using shore leave to find pleasurable company, Shepard had never said a word to address the rumors or her sexual history in any way, never confirming any of her partners or the constant rumor she preferred the company of female bodies in her bed. And yet, she had spat her sexual history with Liara at the asari in front of a squad, and in front of whoever could have been listening in that Illium office. It was a move atypical for the professional and cautious Commander, and that frightened the operative.

However, Miranda's memory did not allow her to fully distrust the asari, Liara had done her an incredible favor finding Shepard's body for her, risking her life and protecting Cerberus secrets on behalf of her passion for the spectre. Though Liara was not a Cerberus sympathetic, she would likely never pose danger to the organization on purpose as long as the Commander for which she had sacrificed so much was employed with them.

Chambers did not mention Liara in her report, or the compromised mental state to which Liara had most certainly become an addition to in the soldier. Miranda almost wished Shepard had opened up to Chambers, so the operative could at least know if the soldier had made progress in letting the information broker go. But Shepard had not. And Miranda was left with a vague, uninformed psychiatric evaluation.

 

 

**SHEPARD, JANE**

2185 - 0202

Subject reports no mental/psychiatric concerns. The subject is not on any psychiatric medications in need of monitoring.

From observation, the subject has dark bags under her eyes and slightly reddened sclera of the eye. Suggests lack of sleep. Unclear as to whether this is from overworking the Commander on the behalf of Cerberus, insomnia, or a mental condition. Subject did not comment on observation and reported sleeping fine.

Subject's history includes a bout of PTSD after an incident dating back to 2177 on Akuze (see notes 3100-SJ). In addition, alcoholic tendencies were reported by the subject's commanding officer when the subject was at the rank of recruit. Mild drug use speculative while on earth before Alliance enrollment.

 

 

Miranda rolled her eyes at Shepard dismissing Chambers' confrontation about her lack of sleep. In Miranda's opinion, the Commander was working beyond human capability, but not overworked in her own capabilities quite yet. Which meant there had to be another reason the Commander was not sleeping. Miranda was aware of Shepard's history with PTSD, Chambers typically included the same few sentences on Shepard's history of alcoholism and mental disorder on every report. Though to Chambers' frustration, the counselor had been unable to collect recent evaluations on Shepard's relationship with the two as their mission progressed. The most the yeoman was able to report nowadays was her own professional distaste for Jack and Garrus for so frequently taking Shepard out to drink.

Miranda tapped a few buttons on her terminal, the information screens transforming into an array of video feeds, each from the operative's camera laden throughout the ship. Though Shepard was likely aware of the majority of Miranda's cameras monitoring the crew, she clearly was unaware of the one Miranda had used to EDI to hide in the Commander's quarters.

A piece of Miranda felt guilty for invading the spectre's privacy, she had originally conceptualized the hidden feed as a way to monitor Shepard's free will and to test if the Commander's initial disdain for Cerberus would become betrayal. Even after Shepard had proven herself to be loyal to the mission, the operative had convinced herself not to remove the feed, telling herself comfort was dangerous, and women like Shepard were more dangerous still. To the mission, the crew, and herself.

The Commander was far more empathetic than Miranda, and though her renegade shell was deceiving, Miranda had been able to use her feed to review when Shepard was at risk to turn to her old habits and a bottle after those missions so strenuous the Commander could only storm to her cabin after returning to the Normandy. If Miranda was watching on those nights, and Shepard was holding the bottle she kept tucked under her bed, usually a visitor such as Garrus or Joker would wind up at Shepard's cabin, with little explanation other than Miranda told them Shepard had to speak with them.

With a click of a few buttons, Shepard's room filled the screens. Miranda expected the Commander to be distraught, possibly already drinking, due to the delay in the Operative's had check in while she confronted her own feelings on Overlord. What Miranda didn't expect however is exactly what she finds, a room empty of the soldier altogether. Miranda squinted at the screens, moving in closer as if in any system that would work to magically cause the Spectre to reappear. After a few shocked seconds of staring blankly at the bed where the soldier should be resting, the Operative surveyed the room for clues as to where the Commander could have gone. Shepard was not authorized for shore leave though the ship was parked on Illium for Shepard to make good on her promise to help Miranda protect her sister later in the upcoming days. Dr. Chakwas had informed the soldier earlier that afternoon she was to take a medi-gel bath and rest for the night as she recovered from a few brutal shots sustained from the mechs on Aite, directions Miranda had thought Shepard intelligent enough to heed.

Almost all of the medi-gel canisters Chakwas had issued were sitting on Shepard's desk, only about 25% depleted, as if the soldier had only slapped on a bit of the substance before abandoning the ship instead of following the doctors orders. Miranda scanned the room for the container missing, a part of her hoping it was not there, and Shepard had found the good sense to take it with her wherever she had traveled. However, Miranda is disappointed as she sees the canister poking out of Shepard's small trash can. The blue liquid of the unused container almost completely filled the translucent bin, though a patch of the gel was starkly discolored around a wad of trash made up of a paper roll of model ship instructions Shepard had wrapped to fit in the trash. Or, it seemed. Miranda frowned as she scrolled into the picture, the clearer frame allowing for a closer look at the papers that were not bound to fit in the trash can, but around a thin brandy bottle Shepard was clearly trying to hide, the source of the discoloration.

_Goddammit Shepard!_

Miranda practically screamed in her head, her fist slamming against the desk in frustration. There wasn't much in the bottle, resulting in minimal discoloration, and Miranda silently prayed it was an old bottle that hadn't held much to begin with at the beginning of the night. The agent frantically scrolled across the picture, trying to find any other hints to where the Spectre could have gone to no avail. For a moment, the biotic considered breaking into the Commander's quarters to search further, but decided against the idea as she remembered EDI would tell the Commander immediately if she returned from just blowing off steam. There was a possibility Shepard would understand the invasion of privacy in the context of Miranda's concern, but it was far more likely for the Commander to be incensed by any entrance into her very private life. After a minute of unenlightening search, Miranda decided she may have better luck finding the soldier by cycling through the feeds she had placed monitoring the rest of the crew. If she was lucky, at least one of them was safeguarding the inebriated soldier.

With a touch of a button Miranda flips first to her feed of their frequently calibrating turian, a decent educated guess as Shepard and Garrus were no strangers to spending time together a bottle deep. However, Garrus is alone in his machinic room, his talons tapping the buttons in equal rhythm with no spectre perched on the grates near the room entry.  _At least some of us can use our work to move on_ Miranda thought with a small pang of jealousy before switching to Jack's feed, trying to stay calm as a wave of desperate hope that Shepard would just be sharing another nasty batarian bottle while talking through the mission with the criminal. The operative is immediately met with a screen full of static and deafening frustration at the loud white noise. Though Miranda is not surprised Jack found and disabled the camera, she is enraged in the situation. Throwing her glass across the room with a biotic fit, Miranda barely paid attention to the crash the colored liquid as it oozed onto the floor of her office. If she was going to find if the spectre was with the damn criminal, she would have to check herself. Hopefully she could avoid destroying the bulkhead if met only with her least favorite Normandy resident.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Jack is not surprised when Miranda steps in front of her. The operative's heels had clicked the entire way down the stairs, Jack's least favorite sound on the entire Normandy. The biotic doesn't acknowledge Miranda even when she clears her throat and cocks one hip as she does when annoyed with her crew members, especially when annoyed with a certain tattooed member. Instead, the lanky woman on the bulkhead continues to tamper with her omni tool regardless of the new presence, making a point to avoid eye contact.

"Jack..." Miranda starts, irritation evident in her voice. She doesn't come down often, in fact she would prefer to never come down. Jack should know whatever it was, it was important enough for Miranda to make the trip the operative avoided at all costs in her daily activity. When Jack doesn't respond, Miranda theatrically rolls her eyes and continues.

"I'm not here for you. I'm here for Shepard. Jack. Do you know where she is?"

Jack types for several more seconds, then sits up, slinging her legs over the side of the crate pile she was currently using as a recliner. "Of course you're looking for dear old Commander, knew I saw some disappointment in your eyes when you saw me. And not the usual kind. Did you come down because you couldn't see if Shep was down here on your camera?" Jack sneers, tilting her head towards a dimly lit mangled pile of metal Jack had unceremoniously assembled in the corner of the room.

Miranda bristles, rage flowing through her body before she takes a second to composure herself, the security precautions were not important right now. She would deal with Jack later. When the Commander was onboard again.

"Jack, it's important. You have no earthly idea where Shepard could be?"

Jack glares at her, clearly dismayed by the operative's lack of reaction to her broken toy in the corner. In a smooth move, Jack once again reclines on her crates, looking away from Miranda to the one of the dim red lights on the ceiling. Though Miranda was positive Jack appreciated the unusual lighting because she was under the impression it added to her intimidation, the operative could not disagree more. The warm light made Jack's face look softer, younger even. Though the red tint did appear to discolor her tattoos minorly, the soft color seemed to make them all blend a bit more, different shades of red on a small, sarcastic canvas, that had tensed from the moment Miranda had entered the room.

"Cheerleader. Shepard is a grown ass woman. Why the fuck does it matter if you don't know where she is at every second of every fucking day?"

Miranda stills at Jack's words, and for half a second Jack feels bad for clearly shaking the uncharacteristically concerned woman, though that half a second passes quickly, as does Miranda's hesitation.

"You know what. This does not concern you Jack." Miranda spits, saying Jack's name as if the taste of the very word disgusted her.

"If you don't know where Shepard is I'm leaving." Miranda huffs, spinning on her heel to head towards the staircase, her heels clacking twice before Jack speaks softly.

"Wait."

Miranda halts, rearing on Jack quickly with a rage so intense the biotic sits up on her crates, as if a defensive position could be necessary.

"Don't you DARE pretend you care criminal."

Jack doesn't respond to Miranda's comment, instead she turns her attention to the floor, her dark eyes blank though she shifted her hands nervously, clearly uncomfortable with her own concern for the situation.

"Is Shepard okay? She...didn't seem well..you know….Shepard was…. at the end of the mission."

Miranda stares at Jack in surprise, clearly having not expected the level of concern from the biotic. She crosses her arms, still unwilling to forgive the biotic for her initial apathy, and Jack sighs at the gesture.

"I...fuck I don't know, I'm worried I guess. If that's the feeling. She's been going through a lot since that blue bitch threw her away."

Miranda nods, understanding the reference to Dr. T'Soni. The information broker was currently on the same planet, but since the implode of her relationship with Shepard, the crew had visited the planet multiple times with no interaction with the asari. To Miranda's slightly guilt, Illium was probably be the last place Shepard wanted to be after a taxing mission.

"Have you used EDI to track her omni tool? She may have some vitals info too, if you want to see if she's okay." Jack offers and Miranda nods, her cheeks reddening slightly as she chastises herself mentally for not using EDI in the first place. If Jack notices Miranda's embarrassment at not remembering that resource, she strangely does not comment, and leaps to her feet, her small frame making a light noise as she does.

"C'mon." Jack says with a cool voice, though Miranda can tell by the biotic's slight urgency that she is worried. "Can you get that information on your omni from here? Or in your office?"

"In my office, I didn't want y….. the entire crew to have access to all of EDI's information." Miranda says, cringing at her near slip of tongue. She is not lucky enough for Jack to have not caught the implications, and the biotic crosses her arms, her eyes filling with fire the concern had edged out.

"All right Cerberus. We go there then. Not the entire crew, just you and me." Jack says with a cruel smirk, daring Miranda to admit the reason she had locked down EDI's programming for the crew was because of her distrust of the criminal.

Miranda meets the criminal's eyes, considering the challenge, and relents. She did not have time to battle Jack in the bulkhead with the Commander possibly in danger.

"Do you really want to help me with this Jack?"

"Damn straight Cheerleader. And don't for a second think this is a favor to make sure the Illusive Man doesn't fuck your test tube manufactured ass when you lose his investment. This is for Shepard."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (his is shaping up to be a longer story than originally intended, wrote a ton more to it and I like where it's going so I'm going to roll with it. Back to Shepard/Liara next chapter my friends. Should be quick updates until the story completes)

The elevator ride to the Crew Quarters is uncomfortable at best, both women trying to make as little acknowledgement of the other as possible in the thirty second ride. The moment the doors slide open, Jack leaps out like a caged animal, taking only one step before pausing to let Miranda's even steps overtake her as she conceded to being led to the operative's office. The level is quiet for the most part, the only noise coming from the turian now sitting at the mess table, his talons tapping the table as he scrolls through his datapad.

"Hello Miranda and….Jack?" Garrus says evenly, though his slight surprise at seeing the two women together doesn't escape either of them. With a slight smirk, Garrus sets down his datapad, turning in his chair to get a good view of the both of them as they walked briskly towards Miranda's quarters.

"Now ladies, play nice in there alright? I don't want to have to call Shepard and ask her to replace our mess hall. Or, either of our best biotics."

Miranda doesn't respond to the turian's comment, keeping her attention only on reaching the safety of her quarters. As the silver door opened with a hiss, Miranda quickly passed into the room, not bothering to pay a look behind her shoulder to see if Jack had followed her pace. The operative took her place at the desk in the center of the room, sliding into the seat while the tattooed woman took a cautious step into the room.

"It's not a trap Jack. Don't look so frightened to be in here." Miranda remarked as she began to tap her fingers against the bright orange displays before her.

Jack chuckled and crossed her arms, standing inside the room but intentionally close to the door.

"I'm not frightened cheerleader. I just don't want to get too close to the cushy bed. Not sure if being a spoiled brat is contagious or not."

Miranda rolled her eyes but did not give Jack the satisfaction of a reaction. With a few commands, a newly colored page filled her displays, Miranda's personal link to EDI's information.

"EDI, I need you to link to Shepard's omni-tool and give me her location and a vitals report." Miranda commanded, raising her own omni-tool to the display.

"Right away Ms. Lawson, searching now." EDI's electronic voice answered almost instantly to Miranda's relief.

"Now my my what is this?" Jack teased, taking a few steps forward to place herself beside the operative's desk, facing the small mess Miranda had created in her fit of frustration previously. With one fluid movement Miranda could not stop, Jack had lifted the broken glass across the room to where she stood, the broken fragments levitating before her face though the blue liquid oozing from the shards dripped to the floor freely.

"This smells like Ryncol, do you drink Ryncol Miranda?" Jack said, the pure glee in her voice infuriating Miranda.

"I would never partake in Ryncol, Jack. I, unlike others in this crew, have daily work to do. I wouldn't jeopardize my effectiveness with such a poison. This is a dextro-species gin." Miranda growls, hoping her face didn't reveal her embarrassment at Jack finding her moment of weakness.

"Well excuse the fuck out of me." Jack chuckles, spinning the glass again. "You must be an angry drunk huh Cheerleader? Throwing glasses against the wall like a regular on Omega."

"Do NOT overstep Jack. You have no idea what I go through, and yes, maybe sometimes I need a dosing of alcohol to relax at the end of my day. And today was a rough day in case you forgot what we witnessed."

In an instant, Jack had slammed the remnants of the glass into the wall and was standing behind Miranda's desk, her hands gripping the operative's uniform at the collar as she lifted Miranda to her feet.

"Are you fucking kidding me…"

"Jack. Put me down."

"NO." Jack practically screamed into the officer's face, her nostrils flaring with rage as she looked into the eyes of the slightly frightened operative.

"Explain to me."

"Explain what…."

"Explain to me how today was such a FUCKING rough day for you cheerleader." Jack spat in Miranda's face, her chest heaving as the criminal took quick, menacing breaths.

"TELL ME."

Miranda was speechless for a moment, the sudden rage in the other woman taking her by surprise. Her mind raced as she quickly tried to come up with any explanation that Jack could possibly understand about her past and how much she needed Cerberus, but having Jack this close was an intoxicant, her thoughts slowing at the biotic's touch.

"You're not the only one who has had a challenging life Jack." Miranda spat, her anger returning as she watched Jack scoff at the suggestion. "No. Do not fucking discount what I have been through criminal." Miranda states menacingly, finally earning a shocked look from the other woman. Using the moment of lowered guard to her advantage, Miranda ripped Jack's hands from her body and pushed her forward, taking a step into Jack's space with a sudden confidence both of them were clearly not expecting.

"You're not the only one who grew up an experiment Jack. It killed me to see David treated like that, like another goddamn experiment." Jack narrowed her eyes at the statement, and straightened her back to square up to the biotic standing in her face.

"If it kills you so much to see people treated like fucking experiments then why the fuck are you so loyal to the goddamn man FUCKING DOING THAT TO PEOPLE." Jack screams, and Miranda winces, the slight letting the criminal know she had hit a soft spot, and she intended to drive her point into it.

"I got your number on fucking Pragia Cheerleader. You didn't give a shit about what I went through, you spent the entire time trying to convince Shep and me that I was wrong about the fucking psychopaths who abused me. What if I stood here and told you it wasn't your father, not really, and that you should fucking GET OVER people supporting him? Huh Cheerleader? What the fuck would you do then? Hell, I fucking saw you today. You didn't say anything, not a damn word about your precious Cerberus on that disgusting station. The Illusive man himself was the reason they took what they took that research so far as to ruin a person Miranda. And you're so busy trying to suck his dick you'll ignore every goddamn person that piece of shit breaks."

A silence fell on the two, the only sound to be heard their labored breathing as adrenaline surged through both women.

"You don't understand Jack." Miranda says softly and Jack shakes her head in disbelief, her eyes menacing as she took in the operative's continued resolve.

"Are you kidding…"

"Listen. Jack." Miranda states, her voice dangerously level. "Cerberus may have been your torture, but it was my rescuer from mine. And yes, some days, I can't face the reality that the organization that has given me protection and a new life is capable of such horrors, but I cannot allow myself to believe there is more good in my employer than evil."

"Yeah...fat chance…"

"JACK FUCKING LISTEN." Miranda screamed, pushing Jack to the back of her room with a blue flash. The back of the biotic's knees collided with the operative's bed and Jack fell back onto it, her entire body shaking with fury even though she was unharmed. Miranda didn't let Jack take the moment to interrupt and stepped forward to grab the criminal by the collar attached to the top of the thin straps preserving what modesty the criminal had. The officer held herself over Jack, swallowing the fear her rational mind told her to heed as she clutched the dangerous woman.

"I know. I fucking know Cerberus was responsible for what happened today Jack. I know. But I don't know what to do with that yet. Pragia wasn't fucking Cerberus, and I have to tell myself that because I think I would need more than a glass of gin to sleep at night if the truth was that I am giving my everything to an organization who caused what happened to you. I know you want to think I don't care just because I don't see Pragia as a Cerberus operation, but if I could have blown that place to hell before it fucking touched you, I would in a second. But I can't. I can't do anything to help you Jack, but I can tell you I know what it fucking feels like to be an experiment too, and you'd be pretty goddamn loyal to anyone who would've brought you out of that place too."

Miranda half-expected the tattooed woman to snap her neck after her outburst. To envelop her body in a biotic field and violently throw her like a ragdoll into the wall of her own quarters. Yet, moments passed, and Miranda did not leave her place above the biotic. Jack still held on her forearms, keeping her back from touching the bed as if she would really would catch something from laying back. Miranda still held above her, with her knees on either side of the small woman planted on the bed for a good hold of the criminal.

In the silence, Miranda became uncomfortably aware of their position, and how if she had managed to find herself in this position with anyone else, it would likely end in a much more pleasurable way than this discussion with Jack was going to end. Jack seemed equally as affected, her mouth hanging open slightly as she looked up at Miranda, deep in a thought process the operative could not hope to decipher. Miranda could feel her cheeks heating, yet she found herself frozen, dangerously still as she tried to find her next move in her thoughts, her mind refusing her pleas for an escape.

"Ms. Lawson, I have located Commander Shepard. However, there is an abnormality in the Commander's pulse rate, suggesting a lack of consciousness at the moment. It is unclear if this state is from natural causes."

As EDI finished her message, Miranda released Jack, taking slow steps backward and straightening her uniform before turning and answering her terminal.

"Thank you EDI." Miranda said softly, listening to the faint creak of the mattress as Jack stood behind her.

"Ms. Lawson, I have detected an abnormality in your heart rate. Shall I send Dr. Chakwas to review your status as well?"

Miranda's hand shot to mute her console, refusing to turn around and face any reaction Jack would have.

"No EDI, I am fine. That will be all, please forward Shepard's position to my omni-tool, and EDI?"

"Yes Ms. Lawson?"

"Please do not alert the other crew of this. Any of this."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told y'all I'd keep the updates quick;) enjoy! Liara's POV next

_What the fuck is that noise…_

Shepard winced as she lifted her head from the thin sheet spread on the couch underneath her, her neck straining from the activity as if gravity had intensified to hold the spectre’s body from motion. A low beeping noise sounded again from somewhere in the soldier’s earshot, barely audible in an average situation, but to the commander’s pounding head, the noise was piercing. Involuntarily, the spectre let out a low groan as she surveyed her environment. Her vision was blurry, the objects around her a variety of colors and shapes the soldier couldn’t seem to force into focus. This wasn’t the first time the commander had opened her eyes to an unfamiliar environment, the soldier often found herself in difficult situations that sometimes involved waking up in the hands of the enemy or in a clinic closest to the battlefield. And, despite her experience with the unexpected, the commander loathed waking up confused, knowing that with enemies like the ones she had earned, confusion could be her death.

Taking a deep breath, Shepard lowered her head, deciding to narrow her eyes and feign unconsciousness as much as she could while her vision returned. To Shepard’s relief, her sight returned in just under a minute, the blurriness clearing to the edges of her vision and then completely as the seconds passed.

_This doesn’t look like a prison…_

Shepard mused, taking in the view before her. The soldier, to her surprise, was not laying on the floor of a horrid prison or warehouse, but a luxury couch covered with a thin blue sheet. Another blanket was bunched at the spectre’s feet, and an ottoman was pushed close to the couch, a thin water bottle atop the small piece of furniture. Shepard scowled, it was definitely an apartment, and she didn’t know what the fuck she would be doing in an apartment.

_How did I get here…._

 To her dismay, the soldier has no idea. Trying to remember makes her head throb more, as if her brain was trying to tell her she didn’t want to know what had happened in the last twelve hours. Her last clear memory involves a bar stool, and a smart ass asari handing her another drink she now regrets taking.

_I stopped drinking like that. God fucking dammit Shepard!_

The spectre practically screams at herself internally. It was true, the Alliance soldier has spent a lot of her early Alliance service with a headache as brutal as the one she had now, but the N7 program had been a punch to the face for the soldier in realizing how self-destructive her behavior had been. And with a new purpose and rank, she had stopped drinking. For a while at least. Though, not being one for denial, the commander was frighteningly aware that her drinking had started to escalate again as pain from the suicide mission and rejection from her old colleagues had mounted. The only comfort the soldier had was that she had yet to blackout from the alcohol and risk her life as she used to so carelessly. But coming to terms with her lack of memory, the soldier's comfort was gone.

_How’s a mess like me supposed to bring a team back from a suicide mission…_

As Shepard began to feel a wave of disgust for herself enter her mind, she felt another comforting presence, probing softly at her halestorm of thoughts with calming feelings. In panic, Shepard quickly blocked the presence, her throbbing mind making it hard to discern much about it other than it was a foreign presence close to her mind, and yet, other than her mind. As the soldier pushed out the other feelings, she heard a small noise, soft yet very close to her, and it startled the spectre considerably. In a panic, Shepard sat up, not quite prepared for another being to complicate her morning confusion further, though the soldier's back immediately rejected her sudden movement. A web of pain shot through the commander's muscles, and Shepard stifled a groan and paused for just a moment. The soldier taking a deep breaths in an attempt to ignore her body’s annoyance with her decision to not heed Ms. Karin Chakwas’ directions the night before. 

Scanning around in an attempt to isolate the source of the other noise, the soldier is disappointed. There is not another being in sight, and the room is empty besides two other couches, one piled high with a mess of blankets, and a few decorative plants. Standing gingerly, the soldier bounces on her legs for a moment, allowing feeling to return to her tingling feet, and quietly steps away from her resting place from the night. Though a part of Shepard wanted to run for the front door, get as far away from the mysterious place and make a date with her bed in the Normandy, the spectre sensed there was more to her being taken to this place, and if nothing else, she wanted answers to why someone had been probing at her mind.

Assuming combat position, Shepard stalks out of the room, her hand drifting to her side for her weapon only to find she had not brought one. The soldier cursed herself. It had not been the worst idea in the galaxy to dress as a civilian when going to the bar to avoid detection. The vanguard commander had some of the most impressive biotic skills in the Alliance and could defend herself without a sidearm. However, low on eezo and severely dehydrated, the soldier wondered how effective she really could be if combat was necessary. Deciding to exercise even more caution to avoid finding out the answer to the question of her biotic effectiveness, the soldier stalks forward slowly, passing a small office nook hidden behind the staircase, lit only by orange monitors flashing streams of information the soldier couldn’t quite make out from so far away. Another beep sounds, a bit louder this time, alerting the spectre to the source of the noise that had reverberated off her skull since she had awoken. As she began to edge towards the office and the noise, the soldier detected motion out of the corner of her eye, the large pile of blankets on one couch moving slightly, causing the commander to pivot on her feet, facing the couch as if it could attack her. As the soldier stands motionless for several seconds, the couch does not move again, prompting Shepard to edge towards it, resolving to find whatever it was before it found her.

Moving only on the balls of her feet, any combatant would struggle to hear the vanguard approach, and she crosses the room in only a few seconds, absolutely silent. Upon closer inspection, the blankets are less a pile, and more a wrapping, folded around a presence the spectre can hardly make out. Only a square of blue skin peeks out from below a corner of one of the comforters. Calling her biotics to charge, the spectre’s body begins to glow blue, preparing the commander to attack any unwelcome presence, but as her hand gently guides the fold away to reveal the other apartment occupant, Shepard’s biotics fizzle away in an instant as she is faced with the last person in the galaxy she was ready to interact with, Liara T’Soni.

The soldier takes a step back in shock, tears flooding to her eyes though she refuses to let them fall, embarrassed at the effect just the sight of the other woman had on her.

_Why...why am I in Liara’s apartment…_

Since reuniting with the asari, however sour their interactions had been, the soldier had longed to be with Liara, on the Normandy or wherever the asari had made her home in the spectre’s absence. However, her throbbing head and only memory from the night before paralyzed the soldier with fear, thousands of negative intoxicated scenarios playing through her mind, all trying to explain how the spectre could have possibly ended up on her ex-lover’s couch for the night.

_God, I hope I didn’t get drunk and find her. Who knows what I would have said to her..._

Shepard could not help but fear what an inebriated version of herself could have possibly said to the asari. Though the soldier was not an angry drunk, her frustration with the information broker's inability to talk to her could very likely have bubbled to a head after the commander’s horrible day yesterday, and Shepard desperately hoped she hadn’t been cruel to the asari. Or worse, done something to ruin any chance of a friendship.

Leaning forward to peer over her ex-lover’s face once more, a small smile crosses the spectre’s features, starkly contrasting the tears filling her eyes. She can't help but smile as she looks at the peaceful asari, the sight almost causing her to forget all the questions racing through her mind. The soldier starts to scold herself for the reaction, frustrated by the fact that just seeing the asari seemed to solidify the commander would never be able to look into that blue face and not view anything other than the woman she loved. The soldier is only broken out of her frustrated thoughts by an observation, one that pierces the soldier’s heart on sight. There are drying tears on the asari’s face, streams that even though thin, don’t belong there in the spectre’s book. Like a punch to the chest, the soldier is breathless with pain, realizing her presence could very well have caused those tears.

_Why did she bring me here, I always make her cry._

Shepard shakes her head, disappointed with herself for everything. For the mission, for her death, for deciding it was a good fucking idea to get drunk in Nos Astra, so close to the asari.

_Was she at the bar?_

Shepard questions herself, desperately searching her memory for any fragments of the asari. 

_I don’t think so...the only asari were Aethyta and that….oh God._

Nausea hits the soldier like a concussive blast as another segment of her night returns to her. Another asari had invited Shepard to join her in the back room, and the spectre had accepted the invitation. _Holy shit holy shit what did I do..._ Shepard screams internally, grabbing the sides of her head and letting out a quiet curse. If Liara had been in the bar to find her so intoxicated, had she found her in a compromising position with another asari? _That could explain the tears….God I didn’t want to sleep with her, I was so spaced, why did I get so spaced?!_

Shepard continued to internally berate herself, convinced that if she had been anywhere but Liara’s home she would be punching something to escape the mental pain. The Commander was not in any way deluded into thinking Liara was still in love with her, but there had been something there, a trace of affection and care that hadn’t faded, only shown to the spectre in the raw kiss the asari had planted on the soldier upon first glance on Illium. That small trace of affection was what kept the spectre going through her everyday life, though from the tears on her love’s face, she knew that trace had been detonated like a land mind, leaving nothing but hurt.

_I should go, I can’t keep hurting her._

Shepard decides solemnly, tucking the blankets closer around the asari as she remembered the scientist preferred, her head screaming at her to kiss the asari goodbye and yet she can’t, she won't do that to Liara. When satisfied the asari would be comfortable, the spectre turns on her heel to leave. As she begins to make her way to the front door, trying to keep focused only on her escape and not the asari behind her she wanted to hold until the tears dried, the alert on the terminal catches her attention again. Though the beep had consistently sounded, this time the soldier notices an alert message spreading across the screen, stopping Shepard in her tracks. With a sigh, she jogs over to the terminal, deciding only to look because if the asari was in imminent danger and the soldier had left without a second glance at the warning that could have saved her, she could never forgive herself.

Leaning over the terminal, the spectre’s eyes narrow as she see the keyword the asari had tagged for alert. Shepard.

 _Oh goddammit…_ Shepard sighs. So Liara had been monitoring information about her, even going so far as to create an alert when another broker was auctioning information about the soldier. _So she does...well DID still think about me…_

Peering over her shoulder to make sure the asari had not crept up behind her, the soldier decides to open the information, confident she had enough credits in her own personal chit to use as payment for whatever information had leaked on Illium about the spectre. Especially if it involved any information about the soldier’s previous night. 

With a click on the alert, the beeping stops, and an auction page opens, the information broker selling the information tagged "Shepard" fielding offers from various agents in a messaging interface. Scrolling to the last message sent, Shepard releases a long sigh. _Why did I expect anything to go right today_...

The information was clearly about Shepard’s current location, the broker had been boasting in the messages that he had camera sources from several locations on the current planet on which the spectre was located. Though Shepard felt a pinge of dread from the statement, wondering what footage of her night the broker had secured, the message that truly unsettled her was just below it. The information had been sold, to a buyer who only identified by an ID number belonging to a system defined by the messenger's unidentified employer.

 _Wait a minute...I know those numbers..._ Shepard leaned forward and tapped her omni tool, her own Cerberus ID number flashing across the screen as the soldier called for it. Both numbers were similar in structure, CD the prefix for the identification of both. _So Cerberus bought it….or someone from Cerberus…_ With a few taps on her tool, Shepard accesses the Cerberus database, flipping through pages hurriedly until she found the one she required at the moment, the employee identification database. With a glance at the other terminal, the soldier punches in the number, results displaying instantly on the tool. The information takes the soldier's breath like a punch to the gut.

The number belonged to Dr. Gavin Archer, chief scientist, Project Overlord.

In a moment the spectre’s heartbeat begins to race, and she’s back in the lab.

 

_Staring, just staring at Archer’s brother as he hung from the skin piercing machines, tears streaming down his face as the tendrils of a machine arm hold his eyes open._

_“Shepard!” David cries, his sobs choking his words. “Help…”_

_The soldier leaps into action, bounding towards the terminal on the far side of the room she hopes has the power of releasing him, but she doesn’t make it there. Dr. Archer grabs the soldier, pinning her against the wall and though the spectre knows she should be able to easily overpower the scientist, she is unable._  

_“Let me go you’re killing him!” Shepard screams, and Archer flashes the commander a smirk._

_“You don’t know that Shepard….you should only know that we need him. Millions will die if he does not stay here Commander, David is our path to controlling the geth, without him those machines will take many lives, as they have tried to take yours.”_

_“NO!” Shepard screams, and she attempts to drive her omni tool into the scientist’s neck, the scientist managing to evade with barely a motion, the soldier failing miserably._

_“Don’t struggle so much Commander, I’m not the one who put him here. You are.”_

_“That’s a lie!” Shepard shrieks, finally throwing the scientist to the ground. And before Shepard can restrain herself, she’s beating the man, fist after fist brutally colliding with the scientist. When the scientist grows motionless, the soldier finally stops, her breath fast as she struggles to find any semblance of calm, her entire body shaking above the still scientist._  

_“It’s a lie…” She sobs, looking at her blood stained fists. And with an eerie, slow motion, Archer’s head lifts from the ground, spitting blood at the soldier as he speaks._

_“Cerberus did this Commander….and you’re Cerberus now.”_

 

Shepard snaps out of her flashback with a sob, crumpling to the ground as her body gives way. Tears are streaming down the spectre’s face though she doesn’t allow herself to make a sound, unwilling to wake the asari that didn’t deserve the burden of comforting the monster of a soldier who had invaded her home. Taking a deep breath, the soldier wills herself to her feet, nausea once again attacking her as she stands. _Oh God….I’m really going to puke this time…._

Swiftly moving out of the office, Shepard peers past the staircase for a bathroom and only sees a kitchen, so immaculate the spectre couldn’t imagine touching even the waste can. Praying she might survive the trek that seemed her only other option, the soldier jogs up the winding stairs, to her relief locating the bathroom moments after reaching the landing.

Shepard barely has a moment to shut the door before she’s hanging her head in the toilet, shaking as her nausea leaves her body.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry in advance, it's gonna get more complicated before it gets better. I promise a happy ending though! Didn't want the story to be boring and too simple)

_Buzzzzzzzz_

“By the goddess…” Liara murmurs, digging deeper into the cocoon of blankets she had formed around herself on the couch. The mind of the semi-unconscious asari barely registers the sound of her apartment doorbell, and it isn’t until it sounds again that the asari’s eyes flutter open. Though part of the asari was tempted to believe the night before, and Shepard being in her apartment, was only a confusing dream, the rumpled sheet on the couch adjacent to her dismissed any doubt that it had been reality.

“Shepard?” The asari calls out timidly, worry seizing her thin body at the sight of the empty couch. Untangling herself from the blankets, Liara steps into action, taking deep breaths to control her mind from unnecessary panic in the event the soldier had just travelled to the kitchen or bathroom. The asari relaxes slightly as she notices the soldier’s leather N7 jacket is still beside the couch, right where Liara had laid it last night when the soldier had started to overheat in her sleep. Shepard did not value many things, but she had an affinity for that jacket and wouldn’t leave it behind, a likely sign that she had not gone far. Without a moment to agonize over what she would possibly say to a now conscious Shepard, worry propels the broker to the kitchen with quick steps.

“Really Shepard….” Liara says in exasperation as she inspects the commander-less kitchen. A part of her had been hoping to see the soldier leaning against one of the cabinets, a glass of water in her strong hands and a sheepish smirk on her flushed face like she was just a young soldier caught nursing a hangover at her lover’s house. A twinge of annoyance catches her, and Liara realizes she is partially bothered Shepard is not there taking care of herself. Though the asari wanted to deny it at times, she was irrevocably in love with the often injured commander. But, she would never enjoy the soldier’s negligence towards her own well-being, and few things gave her as much frustration as those moments when the spectre seemed to go out of her way to avoid prioritizing her own body. A lecture begins to build on the tip of the broker’s tongue, though she dismisses it quickly with a deep sigh. As tempting as it was to give the soldier a piece of her mind for not fetching herself water and resting this morning, the events of the previous night had showed Liara the soldier was in need of serious care, not frustration. And she intended to give it to the soldier who deserved more love and understanding than she ever received.   

As she turns on her heel to search for the spectre elsewhere in the apartment, her door buzzer sounds again, followed by several loud impatient knocks. “Shepard?” Liara questions, a worry piercing her heart telling her that maybe the soldier had woken up adjacent to her ex-love and fled, the position of her jacket by the couch only because the spectre had forgotten it in her hurry to get away from the woman that had broken her heart. Rushing to the VI panel beside her door, the asari taps a button to call the video feed of her front step to fill the small black screen.

To the broker’s disappointment, her beloved soldier had not wound up on her front door somehow, but two currently unwelcome guests had. The first guest the asari knew only by reputation, her likeness and deeds having built a dangerous dossier in the information trade. Even with hundreds of fragments of information concerning the biotic, the truth of the woman’s past remained a unclear mess as twisted as the tattoos on the her body. Subject Zero was a dangerous woman, and in Liara’s opinion, a convict deserving of the time she had been sentenced to for the lives she had ended in cold blood without a second thought. Zero was a ruthless killer, that now stood on her doorstep.

Liara frowns at the sight, a bad feeling teasing at her mind. She was a _very_ good information broker, yet her pursuit of information relating to Feron must have caused her to overlook news of Subject Zero’s release from Purgatory. However, no matter the circumstances of Zero’s release, Zero’s accompanying partner fully baffled the asari. Subject Zero was a known enemy to Cerberus, and not known for rescuing commanders, only eliminating them. And Liara strongly doubted the other woman was with Zero to assassinate her company’s investment, or in any way sabotage the employer to which she held such a strong attachment. 

Miranda Lawson was no stranger to the asari, the two had held a professional relationship in the rescuing of her love’s body, but the operative was not esteemed for her patience, and at the moment, the irritation on her face was clear. Liara sighs, she should have had the foresight to predict Lawson, Shepard’s new XO, would come after the commander once she discovered her absence. The commander’s job was a nonstop stream of missions, and she was likely already required in her armor on some dangerous planet or lab, an entire company of well armed soldiers firing on her.

The asari scowls. In a selfish sense, she was not about to let them take Shepard from her so soon when the previous night had made it clear the pair had quite the talk ahead of them, a talk that had already been prolonged for far too long. Aside from that, and more importantly, she would not allow them to take her commander to duty just yet when the soldier was so clearly unfit for battle, and in need of a day of rest before the entire galaxy attempted to kill her again.

Liara considers opening the door and explaining the situation to her former colleague, but her face heats as she remembers the last time she came into contact with Miranda. The operative had witnessed the entire brutal exchange between the commander and her asari in the broker’s office, and discussing Shepard with her in any context after, well, _that discussion_ , was not something the asari was rushing to experience. Besides, the commander was a private woman, and if she wished to explain to the operative the situation in its entirety, Liara should leave her the freedom to do so.

The information broker taps a button to the side of her door VI panel, a voice recognition panel lighting up below the screen, ready for the asari’s order.

“Please let our visitors know I am unavailable for the day. And please relay my contact information to Ms. Lawson’s omni-tool should she have further questions. Make sure the operative is aware this is my home.”

“Certainly Dr. T’Soni.” The device chirps, and Liara turns away, satisfied the situation was in hand for the moment. Miranda was very astute, and would likely understand Liara’s dismissal was a plea for some time with the spectre. As she begins to turn away again, the sound of the upstairs lavatory flushing causes a wave of relief in the asari.

“Thank the goddess, she’s here.” With a small smile, the asari begins to track towards the staircase. If the soldier was still struggling to rid herself of the alcohol in the lavatory, the least she could do was offer to hold her hair back. As her hand touches the railway, her door VI chirps again.

“Dr. T’Soni, I have been asked to relay a message. Your guest says ‘If this door does not open in the next minute, she will expletive blow this door open.’ Would you like me to relay a response?”

Liara quickly turns back to the door. From the censorship in the message, it had not come from the more reasonable of the pair, and she was not in the mood for a convict to damage her home.

“Please tell them I will just be a moment.” Liara orders as she strides to her kitchen, locating a robe on one of the table chairs she had discarded there while studying in her little nook the other day. Wrapping the robe around her thin nightgown to preserve a bit of modesty, the asari steps in front of the door, commanding it with a press of a button to open to her guests.

“Ms. Lawson.” Liara greets, ignoring the way the convict’s eyes scan her body in the unprofessional attire. Miranda notices as well, and gives her companion a look of pure malice that the tattooed woman ignores.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I...believe you know why we’re here Doctor.” Miranda starts, looking past Liara as if Shepard would be standing right behind her. “Our common…. acquaintance has gone missing. And the ship’s AI traced her omni-tool to this location.”

Liara bristles as Miranda refers to Shepard as an acquaintance of the asari, harshly aware of the implication that the operative was well aware the relationship between them was so strained, they could hardly be called friends. 

“I assume  you are referring to the Commander...she is a grown woman with agency Ms. Lawson, is there a reason she is being recalled to duty in such an urgent fashion?”

“She is not being recalled to duty. The Normandy has a small window of shore leave on Illium for repairs.” Miranda states, and Liara relaxes a bit, clearly relieved the soldier was not being corralled for a mission.

“If she is not required for duty, I believe the detail of shore leave allows the commander a bit of freedom to navigate the planet without being tracked by her colleagues…” 

Liara starts, and Miranda’s eyes narrow, clearly unamused by the asari’s dismissal of the two.

“We are not here to babysit an independent soldier Doctor.” Miranda replies, her tone cutting the tense air. “EDI...the same AI informed me that Shepard’s vital measures were unusual. She was injured in the mission yesterday, so I believe it is a priority to check on her medical status. Is there something we should know about that status broker?”

If Miranda is expecting Liara’s eyes to reveal any semblance of what she knows about the spectre’s disappearing act, she is disappointed. The asari keeps a straight composure, her eyes revealing nothing. 

“I do not take you as a fool Ms. Lawson, and I will not try to trick you and say the commander is not here. I will however ask you to trust that the soldier is in stable condition, besides a bit of veisalgia. You above all on your ship should know the extent to which I will protect Shepard’s health executive officer Lawson. Now, I must maintain you leave here. I….don’t usually have such a personal request, but Shepard and I really need to have a discussion before you take her, maybe you could come by later in the afternoon? I’m sure Shepard can call you….”

Jack, who had been standing by looking fairly disinterested in the conversation, snaps to attention at the asari’s words. Taking a menacing step forward, the biotic faces the asari.

“That’s not good enough you blue slut.”

“Jack…” Miranda starts, reaching out to position herself between the two but the biotic pushes her away, stepping even closer to the stone-faced asari.

“NO. Is that fucking good enough for you Miranda?” Jack sneers, dramatically dragging her eyes over Liara again. “You should’ve put more clothes on before you opened the door. Maybe if you had, I’d believe your story whore. NOTHING you’ve said has convinced me you’re not just another asari whore trying to get a quick fuck in with the famous hero of the citadel while she’s vulnerable….”

“JACK NO.” Miranda interjects, grabbing the biotic’s shoulder in an attempt to pull her back from the now seething asari. “Jack you don’t understand, this is Doctor Liara T’Soni not a random….”

“You’re one to talk Subject Zero.” Liara spits, her voice filled with such malice, Miranda could hardly believe it was coming from the usually soft spoken asari. The broker’s body is shaking with rage, her frame lit by a blue energy as her anger became biotic energy. “I know more about you than you realize you WORTHLESS criminal. You’re an experiment gone wrong, a Cerberus mistake always convincing yourself you had it worse than anyone else at your facility. Just so you can justify being a cold blooded killer because ‘the world never gave you any mercy’ when on Pragia, you were the only one given any mercy!”

Miranda tightens her grip on Jack as she lunges at the asari, the force of her charge against Miranda’s hold nearly snapping both of the operative’s wrists.

“Jack!”

“Shut up you Cerberus bitch!” Jack snaps, her nostrils flaring as she rounds on Liara. “Maybe I know more about you than YOU fucking realize T’Soni. Maybe I don’t know where the fuck you came from, but I know you who you are to my fucking friend. I know you dropped her like any typical asari slut, leaving her just because her fucking mission to save millions of lives wouldn’t let her stay on Illium and fill your azure while you followed some petty revenge plot.”

“That’s not….” Liara started, her eyes finally betraying pain as Jack’s words cut her.

“True? The fuck it isn’t T’Soni! If I don’t know what I’m talking about, then fucking tell me, is Shepard more important than your goddamn pathetic mission, or are you just trying to keep us from taking her so you can hurt her again… do you fucking get off on hurting her?!”

“My mission is not…” Liara trails away, her eyes brimming with tears as she took a shaky breath. “I…”

“Not what?! Not more fucking important than Shepard?! Then fucking say it. Say you’d throw your petty grudge away for her, or you don’t deserve her.” Jack snaps, pausing her fight to get out of Miranda’s arms as she waited for Liara’s answer.  
  
The asari doesn’t answer for several moments, her silent sobs barely audible in the silence.

“I….can’t abandon my mission. Shepard…..she….she…. would understand if she knew….”

“I do understand.” The three whirl around to the source of the voice, the commander. Standing atop the stairs with an expression none of them can read.

Miranda quickly releases Jack at the sight, straightening her composure. It is clear the operative is embarrassed for her superior officer to have seen the entire out of control exchange that Miranda hadn’t had a prayer of de-escalating.

“Shepard.” Liara murmurs breathlessly, relief surging through her at the sight of her love conscious again. Shifting nervously, the asari wonders how long the commander had been standing there. 

The soldier is hunched slightly from her injured back, her eyes still a bit bloodshot from the night before, and yet she looks powerful from where she stands. Her eyes soften a little at the sight of Liara visibly so upset, and then harden again, betraying her feelings at the asari’s last answer.

Nobody moves as the Commander descends the stairs, the only sound Shepard’s heavy footsteps as she strides past Liara and grabs the convict harshly, lifting Jack into the air.

“I understand that you care about me Jack. I do. But you do NOT ever speak like that again to Liara. Do I make myself clear?” Shepard states, her voice level, though strained as if she was struggling to hold herself back from tearing apart the biotic. Even though her friend had only been trying to protect her, Shepard had never been skilled at keeping calm when Liara was threatened.

“She doesn’t fucking care about you Shep…”

“Am I clear!” Shepard exclaims, shoving the convict into the nearest wall for emphasis. Miranda flinches when Jack hits the wall, her face laced with concern as she watched for the tattooed woman’s response.

“Shepard….I do not think that was warranted…” Miranda starts but Jack cuts her off, shaking Shepard’s hands off of her.

“You got it ...Commander.” Jack drawls bitterly, turning away from the soldier. “But don’t come down to engineering to use me to drink away memories of that blue slut anymore.” Jack snarls, and both Liara and Miranda tense, misinterpreting the statement and the relationship between the two. Shepard nods silently, not noticing the other two reactions to Jack’s words, and turns to Liara.

The second she sets her eyes on Liara, Shepard’s entire demeanor changes, the confident spectre rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

“Shepard, I…” Liara begins to explain, and the soldier shakes her head, wincing as if hearing the asari’s voice was painful. It kills the asari seeing any pain cross the spectre’s face, and the look silences her instantly.

“Don’t Liara. I don’t know how I ended up here, but I’m sorry. And you don’t have to explain anything. I know how you feel about your mission. It’s okay.” Shepard says, her strong voice faltering at the end of her short speech. “I should go.”

Shepard brushes past Miranda and Jack without waiting for Liara’s response.


	12. Chapter 12

 In a sign of respect, Miranda turns her eyes away from the asari, whose tears were now falling freely as the spectre departs. Shepard wastes no time hailing a cab, and she doesn’t look back as her taxi pulls away from the landing.

“Come on Jack we’re done here.” The operative states, taking the other woman by the arm and guiding her away from the asari’s doorway. Despite Miranda’s own feelings on Shepard and Liara’s distracting relationship, the information broker was a strong ally and had served Cerberus well during her career. She deserved privacy in the wake of what had just happened. And, a smaller audience to her embarrassing emotional response.

Keeping her eyes forward as they walk away, Miranda only glances back when she hears the hiss of Liara’s apartment door closing, just to affirm the asari was really gone. Taking a deep breath, the operative exhales harshly, her shoulders releasing a tension she didn’t realize had been building there during the conflict. Jack isn’t looking at the operative, purposely avoiding her glances like an animal who was very well aware when it had done wrong.

Miranda considers leaving it alone. She could pretend like she hadn’t noticed that the convict’s reaction to Liara had been starkly out of line. She could pretend that crossing that line was not a clear indication something else was going on in the other woman’s complicated mind. Miranda was not close to Jack, and could not be held responsible for her mental health. And yet, the operative didn’t want to just leave it alone.

Miranda chastises herself. Getting involved in Jack’s mental health was like stepping onto the pressure plate of a mine. Any wrong step could cause the other woman to blow. And yet, she wanted to take that chance. She had seen a very raw side of the convict in her quarters a few hours ago, the other woman revealing very real wounds under her tattoos. And though Jack had been out of line, Liara and Shepard had also been emotionally driven and harsh. They could have very well scratched those wounds open again.

_She could probably use someone on her side right now._

“Jack…” Miranda starts, rubbing the back of her neck nervously as she faced the convict. “I….you went too far.” _Goddammit Lawson, that is not the way to get her to open up on this topic._

If Jack is annoyed by Miranda’s statement, she doesn’t display it. The convict’s eyes are devoid of emotion as she faces the other woman, a look that catches the operative off guard. Though she had seen Jack’s eyes hold a myriad of emotions (typically anger) she had never seen the other woman’s eyes look blank. The convict held her heart on her sleeve, and her displeasure with every situation was always piercing in her eyes. 

“I um, what I meant was….shit.” Miranda curses under her breath. _Why was it so hard to talk to this woman when they weren’t screaming?_

“I’m trying to say I don’t care that you went too far Jack.”

Jack cocks an eyebrow at the statement, and a flash of anger crosses her eyes. The longer the convict stays silent, the more dangerous she seems. Miranda takes a shaky breath, swallowing back her fear as she continues.

“You….you got too involved. You accused Dr. T’Soni of being a harlot, and I know she said inexcusable things to you, but you went too far as well. Why….why did you get involved Jack? It’s not like you to step into someone else’s personal altercations...I thought you supposedly didn’t care about anyone but yourself….”

“That’s not true.” Jack snaps, but the convict keeps her voice low, as if she is too exhausted from screaming at the information broker to scream now. “Well, maybe it is true. I think, shit I don’t know.”

Jack’s eyes trail to the ground, and for a moment, the convict looks lost. The tattooed woman had survived the impossible her entire life by learning to look out for only herself. It was not easy being confronted with the possibility that she could not do that any longer, and her turmoil washes onto her face, embarrassingly visible to the other woman. Jack shakes her head violently, as if she could physically shake the dilemma of whether or not to allow herself to accept she cared about the Normandy.

“Why do you give a fuck if I care or not cheerleader?” Jack growls, her eyes slightly red as she looks into Miranda’s.

“Are you frightened that if I start to care, you’ll be the only heartless bitch left on the Normandy?”

“What?” The operative exclaims, frustration beginning to boil inside of her. She assumed it was a defense mechanism driving Jack to shift the conversation to someone other than herself, but that knowledge didn’t make the shift any less frustrating.

“Don’t defend yourself you Cerberus bitch. I don’t think you’re interested in why I stepped in for my benefit. I don’t think you care if there’s something else going on here for me. I think you’re trying to figure out if you have any fucking excuse for not getting involved. We left the fucking ship to find Shepard because you supposedly care about her, and then you let that bitch defend what she does to Shepard!”

“Jack. I have known Dr. T’Soni longer than you know she….”

“Ohhhhh I see. Did you fuck her too? Is that why you didn’t defend me back there? You didn’t want that asari’s azure on lockdown?”

“You are crossing a line Jack. You are not to make assumptions about my sexual or romantic history and I don’t think you understand how the doctor feels about Shepard. I strongly doubt she has a romantic or for that matter, sexual interest in another.” Miranda retorts, her voice raising in frustration. “Though I disapprove of the relationship due to the distraction it provides, there wouldn’t be a Commander without Liara. Doctor T’Soni rescued Shepard’s body for Cerberus to resurrect her, I do not hate the broker, and I respect what she has done for us and for Shepard.”

Miranda half expects the information to shock Jack, to cause her to regret her words accusing Liara of nothing but a passing interest in the infatuated spectre. Instead, Jack cackles, a long humorless laugh that unnerves the Cerberus agent.

“She’s the one responsible for Shepard being Cerberus’ slave? Wow oh boy you’re right cheerleader, I trust her now.” The convict drawls sarcastically, infuriating Miranda.

“Do you really wish Shepard was dead than with us?!” Miranda cries, not caring that she is the only one screaming in their conversation. The convict had sufficiently crawled under her skin.

“You know what Zero, I don’t think you care that I didn’t defend the Commander. I’ve shown time and time again I’m willing to risk my life for Shepard. I think you’re offended I didn’t defend you.” Miranda hisses, appreciating the furious look that crosses Jack’s face. Miranda knows she is being immature, trying to press the convict where it hurts so that she would be as frustrated as the operative was.

“I think you realize that you aren’t as self-sufficient as you pride yourself on being, you want others to help you. And by the way Jack, I may not have shouted at T’Soni, but that was only because I was trying to keep you from injuring her. I defended you to the Commander…”

“DON’T FUCKING SAY YOU DEFENDED ME.” Jack bursts, suddenly inches from the operative’s face. The convict is shaking with rage, blue wisps surrounding her body. “Don’t give yourself so much credit you BITCH! I don’t care if you defend me or if you die in front of me. The only reason we’re talking about what you did back there, is because you tried to trick me into thinking you might be a little like me today. One minute you’re pinning me to your bed telling me you know what it’s like to be an experiment, the next minute a blue bitch is calling me a fucked up experiment and you don’t fucking care! Are you trying to get in my pants and use me to knock off some stress cheerleader? Is that why you’re trying to sympathize with me? Or are you having trouble sleeping at night, and you need to convince yourself you’ve suffered as much as I did just to justify what you do for Cerberus!”

Miranda expects herself to be seething from Jack’s words, but the second the convict stops speaking, her eyes redden further, tears of frustration and hurt threatening to spill out of them. The operative softens at the sight. The situation had clearly hurt the biotic, and Miranda suddenly felt a need to comfort the woman, to take away her pain in some way.

“Jack I...I am not trying to use you.” Miranda says softly, turning her attention to the ground, no longer able to meet the other woman’s eyes. “I am deeply sorry for touching you during our confrontation. I...I know you have a history of….I didn’t mean to do anything that would make you think that. I wasn’t lying to you Jack, I think...I think we may understand more about each other than we realize.”

Jack doesn’t respond, and Miranda takes a deep breath before she continues.

“When you said...when you said Shepard comes down to engineering to um, ‘drink away memories of that blue slut,’ did you mean…”

“I meant we drink together and she gets drunk and emotional and cries about everything in the damn ship that reminds her of Liara.” Jack states simply, her eyes narrowing at the question. “I’m not having sex with Shepard so she can use me to forget that asari whore. Shepard would never use me like that. She’s my….friend.” Jack says, her voice straining on the word “friend” as if she had never used the term before.

Miranda nods, strangely relieved to hear Jack was not involved intimately with the Commander. Quickly blocking further thoughts on the matter, Miranda forces herself not to analyze why she’s so relieved. She had a feeling the answer would be complicated.

“I….I’m glad. I mean, not glad, I don’t care...that would just... be inappropriate. Of Shepard. And as the ship’s operating officer it would mean a lot of paperwork on my end.” Miranda defends, cringing at how lame her statement sounds aloud. Jack scoffs and shakes her head, the hurt never leaving her eyes.

“Nobody here is accusing you of caring Miranda. I believe you don’t care. About what Cerberus does, about Pragia, about Shepard, or about me.” Jack says softly, and her soft, pained tone cuts the operative. 

“Jack…”

“Don’t.” Jack states, turning away from the operative, the convict straining to pretend the situation hadn’t caused her carefully built walls to crumble at the edges. “I don’t care where you’re going now, but take a different fucking cab.”

With that, the convict storms away, carefully keeping her face from being visible to the other woman as she does. Miranda watches her go silently, suddenly overwhelmed at Jack’s accusation that she did not care about the other woman. _For being so fucking “perfect”, you can’t even express that you care. Maybe this is why you’re alone in this world._

 A tear slips out of the operative’s eyes, and she quickly dabs at it, unwillingly to allow herself to succumb to a weak display of emotion. Miranda takes several deep breaths and forces herself not to think about Jack. Then she calls a cab to go back to the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my brief hiatus, I had someone very close to me pass away over the holidays. It has taken me a bit to get back into the things I enjoy including writing, but feeling confident I'll be back for a while now <3


	13. Chapter 13

Though Shepard hadn’t been this nauseous since Wrex had explained Krogan mating rituals in detail to Grunt, the soldier was uninterested in going back to her quarters quite yet. 

“Nos Astra Marketplace.” The soldier barks at the turian cab driver as she settles into the backseat, taking deep breaths to still herself. The driver nods slowly and lifts off without a word, clearly picking up on Shepard’s less than friendly mood. Instead of striking up a conversation, his claws punch the destination into the brightly lit navigation immediately. 

Running a hand through her matted red hair, Shepard peeks into the rearview display at her reflection. Though a disciplined warrior like the Commander was taught to never wear their emotions, the soldier looked how she currently felt. Her face was paler than normal, the deep purple bags under her eyes that had been pooling for weeks now stark against her skin. Her hair was tousled, and matted in places from sweat.

Leaning down, the soldier puts her face in her hands, a grunt of frustration escaping her. The morning had been a disaster, and though the Commander had intended on slipping away before she could cause Liara more pain, she hadn’t expected Jack and Miranda to come looking for her. And, she hadn’t expected tempers to flare as they did. 

Every soldier has an arsenal of reactions that are triggered by instinct. In the heat of battle, the Commander’s muscles often worked with no thought involved. Her body moved in a dance of pure instinct choreographed to keep the soldier alive. However, even when thought was not involved, Shepard was well acquainted with her instant reactions, and often knew how her body would react to a situation before it did. She didn’t predict her body would react the way that it did when Jack confronted Liara. 

The soldier cringes as she remembers the smaller biotic’s hurt face when Shepard had slammed her tattooed frame into the wall. Jack had been taken off guard by the move, clearly not expecting her companion to react as harshly as she did, and the soldier now regretted the violent move against her friend.  _ Good job Shep, she was just starting to trust you.  _

The Commander could not deny she had been deeply offended by what Jack had said to Liara. If the soldier could redo those few minutes again, she would still have confronted the other biotic. Defending the asari was Shepard’s most core instinct, and it was not one the soldier could turn off at will. However, as the leader of the mission and Jack’s companion, her reaction had been misplaced. Even Miranda had called her out of line, and Miranda had once nearly warped Jack into the bulkhead.

The vehicle begins to slow, and through the windows the Commander is greeted with the familiar bustling sight of Nos Astra’s many shops. The marketplace is buzzing with activity, a low roar of the sound of many species milling about audible even in the sealed cab. 

Steeling herself, Shepard pushes away further memory of the fight. She had something she needed to do, and if she kept reflecting on her fight with Jack, she would eventually move on to reflecting on what Liara had said at the end of the confrontation about her mission. And the soldier didn’t believe she was capable of facing her feelings on that just yet.

The cab comes to a stop in a lot on the edge of the marketplace, and the soldier gives her driver a few credits as tip for the peaceful ride. The moment the cab departs the platform, the soldier begins to tap on her omni-tool, satisfied there was no one in the immediate vicinity to hear her.

“EDI?” Shepard calls into her tool. The Commander waits less than six seconds before EDI’s circular form projects from her tool.

“Yes Commander?” 

“I need you to do me a favor and find a terminal where I can access camera feeds from the night club Eternity from the last 24 hours.” Shepard barks, thankful EDI wasn’t one to ask too many questions about why she required the records. 

“Certainly.” EDI replies, her projection disappearing for a moment as the AI searches for the information. 

Though it only takes EDI a minute to reappear, the seconds feel agonizingly long for the spectre. From the moment she had recognized Archer as the customer to information about her last night, the soldier had been on edge. It was relatively harmless for the scientist to know where the Commander had been if his plan was to enact revenge on her alone. The soldier’s ship and crew traveled planets so often their enemies struggle to lock onto them. The danger that made the woman’s stomach turn, was the possibility that Liara had been in that footage aiding the spectre. Shepard could handle her actions putting a target on her armored back, but she would not put the asari in more danger than she managed to find herself.

“Commander..” EDI’s voice shakes the soldier from her thoughts.

“Did you find something?” Shepard questions earnestly, silently begging the AI to work faster. 

“Yes. There is a terminal 200 yards your current position that would suffice. However, it is my recommendation you use an alternate terminal...there is one 600 yards from your position, that has less individuals in close proximity.”

“Send me the coordinates. Thank you EDI.”

“You’re welcome Commander, did Ms. Lawson complete her objective to locate you? The officer had inquired about your vital report and location.”

_ So that’s how she found me. _

“Yes she did EDI, please keep my location cloaked from the crew until further notice. And honor no requests on information about me until I return to the ship.”

“As you wish Commander.”

With a low blip, EDI’s form once again disappears. Trailing her fingers over the display of her omni-tool, a map appears to the coordinates EDI has sent. The soldier scans it, then puts away her tool. Being seen following a map would definitely arouse suspicion. Striding forward, the Commander trails toward the console, keeping pace with a crowd of market-goers until she can break away to the dimly lit corner where the terminal lie.

There are a few crowds milling about near the area, but none directly by the console as EDI had stated. The soldier leans on the wall next to it, scanning the eclectic faces of the crowd to see if anyone had given the ragged woman departing the crowds a second glance. To Shepard’s relief, the many beings seem more concerned about who was next in line to purchase at Sirta than what she was doing in a corner of the market.

After a few minutes of scanning to be completely confident no one was watching, the soldier drops to her knee by the console, connecting her omni-tool to the hard drive of the device. The device has a relatively straightforward firewall, and the soldier hacks past it within a minute, tapping rapidly on her omni-tool as she deciphers the code flow.

As the terminal provides the spectre access, a log of videos fills the screen, each time-dated seventeen minutes apart. Scrolling through the entries, Shepard locates a folder of video files from Eternity, silently hoping that whoever had hacked the video files for sale had not erased the copy from the drive. 

Each video is distinguished a small thumbnail shot of the content and a timestamp, the entries littering the screen as the Eternity folder opens. The spectre exhales in frustration as she realizes just how many videos there are from Eternity’s many cameras over the past few days of footage. 

“EDI?”

“Yes Commander?”

“I need your help with a terminal I’m hacking. I don’t have a lot of time so I can’t run through these videos myself. Please isolate the footage from 21:00 hours last night to 03:00 hours this morning.”

“Right away Shepard.”

After a few moments, the mess of thumbnails thins to a page of neatly ordered vids. Scrolling through the thumbnails, the soldier pauses when she recognizes her own bright red hair in a shot of the bar. A few taps cause the video to play, and Shepard frowns as she watches a scantily clad purple asari approach her own figure, swaying on a barstool. Increasing the playback speed, the figures move in an animate fashion, her poor choices flying before the soldier’s eyes. Another wave of nausea hits the spectre as she watches herself to stumble towards the Eternity private rooms, the other asari in tow slightly after.

_ Great way to deal with your shit Shepard. You’re acting like a horny recruit who doesn’t know how to deal with a damn battle or a breakup. _

Resisting the urge to punch the wall next to the terminal in frustration, the soldier taps on her omni-tool, taking deep breaths once more in an attempt to focus on her mission and not her mistakes being replayed as a film.

“EDI? Are the cameras in the main lobby of the bar the only ones in the club? I need to see the inside of the private rooms in Eternity if possible.”

A low whir sounds as EDI scans the terminal again, a blue flash from the omni-tool signifying when she finishes her scan. 

“There is no alternate footage Commander. Eternity is only fitted with three cameras, all in the central lobby.”

“Understood. Thanks EDI.”

Part of the Commander is relieved by the update, knowing all too well that a soldier as infamous as herself caught in a compromising position on footage could become a galactic scandal if treated by the wrong people. However, another part of her is disappointed. Though she was not sure if her mental health could take seeing herself actually make a mistake with some random asari from a bar, she would now never know for sure if she slept with the asari or not. And part of the soldier desperately wanted to find she had not, and Liara had not caught her in the act with another woman.

Increasing playback speed again and returning to the initial footage, the bar patrons dance around the room in hyperspeed fashion. The bartender mixes two drinks, one in the glass Shepard had been using, and the soldier pauses the footage as she catches the asari pour a suspicious packet into that glass instead of one of the horrific liquors from the bar well. 

“EDI zoom in on that asari’s hand, the one behind the bar in the center of the frame.”

A moment later, Aethyta’s dark purple hand fills the screen and Shepard sighs in relief as she immediately recognizes the packet. It’s a nutrient solvent, typically given to soldiers and commandos to cleanse and recharge the organs and immune system of a soldier that has been poisoned. In the Alliance, it was sometimes used to clean up a recruit that had engaged in bottle therapy before a mission, and Shepard was no stranger to the solution after Akuze.

_ Now where did she get military grade nutrient supplements… _

Though the spectre’s interest is peaked by the supplement, she decides to gloss over how Aethyta had procured the solution. Aethyta was a well connected bartender, and it would not surprise the spectre if a military companion of the asari had given her a few of the packets as first aid in the case of a particularly dangerous alcohol overdose. 

_ Great, even one of the roughest bartenders in the galaxy saw the need to give me an intense nutrient supplement just in case...how spaced was I? _

Resolving to make an express trip to thank the bartender for likely keeping her breathing through the night, the soldier returns to the footage before she can wallow in shame over having needed the bartender to play medic for her broken down self. The footage is incredibly boring for a few minutes. Different species mill in and out of the bar while the group of Alliance marines that had been eyeing Shepard during her stint at the bar each try their hands at dancing only to look about as foolish as the Commander herself on the dance floor. 

Aethyta manages her bar in typical fashion for the gruff asari, either making drinks or coming close to throwing them at patrons as she barks at the few rowdier ones to leave. A vorcha tries to reach over the bar at one point to grab a cherry out of a jar on Aethyta’s garnish tray, and the asari has his wrist almost instantly, an ear piercing noise falling out of the vorcha.

Eventually, Aethyta disappears from the bar to meander towards the private rooms. She has only left the bar for what Shepard estimates to be less than a minute when a sight causes the soldier’s body to clench.  _ Liara. _

The information broker turns a few heads when she enters the bar, but she does not linger, striding purposefully towards the private rooms. In her rushed steps the soldier can practically feel the asari’s anxiety, and though the spectre knows it’s too late, all she wants to do is run into the picture and lead Liara away from her destination, before she sees the soldier’s mistake.

A scream cuts through the audio, and though it is relatively inaudible over the Thessia synth pop playing in the bar, Shepard could isolate Liara’s scream in a planet of noise. Unable to restrain herself, Shepard unleashes a cross to the wall beside the terminal, the metal slightly denting under the soldier’s fist. 

_ She screamed. She literally screamed. Oh god what did she see me doing… _

The soldier is about to unleash another blow on the wall as if taking it out on her own fist could curb her own crushing anger towards herself when EDI appears on her omni-tool display. 

“Commander. Enacting structural damage near the terminal has caught the attention of some individuals in the proximity. I suggest you finish your business with the terminal quietly and with haste.”

Shepard doesn’t respond, another wave of anger at herself crashing into her mind as she realizes she is making yet another mistake. The spectre resumes the feed quietly, and for a few minutes neither the spectre or the information broker are visible. This time, Shepard numbs herself as she watches, utilizing her military training to empty her thoughts as she monitors the screen. The soldier didn’t think she would be capable of continuing to watch if she didn’t. 

Soon after, both Aethyta and Liara return to the main lobby, carrying the soldier’s clearly unconscious form. Her thick red hair is strewn over her face in a lame attempt to hide her identity, which would likely fool many of the bar patrons but not anyone previously watching the security feed. Shame begins to seep into the soldier’s stomach like acid and she quickly chokes it down, taking a deep breath to keep her emotions from interfering with what clearly needed to be done now that it was clear that if anyone had footage of the soldier’s previous night, Liara was in it. 

“EDI, I need you to get me a log of any other individuals that have accessed this footage. Now.”

“Right away Commander.”

As EDI scans the files of the terminal once again, the soldier busies herself from her thoughts by surveying the crowds around her once more. EDI had been correct, a few individuals were now clearly keeping an eye on the spectre after her outburst their eyes flitting over to the woman’s position periodically. Most concerning was a volus with his eyes squarely trained on the Commander, speaking into his comm a series of hushed words the spectre couldn’t quite make out.

“EDI I need it now.”

“I have it Commander. The information broker Barla Von most recently accessed this terminal. The footage has not been reviewed by any other individual, and unusually, not even the Eternity nightclub security.”

“Delete all Eternity footage from the time frame I had requested before they do. Barla Von has office on the Citadel, does he have any network points or offices on Illium? I need to track where he sent vital information now.”

“One moment Commander….yes. Barla Von does have a branch office of his financial advising business on Illium. Sending the coordinates to your omni-tool now.” 

“On my way. Thank you EDI.”


	14. Chapter 14

“A Thessian Temple please.”

“Neat or on the rocks?” The turian bartender barely looks up from the glass he is currently cleaning when the asari orders, his talons working carefully under a polishing cloth to clean away a stubborn ring of color near the top of the glass.

“Um…” Liara hesitates, a bit confused by the lingo. Though an asari of her age should be comfortable in a bar, or at the very least, comfortable ordering a drink, the scientist felt out of place. She very rarely partook in alcohol during her archeological career, finding the hobby to be detrimental for the scientists that did partake in excessive drinking. During her time serving the Normandy crew, she did spend a night or two in bars when the crew had shore leave, but Shepard would usually round up the entire lot of them and lead them to some eclectic loud bar without listening to argument. The Commander believed nights bonding over lowered inhibitions to be constructive, and Liara trusted her leadership. And for many of the crew, Shepard usually picking up the tab was reason enough for them to go out to drink. Liara was well aware the soldier was not wealthy, but she was not one to be persuaded from taking care of her crew.

Liara remembers the first night the entire crew had followed Shepard to a bar with a wistful sigh. _Goddess, had she been this uncomfortable then?_  


 

_“Volus binas for everyone!” Wrex had announced, cackling viciously as the rest of the squad besides Liara immediately feigned gagging._

_The moment the small band of misfits had walked in the door, Wrex and Garrus had beelined for the bar as if it was a mission and drinks were their target to apprehend. Garrus only paused for a moment on his way for Shepard to shove her credit chit in his claws, her cheerful voice telling him to start a Normandy tab. Ashley had said something about trying to talk to an attractive marine with over-sized muscles and a faux-hawk, which had prompted a chorus of laughter from the Commander who immediately started leading Ashley to where he sat, saying something about being the perfect “wing-man.” As Shepard disappeared, Liara awkwardly followed Tali to a table, and while Tali perused the menu making snarky comments about each beverage on the menu being less interesting than those the flotilla offered, Liara looked about for the disappeared Commander, feeling quite lost. She didn’t feel in place until she felt a pair of strong hands cover her shoulders, a charming soldier kneeling next to her with a smirk on her face._

_“What can I get you beautiful?” Shepard had asked with a playful glint in her bright green eyes. The moment her eyes caught Shepard’s, Liara’s fears had melted away, and she managed a smirk to meet the Commander’s._

_“Something that won’t make me look like Wrex in the morning.” She says shyly, and the spectre falls into a beautiful laugh, the joy on her face making her look quite younger, as if she was just a recruit enjoying a shore leave with friends. No Reapers and not a care in the galaxy._

_“You got it.” Shepard remarks, jogging off towards the bar to catch up with Wrex and Garrus. The soldier elbows her way to the front, and somehow gets served before her companions, prompting Wrex to howl about how he was much prettier than the Commander, and deserved the bartender’s attention first._

_Shepard pays no mind and returns quickly, setting a tall glass containing a sparkling blue liquid into the asari’s hands._

_“It’s a Thessian Temple, not too strong. But still, drink slow my love, I can’t imagine you have much of a tolerance.”_

_Liara rolls her eyes and takes a large drink, grinning at the taste._

_“I like it.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah.” Liara replies, a smile overtaking her face as she looks at the soldier. “Thank you Shepard.”_

_The soldier sits back in her chair, pleased with herself thoroughly, and begins sipping her own drink._

_“What did you get?” Liara inquires, and the soldier only responds with a sheepish grin._

_“Certainly not a Volus Bina.”_

 

Liara is shaken from her memory by the bartender’s gruff voice. He has set his glass down, and is standing against the bar, watching her with his arms crossed.

“Neat or on the rocks lady I don’t have all day.”

“Get out of her Thrug your shift ended five minutes ago. I’ll take care of her.” Aethyta remarks, the purple asari stepping behind the bar, a small bag with her effects slung over her shoulder.

Thrug nods and taps on the purchasing kiosk, checking himself out while Aethyta places her bag under the bar and steps before Liara.

“I’m surprised to see you all alone kid.” Aethyta remarks, a thin line of concern wrinkling her forehead for only a moment. “I thought you and your spec….soldier friend would be inside each other right about now. Or at least, beside each other.”

Liara cringes, and Aethyta seems to catch the message that her comment hadn’t come at the most appropriate time. Turning to the only other patron at the bar, a salarian nursing a virgin Mindfish drink, the asari unceremoniously knocks his drink off the bar counter.

“Beat it. I need this seat.”

The salarian mutters something about terrible service and how he would be sending a very stern worded email to the manager of the establishment, but a glare from Aethyta causes him to practically dash out of the bar.

“All right, now that it’s a little more private, why don’t you tell me what happened. Let’s not use her name, there’s cameras everywhere on this damn planet. And, by the way…” Aethyta lowers her voice, leaning in to the other asari. “I took care of the bitch we left here last night. Also tried to delete the footage of everything from the cameras, but it was already gone by the time I got to it.”

Liara nods, making a mental note to use her resources later to find out who had wiped that footage. In all likelihood, it had probably been one of Shepard’s many loyal crewmembers or the soldier herself, but it couldn’t hurt to be sure.

“Now c’mon kid out with it. What happened?”

Liara takes a deep, shaky breath, and Aethyta takes her nervousness as cue to make her a drink while she speaks, deciding staring at the asari would probably make her story even tougher to tell.

“We….didn’t get a chance to talk. Shep….um...she slept through the night, she is...safe...thank you. But...before we could talk this morning, her second in command and another from her ship came to find her. They had noticed her vital signs were unusual. I...her crewmate and I got into an...altercation….about my intentions with her. The Commander she…..she only caught me admitting I can not abandon my mission to be with her. That is, a very...contested...point in our current separation.”

Aethyta nodded, taking in what the other asari had said while she poured a spirit into a tall glass.

“The Commander can’t abandon her mission to be with you either. She can’t expect you to do what she can’t.”

“It’s….different.” Liara admitted, looking down at her feet. “Shep...she can’t abandon her mission. The fate of humanity depends on her work. My mission….is personal. Vengeance based. She had hoped when she came back I would open up to her at the very least….but after what I have been through while she was gone….it’s not the same. She can’t fix everything and I have to do this.”

Aethyta nods, placing the sparkling drink in front of the other asari. Picking up the liquor bottle she has just used, she sets to wiping it down starting with the pour spout, doing her best to listen without pressuring the young asari.

“Does she know why you want revenge on this...other being?” Aethyta asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“No….she doesn’t.” Liara admits breathlessly. “I have told her...little. Except for the fact that a dear friend of mine was taken and likely killed by the one I’m going after.”

“Were you bumping uglies involved with this friend?”

“No!” Liara shrieks, and Aethyta puts her hands up in surrender.

“All right all right don’t freak out just asking a question. Does Shepard know you weren’t doing any bonding with this friend you’re so obsessed with?”

Liara frowns, the implication that Shepard could be threatened by Feron never having occurred to her. The Commander was very passionate, but not insecure. The asari couldn’t exactly picture the soldier being the jealous type though very few beings had made a pass at her while the very formidable soldier had been her lover.

“No….I don’t think she would think I was involved with him. She knew I am not a very scandalous asari.”

Aethyta chuckles at the implication and sets down the bottle she has thoroughly cleaned, turning her attention to programming the flickering specials board behind the bar. The turian clearly hadn’t updated it, and the board still boasted the specials and date from the day before.

“Maybe not, but have you acknowledged your relationship with her at all to the kid since she came back? Confusion can make any rational person start to speculate the most fucking incredible theories about why things aren’t working out. If she didn’t know you still wanted her, she probably spent some time thinking about what changed.”

Liara sighs, taking the other asari’s words to heart. Shepard had been incredibly hurt in her office because the soldier had felt like the information broker hadn’t acknowledged her as a lover since her return. Only as a hacker and a tool to be used according to the spectre.

“I….you’re probably right.” Liara says softly. Aethyta immediately stops tinkering with the message board when she does, leaving the board half programmed, the bright lights boasting an incomplete special of _Weeping Heart, A Drell Spirit from C_

“Hey, no long faces. It’s a simple fix sweetheart. Tell the kid how you feel.”

Liara scoffs, looking at Aethyta incredulously.

“It is not that simple! There are….missions...it’s been two years….this is much more complex than just telling the Commander I love her!”

“Goddess, sometimes you have to let things just be easy.” Aethyta says simply, rolling her eyes at her daughter. “I think she can cope with the two of you being on different planets for a while, if she knows you’ll give her the time of day when she comes back from the whole goddamn galaxy trying to blow her head off. And if last night was any sign, I think you’re very interested in her coming back with a head for you.”

Liara blushes, and reaches for her drink. She takes a careful sip from the glass, and makes a sour face as the liquid reaches her tongue.

“I pour heavy. Let me guess, you take your drinks a lot of juice and a little alcohol huh?”

Aethyta chuckles and reaches for the drink to mix a new one, but Liara quickly grabs the base of the glass.

“It’s fine really. Thank you.”

“Suit yourself.” Aethyta says with a smirk, turning her attention to a woman walking up to sit beside Liara at the bar.

“Move it along bodysuit. I’m currently not making drinks.”

“That’s fine I’m...not here for a drink. I’m here to talk to Doctor T’Soni.”

Liara turns on her stool at the mention of her name, shocked to see Miranda Lawson for the second time today. Miranda looks equally uncomfortable as Liara in the bar, her jaw set as she glares at a marine near the dance floor who is giving her an extensive look over.

“What is this about?” Liara questions carefully, still feeling defensive after their interaction this morning.

“Shepard.” Miranda states, and Aethyta immediately shushes her.

“Careful with that name sweetheart, there are cameras all over this joint.”

“I’m...sorry.” Miranda says softly, her voice slightly strained, causing Liara to take a second glance at the woman. In the information broker’s memory of the other woman, Miranda Lawson was none other than the epitome of confidence. Miranda entered every room as if she owned it, and had a way of carrying herself like she was well aware she was genetically better than everyone around her. The woman currently in front of Liara is holding herself so starkly different, the asari almost considers accusing her to be an imposter. The operative’s arms are crossed instead of at her hips, and her eyes are slightly puffy and red on the edges. It is clear something is deeply wrong, and worry pierces the asari’s mind as she remembers Miranda had mentioned Shepard.

“What do you need Ms. Lawson? Is it about her? Is she okay?”

Miranda frowns, and looks away from the earnest asari.

“I don’t know...that’s why I came to you. She never returned to the ship and missed her follow up appointment to assess her combat injuries with Dr. Chakwas this evening. I initially intended on just tracking her down using the ship’s linked AI, but our…. friend had commanded it to hide her location until further notice. Which is why I think she’s doing something dangerous she doesn’t want me to know about. Which, would be a completely immature choice as she is already injured, left all her weapons on the ship, and has no backup.” The operative states bitterly. Clearly Shepard’s disappearance was adding to an already sour mood.

“Could she just be in need of a little alone time?” Liara questions hesitantly, part of her desperately hoping her love was not in fact chasing a dangerous lead alone on Illium just to get some alone time from drama within her crew.

“It would be unlike her. Even when she needs space she doesn’t miss required appointments with our medical staff for frivolous reasons. Her cybernetics are still relatively new to combat application and she understands medical upkeep is crucial for keeping them running properly.”

“Yes, you’re right…”Liara admits, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“Ah-hem.” Aethyta interrupts, snapping both women to attention. “This isn’t the place for a public brainstorming session if you’re trying to figure out where she went. I’ll unlock one of the private rooms for you two, they don’t have cameras. Let me know if either of you needs a shot to kickstart the juices flowing. Or maybe to loosen either of you up a little.”

Both Liara and Miranda huff under their breath at the same time, causing the asari bartender to chuckle. Rifling through a drawer of key chits under her desk, the asari selects one and leads the pair into a private room off the side of the main lobby.

“Come get me if you need anything, or whatever.” Aethyta says to Liara, her face betraying her concern for a moment before she returns to her usual obnoxious composure and returns back to the bar to shout at a stumbling volus.

“Shut the door.” Miranda states, and takes a seat on the couch in the small room. The operative raises her arm, bringing her omni-tool HUD to life.

“I’ve scoured my leads on Illium, there isn’t a great deal of pertinent activity here that I can imagine Shepard feeling required to investigate.” Miranda says, running a hand through her hair and taking a deep breath, trying to keep her composure.

“Are you all right Ms. Lawson?” Liara questions, closing the door and sitting on the couch beside the operative. “I am sure Shepard will be fine...there is something else...isn’t there?”

Miranda silently scolds herself for being so obviously distraught over her earlier confrontation with that damned tattooed woman who had managed to crawl into her mind.

“I’m fine...I’m sorry. You’re obviously more….perceptive than most so I won’t try to lie to you Dr. T’Soni. I am distraught over something else but the Commander is the priority. I won’t let my personal conflicts interrupt finding her.”

Liara nods, deciding to drop the subject to respect Miranda’s clear discomfort with the topic.

“I’ve been...distracted today, so I have not kept current on my information feeds. I’ll see if there’s anything there that can help direct us to Shepard.”

Accessing her own omni tool, the asari brings to life several HUD screens. Selecting her main information stream, the broker accesses her bookmarked topics, clicking on the topic highlighted “SHEPARD.”

There are no new messages in the folder to the asari’s disappointment. However, the top message still manages to catch her keen eye for abnormalities. The receipt time was around 06:00 hours, a time when she had been nestled into her own couch, keeping watch over Shepard. The message was not highlighted though, indicating it had been read on her terminal or omni-tool sometime after its receipt.

Selecting it, a completed auction page appears. Liara scans the description of the sold information, her breath hitching in her chest as she does. Miranda, watching the asari closely as she scans through her feeds, frowns at the slight gasp.

“What is it? Has anyone seen her?”

“I….honestly don’t know what this could mean.” Liara admits, turning her tool so the operative could join her in surveying the page.

“Someone sold footage from camera sources on Illium that reveal Shepard’s location.” Liara starts, but she is cut off by the other woman fiercely tapping on her own omni-tool.

“I know those numbers...the buyer.” Miranda stated, her tone even. “Those identification numbers belong to a Cerberus employee. Either the Illusive man had someone buy the information to protect our investment, or someone within Cerberus has a dangerous interest in the Commander’s location.”

Liara nods, impatiently watching the operative’s fingers on her tool as she waited for the identity of their buyer. When the woman stops typing, her fingers glide on the screen of her tool, stopping on a page of scientists.

“You have got to be….I’m fucking done with this…” Miranda nearly cries, practically forcing her screen before Liara so the asari could see the name.

“Dr. Gavin Archer….”

At sight of the name, the asari immediately recalls what she had read just yesterday about Shepard’s most recent mission. The report on Overlord had been short, but implicative of a disturbing mess that the Commander had been forced to clean up. The only name that had been in the file was Dr. Archer’s, the architect of the VI and one of two survivors of the massacre. And as of the last message, the doctor still owed his employment to Cerberus.

“Do you know who he is?” Miranda asks, breaking Liara out of her memories. The operative’s voice is strained, close to breaking. _This Archer had an effect on Ms. Lawson as well…_

“I only know what came through on a vague report of the Commander’s mission involving project Overlord. I understand the mission was to shut down a rogue VI created by Dr. Gavin Archer’s science team. I was also informed the doctor was one of the two survivors your team found. He was rescued and sent for reassignment with the Illusive Man.” Miranda tears herself from the asari’s eyes as she finishes her summary, clasping her own hands tightly against her forehead.

  
“That’s...not what happened. Not really. There’s….a lot to what we saw there.”

Shyly, the asari reaches out and clasps Miranda’s shoulder. A meek attempt to comfort the other woman.

“It’s okay Miranda. I don’t need to know. I assume since Shepard recently saved Dr. Archer’s life, he is protecting her in buying the information?”

The Cerberus officer laughs dryly, shaking her head.

“I don’t believe the doctor has a lot of goodwill for Shepard. She barely let him walk out of there alive. Overlord….was a project designed to exploit the religious tendencies of the geth and allow for communication. Dr. Archer chased this objective by abusing his autistic brother beyond what you can imagine and fused his broken down mind to a VI to communicate with the geth. The rogue VI was just a scared brother trying to escape his torture. The Illusive Man...he was going to shut down the project if Archer didn’t produce results. Which eventually led to Archer’s disgusting decision to take his experimentation on his brother to the horrific level our squad witnessed. Shepard destroyed the data the experiment produced, and Archer...did not take it well. He sacrificed his soul and brother for that data, and she destroyed it. I can’t imagine he is looking to protect her.”

_Goddess Shepard…._

Liara sits in silence for a moment after the operative finishes. She can picture her love trudging painfully through a facility, surrounded by bodies she couldn’t save, only to find a sight of torture that would only take more sleep from the spectre. The thought is like a round to her heart, and she is overcome with the need to run to her soldier, to tell her none of what she could have seen was her fault. The asari takes a long sip from her glass before she responds.

“Is the doctor still working for Cerberus?” Miranda shakes her head, smoothing her hair and sitting up straight again.

“No. I have not received official confirmation, but in the wake of something like this, rogue Cerberus officials, even highly ranked scientists usually ‘disappear’ to upkeep our reputation.”

The operative tries to instill confidence in her statement, but she knows her sentence sounds forced at best. The usually faithful employee truly is not aware if Archer was considered rogue Cerberus, or if the Illusive Man had something else in mind for the unethical scientist. Archer had not turned against Cerberus by some definitions. He had done something unethical, but something unethical for Cerberus. A something that the Illusive Man did not condemn.

  
“So it is possible he has done something to Shepard.” Liara states breathlessly.

“Or, is it possible Shepard found out he was on Illium and went after him? EDI informed me Shepard requested her location not be shared with the crew herself. It could be because she didn’t want anyone to follow her on a dangerous bit of personal business.”  
  
Liara nods and suddenly puts her palm to her forehead.

“Goddess! I am being denser than usual. My emotions must be getting the best of me. Ms. Lawson, does Shepard have access to the same database you used to look up Dr. Archer’s identification number?”

Miranda nods, and the asari continues.

“The message containing the auction was marked already read by the time I opened it. It is possible Shepard saw the message on my private terminal in my apartment...she was up earlier than I was….and found Archer knew where she was?”

“That’s ...a decent hypothesis. I can use my security clearance in Cerberus records to identify if another employee accessed the same database searching for Archer’s number. If Shepard made the search, I say we conclude she went after Archer and put our efforts into tracking him. Then when we find him we find Shepard.”

Liara nods. Going after Archer was really all the two could do with their limited information. And, if the asari was lucky, she would have a chance to hurt a man that had clearly psychologically touched her love.

While Miranda taps away on her omni-tool searching for the access records of the Cerberus database, the asari rises, taking her half-full glass.

“I’m going to return this to Aethyta. If I don’t she I will be too tempted to sip on it and it now seems we will need our clarity more than ever.”

Miranda chuckles and nods.

  
“Shepard keeps everyone on their toes. It’s hard to stand on your toes inebriated, so I understand what you mean. However, just one drink might relax me in this hunt not remove my awareness. I….it regularly helps me when the mission research is overwhelming. Would you be a dear and bring me a gin and tonic if they have gin from Earth? If not, the special that drell drink didn’t sound repulsive.”

“Why Ms. Lawson I did not take you for an officer that has a drink with their paperwork.” Liara teases as she turns to leave on the errand. Miranda cracks a smile at the quip, but says nothing else, immediately once again immersing herself in her task.

Liara pads out of the private room and follows the narrow hallway containing the private rooms to the center of the bar once more. As the early hours of the night pass, more customers appear, and the dance floor and bar seem to have been suddenly overrun in the short passage of time.

Not paying too much mind to why the sudden rush of customers has occurred, blaming it on the evening turning into night, Liara frowns when she realizes how packed the small counter is now. Each bar stool holds a customer and some of the more pushy customers are weaving between bar stools to try and catch the bartender’s attention.

_Goddess...I don’t know bar protocol. Is there a line? Or somewhere to stand if I have not been helped and don’t wish to disturb anyone?_

Trying to catch Aethyta’s eye, Liara ventures closer to the bar. Weaving through the loud speaking patrons, once she finds herself close enough to see the other asari clearly in the mob of drinking and thirsty patrons, the sight is a bit...off.

Aethyta is not making any drinks or even holding a liquor bottle though the entire bar is clamoring for her attention and services. Two heavily armored men are standing on the left edge of her bar closest to the asari, each clearly trying to converse with the apathetic bartender who is giving each of them very little attention and instead focusing on the pad in her hands. Liara recognizes the pad as the programming device for the neon specials board Aethyta had been tinkering with earlier.

_Strange, why is Aethyta so focused on updating the specials with so many customers?_

Turning her attention to the message board, Liara’s eyes widen at the secret message clearly meant for her. The drell drink has been erased, and in its place are only three words, bright and flashing like a neon flare.

_Fly Little Wing._

Without a moment to waste, Liara begins to weave through the crowd to return to the operative unaware of the dangerous message in their private room. Keeping her head down, the asari carefully edges between patrons, using their bodies to keep her rapidly moving figure from the two men at the bar. When she finally makes her way to the slender hallway leading to the private rooms, the asari breaks into a sprint, practically throwing open the door to the room where Miranda had been left.

Miranda cocks an eyebrow when Liara enters, the asari’s wide eyes and quick breath immediately alarming the operative.

“What’s going on?” Miranda questions, leaping to her feet. The operative’s hand travels to her belt to cradle her sub-machine gun.

“I don’t know….I think Archer’s men are here. If Archer has footage of Shepard’s previous night I assume some of that footage takes place here. Some very well armored men are at the bar questioning Aethyta. She put a message on the board ….one only I would understand... telling us to leave.”

“Then let’s move.”

Miranda strides past Liara, taking point in the two woman formation.

“If they saw any footage from this location, they likely saw your face. You were here with Shepard correct?”

  
“Well, I wasn’t here with her per say. I saw she needed assistance from one of my camera feeds of the bar. I came to extract her.”

Miranda nods, though if Liara can clean anything from the questioning look the other woman shoots the asari, she is more than aware that is a simplification of the story. Liara is grateful the operative doesn’t have time to ask more questions.

“ If they’re working for Archer, they definitely saw your face. They’re probably looking for you if they’ve been unable to find the Commander. I doubt they’ve been briefed on my face, they’re likely just mercs for hire given a simple task to find individuals from a vid that I’m not in. Stay behind me and keep your head down.”

Miranda edges out into the hallway and strides towards the main lobby, the asari close on her heels. However, the moment the operative edges into the main room, she wraps her arm around Liara’s shoulders and pulls her into a side embrace.

“Sorry, when we stepped out those marines and some of the other slimy alcoholics were making eyes at us. It would be beneficial for our stealth if they think we’re on a girls night or ...you know...one of those things. Act busy talking to me.”

Miranda’s briefing is awkward, and Liara is slightly relieved her companion is just as uncomfortable with the night club scene. The operative, like the asari was not experienced in reckless social nights at bars, vastly preferring catching up on her responsibilities to being seen acting stupid in front of her colleagues. Though she did know at least know a thing or two about alcohol.

Clutching each other, the pair begins to travel for the door. The moment they begin to move together, less men in the bar pay them attention, and the asari is thankful Miranda’s idea seemed to be successful.

“Come this way…....SO…..any cute marines in your life right now?” Miranda says, raising her voice when she switches into their fake conversation. Liara follows her steps, allowing the other woman to guide her.

“I don’t believe so….doctor...Mir..Angela.” Liara stumbles out, resisting the urge to call the other woman by a more official title.

“Oh come on, what about that one training to be an N7? She’s...attractive. She has good….battle posture.”

Guiding the asari past a small gang of turians surrounding a table that is littered in empty glasses, Miranda sighs in relief as she realizes the last stretch to the door is relatively unguarded. Only a casually dressed turian swaying on his haunches is near the door, and his eyes are locked with the beverage in his glass.

“Let’s go. We’re clear let’s move.” As the two take fast steps towards the door, the swaying turian suddenly puts his arm out, grabbing Liara by the hips.

“Heyyy! I think I know who YOU are….” The turian slurs, stepping in front of the two women, positioning himself in the center of their side embrace.

“You’re Dr. Liara T’Soni.” The turian says his last statement with perfect clarity, the slurring suddenly gone. Before either can react the man has a gun in his hand, the barrel pressing into Liara’s side.

“Take it easy….”Miranda growls, drawing her own weapon and pressing it to the turian’s neck.

“I can blow you away just as simply.”

Before the turian can react, he is suddenly airborne, a blue energy surrounding his body as he is thrown headfirst into one of the bar’s many metal tables. Aethyta rushes to his place, her biotics still flaring from the energy she has just unleashed on the turian.

“Take cover! Fucking move!” Aethyta barks and the three women quickly scatter from a hail of gunfire as the two armored men that had been by the bar begin firing upon them. Aethyta topples a bar table and takes cover behind it, grabbing Liara by the shoulder and roughly forcing her down into cover beside her.

“Where did Miranda go?” Liara shrieks, trying to glimpse the other woman in the hail of gunfire and panicked patrons.

“Don’t know but she can take care of herself. We have bigger problems kid. Those three aren’t the only ones after you. Look!”

The asari can’t even count how many of the seemingly harmless bar patrons now hold weapons and are unleashing fire on their position. The only ones who didn’t seem to be a part of the ambush are the Alliance marines, who are all huddling behind a table, drunkenly sobbing about how they were going to die on shore leave of all things.

A merc in Liara’s right field of vision suddenly goes flying across the room, his companions in cover near the dance floor with him now clutching their chests as gunfire rips into them.

 _Miranda is all right then…._ Liara muses in relief, drawing her own pistol and firing at the group the operative has broken apart.

Aethyta immediately sets into a rhythm, tossing merc after merc into each other to try to disorient the pockets of soldiers focusing on the group of women. Liara tosses singularities at the furniture mercs are taking cover behind, allowing Miranda to take clear shots once the tables float away.

In a sickening moment that seems to slow down, Miranda’s scream pierces the sound of gunfire, jolting both asari to their feet. The operative is on the ground, a Krogan merc standing with one large foot on her chest and his shotgun aimed for the woman’s face. Before Liara can fire on him, Aethyta’s entire body becomes enveloped in biotic energy, and the asari flies across the room in a biotic charge aimed for the Krogan.

Liara holds her breath as she watches the moment unravel. The familiar strategy of a single powered biotic charge fills her gut with fear, reminding her of her own vanguard love and the many times Shepard would recklessly throw her body into a fray to protect her squad.

The moment Aethyta hits him, the Krogan is thrown back several feet. His plated head collides with the smaller asari’s, but instead of rendering the former commando unconscious, the Krogan himself seems to be struggling to stand up after the blow. Aethyta reaches out and grabs Miranda’s arm, tossing her to her feet before another merc can descend to the operative’s side. As she does however, a sickening noise of a shotgun round being unloaded into flesh is heard and the asari begins to sink to her knees.

“NO!” Liara shrieks, tossing a line of mercenaries out of her way as she scurries towards the other woman’s side. Miranda catches Aethyta as she sinks, her blood staining the operative’s white jumpsuit in a sickening splatter. The officer begins to extract medi-gel from her omni-tool, slapping a generous amount onto Aethyta’s injury before another merc smacks Miranda’s head with the butt of his rifle, knocking her to the floor and Aethyta from her arms.

Before Liara can reach them, another mercenary crashes into the asari, his armored form, pinning the small blue frame against an overturned table, a rifle locked on her head.

“STOP!” A mercenary’s commanding voice cuts the chaos, causing Liara to scan the area, desperately trying to see which one of the many well-armed soldiers was giving the orders. “Archer needs them alive to get to Shepard. Put a bullet in another one of them and I’ll put a bullet in you!”

The mercenary holding Liara lowers her to the ground, the barrel of his rifle square against her forehead.

  
“I have T’Soni!” He barks, chuckling at the crumpled asari on the bar floor.

  
Across the floor, another mercenary is holding a barely conscious Miranda up by the back of her jumpsuit, pushing her around like a trophy.

  
“And I have the other one!”


	15. Chapter 15

Blackness fills Aethyta’s vision, but instead of finding comfort in a moment of nothingness, the asari mentally thrashes against the feeling. Even with only a strain of consciousness, the asari’s mind races with a need to find her daughter. And those bastards that took her.

_ Fucking open your eyes. You call yourself part krogan? _

Taking a deep breathe, the asari sets herself on awareness of her body, focusing on moving any extremity in the hope that maybe she could will herself to consciousness. Half of her body is cold from shoulder to thigh, and the asari deduces she must be laying on her side, only half of her battered form against the cold bar floor. A fluid is pooling around her chest, though without her vision, the commando cannot tell if it is her own blood, the blood of the Krogan she has just assaulted, or a harmless spilled drink making her clothes a bit more uncomfortable.

Suddenly, two strong hands wrap around the asari’s shoulders and Aethyta feels her body being shifted until her entire back is flat against the cold floor of the bar. Her first instinct is to challenge those hands, grab the body connected to them and warp it into the ceiling but her arms do not cooperate. And neither do her biotics. Unable even to scream in frustration, the asari frantically begs herself to at least open her eyes to no avail yet again.

The strong hands on her shoulders release her on the floor, and suddenly, they are on her chest, spreading a gel like substance across what Aethyta can only assume are her injuries by the cool sting the gel has on her skin.

_ Medigel? _

The medigel absorbs into Aethyta’s body, and suddenly her body catches up with her mind, causing the asari to jols upright, her eyes opening to reveal a blurry, yet gruesome scene. Her clothes are soaked in medi-gel and blood, the floor marred with what blood her clothes did not catch. A thin human figure is kneeling next to her, closing a bright green container the matriarch can safely assume contained the healing substance her mystery companion had applied. 

“What do you want?” Aethyta barks, trying to sound intimidating but her voice is a choked rasp as pain from her injuries causes her entire body to tense. 

The woman kneeling beside her is unusually thin even for a female human, her body splattered with tattoos that the asari didn’t care to interpret.  Despite her size, the commando’s gut practically screamed at her to be wary of the dangerous potential of the woman before her, and though she still kneeled, everything about her gait and expression was predatory.

“Why do you think I want something? Maybe I just want a fucking drink.” Jack retorts, sitting back on her haunches and rising to her feet.

Aethyta chuckles in response, keeping her eyes trained on every movement the convict made.

“Don’t insult my intelligence tit-tats. You don’t look like the type who gets involved in a thick mess unless it has something for you in the blood somewhere. If you just wanted a fucking shot you could’ve stolen the most expensive bottle in here and left without any trouble. But you stopped to take care of me, why?”

The convict’s eyes flare at Aethyta’s insult, and then fill with concern, an emotion the matriarch did not expect the powerful other woman to betray in herself. Jack doesn’t say anything for moments, and the matriarch impatiently scans the area.

“You’re don’t seem like you’re here to kill me or try to hold me hostage, so I’m fucking leaving. The bastards that made this bloody mess took something of mine.” Aethyta begins to rise to her feet to dare the other woman to attack and stop her, but the moment she does, her legs give out, her body shaking as pain ripples like a shockwave throughout her muscular form. Without hesitation, Jack steps forward to catch the matriarch, her shoulder landing underneath one of Aethyta’s arms as the convict makes herself to be an amateur crutch. 

“Dicks that medigel didn’t do too much now did it?”Aethyta remarks in a defeated tone, her entire body slouching as it hits the battle worn asari she could do very little to chase her daughter’s kidnappers in her current state. Hell, she could do very little of anything if she didn’t see a real medic, and soon. If this biotic was only here to question her and kill her, she would have an excruciatingly easy time of it.

“Don’t go yet. You can’t. I am here for something. I’m here for somebody I guess. There was a girl here, a cheerleader-type bitch with an ass that probably had your whole bar’s attention. Black hair, long legs, great….everything. Physically. Physically, I mean. She can be kind of a bitch, but that’s... not the point.” Jack takes a deep breath, setting her jaw in an attempt to save a shred of her intimidating persona. “There’s blood everywhere. I need you tell me its not hers.”

“We do the craziest things following a pair of tits don’t we? Adds more sense to your story. But how the fuck do you know she was here if you showed up after the fight? The people that made this mess knew she was here too. ” Aethyta’s eyes narrow, scrutinizing the woman for any sign of deception, her body still unable to even hold its own weight to escape the woman’s shoulders. 

“We work together. She didn’t report...I tracked her signal here because I needed to fucking talk to her. I didn’t expect the damn place to be ransacked. You didn’t answer my fucking question. Is this blood hers asari?”

“It’s mostly mine kid. Now get off me. You’re picking the wrong enemy. Whoever took your girl took someone I care about too. And if your goal is to go after them, then we have something in common.”

“I need access to your security cameras. Now. I need to see what fucking happened.” 

“I was there. I can tell you what happened. But first, I need to know who you are, and I need to know that if you’re going after bodysuit, you’re also going to come back with the asari she was with.”

Jack’s eyes narrow, her shoulders tensing as if a mutated vorcha had just entered the room.

“What...what asari?”   


“Stop looking like a kicked varren pup. They weren’t on a date. They were sharing classified information about a common problem. Information I might be inclined to share with you if you tell me who the fuck you are tats, you’re wasting time.”

“I don’t...I wouldn’t have cared if they were on a date. Stop fucking assuming you know me you blue bitch.”

“Your identity tats. Goddess stop pining.”

The thin convict pauses, clearly uncomfortable with the idea she could be pining after the other woman.

“My name is Jack. I work for Commander Shepard on the Normandy. Miranda, bodysuit, does too. Does that chill you the fuck out?”

Aethyta watches Jack suspiciously, but the very mention of the Commander’s name relaxes the asari. Few people on Illium would dare to assert their association with the spectre. Shepard had far more enemies than friends, and presumed dead by most, her associates would have their lives stolen instead as vengeance for those enemies. 

“Well, I guess it’s your lucky day Normandy cue ball. I took a round for your booty call in the catsuit with the big ass, and now I can’t go after my asari. I’ll show you the vid so you can find them since clearly I’m not currently the best person for the job right now. But, on one condition.”

Jack jerks in irritation under Aethyta’s arm when the asari describes Miranda as a booty call, intentionally causing the asari to wince in pain as her injuries are jolted.

_ What a fucking prick. I like this kid. _

“Do you always take this long to get to the point? I need the footage. God I thought asari were supposed to be the best in the galaxy at skipping foreplay and getting the fuck to it.” The convict snarls and though her statement was meant to irritate the asari, Aethyta responds with a hoarse laugh.

“That’s a fucking good one kid. I’ll have to remember that the next time one of those long winded matriarchs gives me the run around. Look, to be straight with you, I don’t trust you to bring back my asari when shit gets crazy on the rescue and all you can see is the one pair of tits you want. But, I do trust that red headed leader of your ship. If you see this footage, you’re contacting Shep and bringing her with you. Are we clear?”

Aethyta expects the animalistic woman holding her up to throw a fit at the request, and she braces to be thrown off of her shoulders. However, the violent jolt she expects never comes, and it is silent for just a moment before Jack responds.

“Fine. But let’s look at that footage. Miranda’s running out of time.”

“That way.” Aethyta directs Jack to carry her to a doorway behind the bar counter. The asari winces with every step, her pain dulled by the medigel, but the round to her chest would be no easy injury to shake, much less survive if not treated soon. To Jack’s credit, she does her best to move carefully, but has a bad habit of speeding up as they walk in her anxiousness to find what had happened to her operative.

“Are you going to survive long enough to find this vid?” Jack asks casually, cocking an eyebrow at the asari.

“You won’t if you keep giving me the mouth kid.”

Aethyta lifts a small cardcard out of a rocks glass sitting on the bar as they pass the counter and with a wave, opens the small doorway.

“Balls!” Aethyta shouts at the sight, the sudden shout startling Jack to point she almost loses balance with her companion. The office is ransacked, each monitor a mess of broken glass and metal. The closet sized office still contains a bit of smoke, a remnant from the arms unloaded in the small area. 

“You have to have another way to see the fucking footage.” Jack snaps, grabbing Aethyta by the shoulders a bit roughly. “TELL ME YOU HAVE A WAY TO FIND THEM.” As the smaller woman raises her voice, her panicked body begins to crackle with blue energy. Any other being in the galaxy would be petrified at the sight, and yet Aethyta’s expression does not falter. Excusing the small biotic for her outburst, Aethyta shrugs out of her grip, clearly unoffended by the other woman’s roughness. Edging out of the doorway, the matriarch grips the bar for stability though her legs seem to be cooperating a bit more now. The convict follows close behind, pacing at her side.

“I do. But it’s….not something I trust many people with, especially not people I’m trusting on their word. I need you to call Shepard, and prove to me you know the Commander. Now. Then I’ll consider giving it to you.”

Jack frantically taps on her omni-tool in response, and the orange display flashes as she attempts to contact Shepard. It flashes four times, but the Commander does not answer and Jack slams her other fist into the tool on her forearm, screaming in frustration.

“THAT COCK SHE ISN’T ANSWERING. YOU CUM SOAKED SLUT PIECE OF SHIT FISH KILLER. SLAM ME INTO A WALL AND YOU’RE THE ONE NOT ANSWERING MY FUCKING CALL? SCREW YOU, YOU..YOU...”

Aethyta smirks at the interesting nickname for the most feared soldier in the galaxy, the other woman continuing to curse for a moments longer, rattling off so many expletives the bartender muses that her foul language vocabulary must nearly match her own. Though the commando wanted to trust the other seemingly well-meaning biotic, it was not in her nature to hand out information on her daughter on someone’s word. This tattooed bad mouthed biotic could be a thug with no way to contact the Commander whatsoever. Or, she could be who she said she was, and Shepard wasn’t answering when Liara was in goddamn trouble because of a personal confrontation from earlier. The commando grinds her teeth at the thought, if the spectre was that careless and petty with her squad’s emergency calls, she would hear from Aethyta about it very soon.

“I saved your fucking life. That doesn’t fucking count for anything?” Jack hisses as she tries Shepard’s comm again, the now cracked tool flashing as it attempts to connect to the soldier once more.

“Sorry kid. Only reward I give out is a good fuck and I have a feeling we’re not going to be doing that. Look, don’t waste precious time trying to contact Shep. Bodysuit couldn’t contact that walking hangover either, that’s why she came her to find the asari. But I still need proof. Show me intel, a case brief. Anything that directly proves to me you have a relationship with Shep.”

Jack looks taken aback by the request, and after a moment, withdraws a small datapad from the pockets of her orange jumpsuit.

“I can’t show you anything on my omni-tool, fucking cheerleader didn’t give me clearance to access shit in the ways of files, but take this. Shepard gave it to me. It’s a datapad about one of our missions...a personal favor Shepard did for me on Pragia. Take it. I think it proves Shepard gives a fuck about me and I give a fuck about that dumbass.”

Jack holds out the small datapad to Aethyta, but clasps it with a firm grip before the asari can pull it away. The way she clutches the small pad is like a child clinging to a bear for comfort, and the commando feels a stab of pity for the young biotic.  
  
“I only need it for a second kid. You can have it back in a moment when I’ve read it.”

“I….I don’t care. You can fucking have it for all I care. Please. Just help me find Miranda.” Jack begs softly, and Aethyta lifts the datapad from her hand, quickly looking over it. After the longest minute of Jack’s life, the commando looks up from the pad and nods quietly, no smart comment from the asari in response to the horrors she has just skimmed. This Jack definitely knew Shepard. The Commander helped her torch her past.

“I have a link to Liara’s location. Transmitting to your tool now. Please forward it to that hair-brained Commander of yours, make it urgent. I don’t care if you leave before spectre-status, but you’ll need the backup. And one of you better bring my girl back.”

“Did you say Liara?” Jack’s tone is laced with irritation, her jaw tensing. However, the convict quickly shakes it off, taking a deep breath to cool her emotions and nodding silently.

“You have a problem with her kid?” Aethyta says sternly, crossing her arms and staring down the young biotic. Even her sympathy for the convict wouldn’t stop her from warping that bald head into the bar shelves if she was someone who could hurt Liara. Though the motion is a small one, Aethyta’s injured chest seizes from the motion, nearly causing the asari to pass out on the cold floor behind the bar and yet she forces herself to remain upright.

“She backstabbed Shepard.” Jack spits, causing the asari to bristle. “But don’t get your tits all worked up. Just because we don’t go on play dates and laugh over drinks about how she ran Shepard’s heart under a mako doesn’t mean I’m her enemy. I wouldn’t fucking hurt her you dick, stop assuming shit. Shepard needs her, asshole pretends like she’s not, but she’s holding out hope that the asari gets her head out of her ass and lets her fuck it. I won’t take that stupid hope from her after all she’s done for me.”

Aethyta nods, but the scowl on her face stays put.

“I’ll warp you, bodysuit, the whole goddamn Normandy onto an asteroid of mating Vorcha on Hallex, that I will personally provide them, if she doesn’t come back. To use my link to Liara’s location, you’re giving me yours too cue ball. Remember that. Even with a hole in my side I can tear you apart.”

Jack nods, a flash of amusement in her eyes at the colorful imagery from the asari’s mouth.

“Understood. But just warping the squad to Omega isn’t that scary of a threat purple tits.” The convict mocks, a thin smirk finally crossing her face.

Aethyta chuckles, relaxing her predatory demeanor and sinking to the floor behind the bar, propping herself against the cabinets so she can examine her injuries.

“I’ll call you a medic...those Normandy dicks will help anyone.”

“No need kid. Generous offer, but I’ve given enough free drinks to the med station workers on this fucking planet to call in a few favors. I’ll get someone here.”

Jack nods, and removes another canister of medigel from her gear, placing it by the asari.

“This is all I have but it’s yours. Thanks purple tits. Don’t bleed out here okay? This bar floor is disgusting.”

“Hey! I clean this floor tit-tats! But thanks. And kid? Bring them both back and you’re drinking free for life.”


	16. Chapter 16

Barla Von’s office on Illium is far more meager than his office on the Citadel, a tactic the volus likely employed to fly under the radar in the city of information brokers and spies. The office is little more than a labelled door in a large building of alternate financial service offices, so unimpressive the Commander nearly walks past it when she steps off the building lift onto the correct floor.

When she enters the office, Shepard finds herself in a box-sized lobby, containing only about six empty seats facing each other on opposite sides of the room. A glass window beside a locked door is on the far side of the room, and an asari receptionist sits typing away at the terminal behind it. Though Barla Von himself would have charged across the floor to get a good look at the galaxy’s famously dead Commander, the receptionist seems to be only a hired data worker here to schedule appointments, not an information broker. She doesn’t even pay Shepard an inquisitive glance away from her work as the spectre enters. 

Shepard strides to the front of the office and raps her fist on the glass, finally causing the asari to face the woman.

“One moment ma’am, do you have an appointment?”

The soldier chuckles dangerously, reaching for her side only to come up empty handed.

_ Dammit. My Carnifex is really good at scheduling appointments. _

“No, I don’t. But I suggest you let me speak to Barla Von. People who keep me waiting….generally regret that choice.” The soldier remarks in a low voice, each word dripping with dangerous intentions.

The veiled threat causes the asari to give the woman her attention, and her brows crease as she scrutinizes the soldier, unsure as to why she vaguely recognized the tousled human before her.

“My office does not take threats lightly, nor do they have a chance of succeeding in here. I suggest you find another financial advisor and make an appointment.” She replies in a matter of fact tone, and Shepard smirks, inching close to the glass dangerously. The glass appears too thin to be bulletproof, an unusual mistake for an information broker’s office. Maybe he really did think his connection to the Shadow Broker was an all powerful protection. 

In one swift movement, she slams her biotically charged fist through the glass, grabbing the asari by the collar and holding her up so that she was eye level with the soldier. 

“You don’t want to stand in my way. People that do that have a bad habit of getting killed. Take me to Von’s office. Now.”

“Right….right away ma’am.” The asari mumbles, her body shaking with fear in the soldier’s hold. Shepard releases her and she drops onto her seat with a small huff, immediately scrambling to her terminal to unlock the door beside the glass separating the waiting area from the back offices. 

Shepard vaults through the broken window instead, landing beside the asari and putting a hand on her shoulder, as if to remind her there was no escaping the spectre.

“I said now.” The soldier barks, and the asari sets into motion, leading the soldier down a thin hallway from the receptionist area. 

The Commander usually had a bit of a soft spot for asari, but between the soldier’s trying day and her aching muscles that hadn’t quite recovered from her recent injuries, she couldn’t find it in herself to be patient even for a moment. The sooner the threat was taken care of, the sooner she could return to the Normandy and lick her wounds from the day. Until then, her mind would have to be laser focused on eliminating the possible threat to Liara. 

After a few steps, the asari knocks on an unmarked door, and the Commander tightens her grip on the the thin blue shoulder. 

“Tell him to let us in.” Shepard whispers in a chilling voice, and the asari nods vigorously in response.

“S...sir? I need to speak with you for a moment.”

There is no response, the only sounds the muffled whimpers of the asari shaking in the soldier’s grasp. 

“Sir?” She pleads, her voice strained as if she expected the spectre to put her body through the door if no answer came.

Shepard waits only a minute before giving the asari a rough shove into the hall away from her and the doorway.

“Get out of here. Tell no one I am here or was here. If backup comes, I will have you personally explain to me where they came from. Go home.”

The asari nods franctically and rushes away from the spectre, tripping over her own feet in a hurry to get out of the narrow hallway. Taking a deep breath, Shepard focuses her biotics, preparing herself for whatever was on the other side of the curiously silent door.

A moment after her biotically charged boot collides with the door, the soldier rushes inside, her body enveloped in a bright blue glow the exhausted spectre is surprised she can still manage to project in her worn down state. 

The soldier is ready for anything. Ready to kill as many Krogan bodyguards and Vorcha mercenaries Von could possibly have in his employ to make the Volus answer for the information he should have never sold. What the soldier is not ready for however, is nothing.

The office is stripped. Only a desk with no terminal sits in the center of the room.

_ What the fuck...he didn’t even leave a goddamn picture on the wall… _

The soldier stalks over to the only piece of furniture left, sinking to her haunches and performing a routine search of the piece. Her hands snake above and below every drawer, but each time she pulls away her hands only contain a thin layer of dust.

“Aaaargh!” In frustration the soldier’s fist collides with the wooden furniture, the tabletop splitting in two as the force of Shepard’s hand falls into it. Ordinarily, the N7 operative would understand the setback and contain her emotions until an alternate route to her goal had been identified. Shepard had trained for years in the art of failing and moving on in a split second for the sake of the mission, and yet the small failure of the volus slipping through her grasp threatens to shatter the spectre.

_ I need to find Archer….what if he knows where Liara is...why did Barla Von leave in such a hurry, did he know I would be coming? _

The soldier’s head races with thoughts and she brings her palm up to her forehead forcefully, mentally berating herself for her inability to focus.

She never could focus when it involved Liara….

“EDI.” Shepard barks into her comm, gritting her teeth as if doing so could keep her from leaping down the rabbit hole that was her complicated feelings for the asari.

“I need you to hack into every frequency you can possibly intercept on Illium. Looking for any mention of Dr. Gavin Archer.”

“Yes Commander.” EDI’s voice sounds from the comm on the soldier’s forearm. “Shepard, you did request for isolation from the Normandy crew. However, I have received several emergency notifications from Jack. It is my observation that humans are distraught when they do not receive transmissions that are sorted under the emergency tag. Shall I allow them to transmit while I monitor the transmissions you have requested I search?”

_ Oh no…. _

Shepard grimaces at the AI’s words. 

_ Not only have I hurt her today, but now I’ve ignored her when she needed help… _

“Transmit them immediately EDI. Do you have a link to Jack? Give me a vitals update.”

“Yes Commander.” The AI shines a dull blue as the the content loads, the soldier’s fingers drumming an anxious pattern on her tool as it does.

“Her vitals are stable Commander. Subject Zero has sent a message containing a link to a tracking signal. The message reads ‘Shepard. Liara and the Cheerleader got taken, they’re in trouble. Follow this signal right  _ censored _ now. I’m on my way already. I’ll try not flay alive every bad guy before you get there.” 

_ Liara…. _

Ordinarily the soldier would find amusement in EDI reading aloud a message from Jack. The AI’s stable tone reading the aggressive message and pronouncing the word “censored” usually provoked at least a chuckle from the Commander. However, the very mention of the asari causes the soldier’s stomach to turn. Her hands shake causing her tool to jostle, the soldier doing everything in her capability to control her breathing as panic sets into her body.

“EDI when did you receive this?” 

“25 minutes ago Commander.”

“Patch me into Jack immediately, I need to talk to her right now.” 

Though the convict was indisputably the most powerful biotic the soldier had ever known, whatever force had been capable of taking both Miranda and Liara hostage was clearly a reckoning one. The soldier was not interested in her best biotic and companion facing it alone.

Shepard’s omni-tool flashes twice before a gruff “Shepard” is heard in response from her wrist.

“Jack, listen to me, hold your position until I join your formation. We need to go in there as a team. I want your coordinates. Now. And I want every piece of information you have on the company that took them.”

“I don’t have answers for you Shepard. I went to Eternity to check on bubble butt because she hadn’t returned to the ship and EDI told me she was there for some fucked up reason. Whole place looked like a scene from a bad vid when I got there and they were already gone, I didn’t see the dicks that took them. I managed to receive a tracking signal for Liara from some close friend of Blue’s. A location which I already forwarded to you. So there, same page now? I didn’t even want to involve you but Liara’s fucking pal wanted you involved as well. I don’t think she trusted me to bring them both back.”

Shepard pauses, uncertain of how to respond to the statement. It hurts her to think that her own crewmate wouldn’t seek her company in a dangerous situation by choice, but she understands why Jack is uninterested in seeing her at the moment. However, the biotic’s implication that she would leave Liara with an unknown enemy nearly incites the same rage in the Commander that had flashed earlier. 

“WOULD you have brought them both back?”

There’s a short lapse from the comm before Jack responds, her voice edged with irritation.

“Of course I would have brought them BOTH back Shepard. Who the fuck do you think I am? I don’t fucking like Liara at the moment but I don’t want anything to happen to her for the sake of your screwed up head.”

Shepard lets out a long breath in relief, looking down at the floor as if to hide her face in shame for the accusation of ruthlessness even though she wasn’t even facing the other woman.

“I….I’m sorry about earlier. And..now. I know you look out for me Jack and I appreciate it. I was out of line.”

“Save the apologies for later Shepard. I don’t have time for you to dance between thinking I’m a heartless killer who would smear the walls with your fucking ex.”

_ I should have known she wouldn’t be interested in forgiving me so easily...dammit Shepard she was really opening up to you lately. _

“Right….I...yeah. Send me your location Jack. I guess we can talk about this later. We need to get to them. Now. I have reason to believe Gavin Archer’s men from our mission on Aite may have involvement. ” The soldier’s voice shakes, hindering her attempt to stay commanding. Her voice has lost her usual edge, and sounds more like a plea than an order. Doing her best to avoid picturing Liara at the mercy of Archer’s men, the soldier practically shakes with the need to help her love as immediately as possible. 

“You don’t need my location Shepard. You have what you need. Catch up to me when you catch up to me, I’m not waiting on you to frolic your ass down here. If Archer is involved, I don’t want that sick fuck turning anyone else into an experiment.” 

“Jack!” The spectre’s voice is practically a cry now, panic taking a firmer grip of her body at the simple statement. On a normal day the Commander would be staunchly against sending a squad member into a dangerous situation alone. On a day when Liara was involved, the idea made her want to flat break down. 

“Miranda is one of the best operatives in the whole damned galaxy and Liara can hold her own in a fight. Whoever took them you are not facing solo Jack! I order you to stand down and send me your coordinates!”

“Eat my ass Shepard. This isn’t a goddamn mission. You can’t order me to do jackshit. I’m going in for them. We don’t know what these creeps want with them or how long they even fucking have.”

With that, the line is abruptly disconnected, ending with a loud blip that makes the soldier want to put her hand through the wall.

Taking a few deep breaths, the soldier accesses the tracking signal the other biotic had forwarded to her. 

_ Jack is just mad. Calm down. She’s doing the right thing even if it is the aggressively stupid thing. Miranda and Liara may not have until you arrive…. _

_ Goddammit Liara please be alright…. _

“EDI…”

“Yes Commander?”

“Give me nav to this signal. I want the fastest way possible to get there.”

“Right away Commander.”

_ I guess I’m backup... _


	17. Chapter 17

“Shepard?”

“Yes EDI?” 

“The signal is becoming more and more scrambled as we approach the Genex Chemical Building. Perhaps Dr. T’Soni is within it.”

The building before Shepard is massive, its size comparable to that of any of the skyscrapers in the Ilium skyline downtown. The building is not far from the center of Nos Astra, and it is styled after the other city buildings. The stories are too numerous for Shepard to count upon a visual glance, and each floor is marked by wide spanning glass windows that give off a vibrant purple light in the nighttime. If EDI hadn’t announced it was some sort of Chemical manufacturing building, the soldier would have guessed it to be a modern hotel or apartment complex rather than a business building. The two armed guards at the doors are the soldier’s only indication she is in the right place. She takes up position about fifty yards from them, out of their eyesight behind one of the sky cars parked in the front lot of the structure. 

“EDI, analyze the structural blueprints. If they aren’t a matter of public record, use the link to Liara’s console created when we uploaded information from those terminals to her database. She probably has the prints of every building on this planet. Also, try to hack into their security systems if you can. It’s too massive for me to search every floor, I don’t want something to happen to them while I waste time twenty stories below.”

“Understood Commander.”

“And send an empty signal to Jack’s omni-tool to pinpoint her position. If she’s in there already, I need to find her.”

Shepard takes a deep breath, running her hand through her sweat matted hair. The soldier’s exhaustion was reaching a peak, and yet her chest felt tight with the adrenaline of the situation. Though EDI would be able to give her a rough packet of intel to use to navigate the building, the soldier was concerned of her own capability to infiltrate where the hostages were being held without alerting Archer of her presence. Shepard had been in more than enough hostage situations to know that if there didn’t appear to be a link between those taken and their captors, they were just bait for a bigger fish. And if Archer was the one behind this, if he had taken Liara because of her appearance in the security footage from Eternity, the Commander herself was the big fish he intended to snare. 

If Shepard thought there was any chance Liara and Miranda would be spared in trade, she would do it in a heartbeat. She would give herself to a mad man for any member of her squad, and would give anything she was or had for Liara’s sake. However Archer did not seem to be the fair trade sort, and his very presence seeking vengeance gave the Commander a strong feeling in her gut that he would be doing anything he could to try to hurt her. Even harming those she cared about before her. He was not the type of captor to secure individuals to trade for another, he was the type to use them to bring the target in sight, and then eliminate them when they were of no further use.

_ Hopefully Jack is staying safe…. _

Shepard knew she would be unable to sleep at night if Archer were to get a hold of Jack. The young criminal’s eyes had been wide, filled with fear and threatening to spill over with tears of the past as they came face to face with the horrors of Aite. Shepard would never have brought Jack along for the final battle with the rogue VI had she known it was all a result of disturbing human experimentation. 

But Shepard hadn’t known. And she had brought Jack. And Jack had seen everything, her frail body looking ready to collapse as they stood in front of David Archer’s torture in the cold metal lab. 

Shepard had sent Jack for extraction immediately at the sight, spouting an excuse about needing someone at the doors of the facility to signal their shuttle. To the soldier’s relief, Jack obeyed with a word and left, leaving Shepard and Miranda to contact Grissom Academy and hold David and Gavin until Cerberus troops arrived to secure them. 

Witnessing Jack’s paralyzing fear at the very implication she could be in David’s place again, Shepard had promised herself she would never let Jack be in any of those situations ever again. Standing in front of the Genex building where Jack and Archer likely were, Shepard felt like that promise was already in jeopardy.

_ Why did Jack even charge in without me? She hates both Miranda and Liara, why face a situation that we have good reason to believe is being caused by a man who represents her greatest fear for them? _

The soldier had been musing over that question the entire way to the building. So far, she was completely unable to place why Jack had involved herself so personally. The convict was a complicated woman, with a survival instinct so core to her being Shepard expected her to wait for a team or to remove herself from involvement entirely after she had notified the Commander. 

Sure, Shepard was aware Jack cared about the Normandy crew more than she let on, but notifying Shepard of peril on their behalf would usually be enough for Jack if the mission seemed like more trouble than it was worth. She wouldn’t hang any of the crew out to dry, but she wouldn’t get herself killed for them. She had survived too much to die like that, and Shepard understood. What Shepard didn’t understand, was the change of heart that had led to the convict charging into an unknown facility likely containing state of the art fortifications for Miranda and Liara. To think of it, Shepard didn’t even understand how Jack had become involved at all. 

_ She went to go check on Miranda in Eternity? Why? _

Before Shepard can muse further, her musings keeping her anxiety at bay for the several minutes it takes for EDI to accomplish Shepard’s demands, the electronic voice of her companion AI sounds from the soldier’s tool.

“Commander. I have accessed a schematic of the building from Dr. T’Soni’s terminal. It has been uploaded to you omni-tool, and possible extraction routes are highlighted in your interface. Accessing security footage was unsuccessful. There is a network of security cameras in the building, but they have been recently disabled as of yesterday. A reset at the internal security terminal is needed to access them. I have also marked that terminal on your schematic. I recommend using stealth to access the terminal before attempting to locate Ms. Lawson and Dr. T’Soni. There is a lesser probability of being discovered in your path to the terminal than there would be searching each floor of the building.”

“Exactly my thoughts. Contact the Normandy and get anyone on the squad that you can contact on stand by. I know we’re on shore leave, but some of them have to be nearby the ship and ready to gear up. Don’t send anyone to this location until my command. Subtlety is going to be very important to get them out of here alive.”

At Shepard’s words, a large explosion hits the soldier like a skycar in Illium traffic. The guards at the front door are knocked back several paces by the blast, and Shepard’s ears pound from the awful sound. The third floor of the building is dotted with flames, the blast having shattered the glass in every window frame on the level. Broken glass is littered around the guards before her, and they step gingerly through it on their way into the building to likely investigate the third floor chaos. 

“EDI! I need to go in, now! Where is Jack? Was she in that explosion? Did they find her?”

“According to Subject Zero’s eezo levels, strong vitals, and coordinates, I believe she was the cause of the explosion Commander.”

“Dammit Jack….”

Shepard leaps from her position and strafes toward the building. Unfortunately, the soldier’s only consolation is that if the catastrophic amount of guards now converging on Jack’s position were to ordered capture Shepard, anyone else would likely be held as bait for the Commander with the other two hostages, not terminated. 

The soldier pauses when she reaches the front door, flattening her back against the wall and peering over her shoulder to assess the guards in the front lobby. There are more than ten, a number almost impossible to pass by unseen. However, the chaos of the explosion is acting as a perfect distraction, and the guards are arguing about whether they should hold their position or charge upstairs as backup. One guard is fixated on the elevator lift in the center of the room, mashing his hand against the call button as if every squad in the building wasn’t attempting to use it. If the soldier is attempting to call the lift at all, Shepard can safely assume the stairwell was full of charging guards. 

_ So both options are out for bringing me upstairs to that terminal...why are they charging around like animals? Isn’t anyone giving them orders? _

The chaos within the hired mercenaries practically confirms to the soldier that Archer was indeed in charge here. A scientist alike to Archer would lack the experience to command a mercenary group, so it was very plausible to the Commander that these arms were hired by the scientist when he fled. Absence of time working for Archer had probably led to their lack of familiarity with procedure, and they seemed unfamiliar with the building at best.

_ They must have taken over the building on Archer’s behalf...they know less about it than I do. _

The realization is comforting for the spectre. If the building had been recently invaded, there were likely few advanced security measures in place, making it a less complicated extraction than she had previously expected. However, a large amount of hired guns with little direction could be even more dangerous, at least an organized mercenary group could be predicted. 

There. The soldier is almost overjoyed for a moment when she locates a vent on the far side of the large room upon her most recent scan.

_ That should allow me to access any floor I want…. _

“Freeze. Identify yourself.”

The soldier’s head flips forward, and she is greeted with the sight of a guard dressed in the same uniform as those inside advancing from the sky car lot, his rifle trained on her body.

_ How did I miss him?  _

The soldier mentally berates herself. She should have combed the parking lot when she arrived. It was a rookie mistake to have found cover without surveillance, but the soldier was never as sharp as she usually could be when Liara was involved. 

Shepard puts her hands on her head and stands still as the soldier approaches. When he reaches her, he places the barrel of his weapon against her chest, his helmet inches from her face.

“I said identify yourself trespasser.”

The soldier’s lack of armor and weaponry makes her a vulnerable target. Had she caught this man by surprise, she could have used her biotics to dispatch him quite simply. Now, with his rifle trained on her unarmored chest, she was in a poor position. However, the man asking about her identity at close enough range to fully inspect her face did reinforce her notion that the team was inexperienced. If the objective was to lure Commander Shepard, shouldn’t he know what she looked like?

_ Maybe I look different in my big bad armor.. _

_ Or maybe this isn’t about me... _

“My name is Tara Hawke. My sister works in the Genex building, I wanted to know what was going on, I heard an explosion.”

“Identification.” The man doesn’t ask any questions to her story, leaving the soldier wondering which parts of it he believed, if any. He steps forward and begins to pat her down, checking for any weapons that might allude she was not here for an innocent purpose. 

As his gloved hands reach her hips, Shepard brings her knee to his crotch, causing him to lurch forward into the soldier’s biotically charged fist which perfectly contacts his helmeted head. His neck snaps instantly from the contact, and he falls in a lifeless heap into the soldier’s arms, who silently drags him away from the door. She sets his body behind a nearby sky car, and begins to strip him from his armor and weapons in robotic fashion. 

Her carelessness in not sweeping the lot earlier has unsettled the soldier, and she realizes in her distracted state, there was a real possibility it could happen again. If she was to make it to the others without alerting anyone to her presence on site, maybe she should enter as another.  
  
The armor pieces snap to the soldier’s body and though the entire suit of armor is larger than what the soldier would usually don for battle, she can manage the weight well enough for a good fight. The slight discomfort is worth the protection the suit offers her over her thin fatigues. 

“EDI? I’m entering the building undercover. Block anyone from contacting me when I’m inside to protect my identity. I will contact first if I am in need of anything when I am clear.”

“Understood Commander.”

Rolling the stripped body underneath the car, the soldier turns and jogs towards the building entrance once more. When she enters, the guards on the ground floor are still arguing between themselves, so she turns her attention to the stairwell. 

_ Amateurs. _

The stairwell is packed but beginning to clear out, guards milling to their respective floors and not rushing to the third floor as Shepard expected. 

_ The situation must be under control. Shit, Jack! _

Shepard side steps several guards and makes her way to the third floor anyway, only to be stopped by a guard in similar armor on the landing. 

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?”

The guard is strapped with multiple upgraded weapons, a package of incendiary rounds on his belt.

_ He’s wearing a bit of credits in gear, he must be one of the mercs in charge.. _

“Is the situation on the third floor contained? I was notified of intruders sir.”

The guard nods slowly, crossing her arms. “It was contained. Get back to your position.”

As the soldier’s mind races, trying to craft any excuse she might use to follow Jack, another well-armed merc appears beside the first one. The merc is identical to the other, but this one is not wearing a helmet. In his hands are two cracked pieces which look like opposite sides of the helmet. 

“Brax. Do you know who the fuck that woman was?”

The first guard shakes his head, leading to the helmetless guard slamming half of his broken helmet into the wall in frustration.

“We need to figure out how to restrain her. The ones upstairs... they’re struggling with her. We’re going to lose more men holding her than we did catching her. Only order I’ve heard from Archer is to capture anyone who enters the building, not waste them for some fucking reason. I told him I knew she was nothing but he won’t listen, he’s up there wasting time talking about how he can restrain her. I’d like to see that thin little prick deal with her.”

“How do you know she’s nothing?”

“Recognized her. Subject Zero, she’s famous in the back channels. Every merc company has tried to recruit her at some point and I was the poor bastard sent to try to bring her in for the Blue Suns when I ran with them. She’s good, but she’s worthless.”

“Did you say Subject Zero?” Shepard interrupts, causing both men to look at her, the helmeted one snarling at her voice.

“We didn’t ask you recruit. Back to your post unless you want to go up there and be Zero’s chew toy.”

“I think I can help.” Both men cross their arms in disbelief, but Shepard continues. “I served on Purgatory with her, when she was still imprisoned. I know a lot about Zero. I think I can restrain her.”

The second guard chuckles, then tosses the pieces of his helmet at her. They clink off her chest plate and fall to the ground.

“Be my guest. Come with me. You can tell Archer everything you know about Zero.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry to sneak in some notes, but wanted to reach out and see if anyone was interested in beta reading the rest of this story/future stories! Looking to partner with someone for a bit or a while depending on what we can offer each other. For anyone willing to beta, I am down to beta your stories as well! Also, I am a professional audio recording engineer (my real trade I am certified, work in a studio) so if you are willing to help me with beta reading, I will offer pro audio work. That means editing your podcast audio, music, whatever! Pro audio is expensive but my passion and I’ll help out anyone sweet enough to do me a solid. If you think you would be a good match to help, send me a message! I have no idea if you can message on ao3 but my username is vigilantedr on fanfiction.net so please reach out to me there


	18. Chapter 18

When the guard leading her upstairs finally stops, Shepard finds herself harshly pushed by the through the doors of the stairway landing.

“Archer was just here. Should be close. Watch your step. Zero’s been leaving bodies everywhere.”

True to the soldier’s word, the narrow hall is littered with bodies to the point Shepard cannot decipher where the trail to Jack began and ended. The guard guides her through them, and they turn a corner to find themselves face to face with Dr. Gavin Archer. 

Rage fills the spectre at his very sight, her grip on her newly procured rifle tightening to the point she’s convinced she can tear the metal should she hold it any tighter. Archer does not glance at either of them as they approach, his attention on a panicked asari mercenary before him rattling on about their dangerous biotic prisoner, begging the man to let them kill her.

“And you think you’re capable of that?” Archer says with a thin smile, his eyes lighting up as if he was genuinely enjoying the panic visible in the woman. It makes Shepard nauseous. “Your men don’t care that I told them not to kill her, they’d rather apologize to each of us bar all consequence than lose their lives to that biotic monster. They’re trying to kill her don’t you see? And they’re failing.”

The mercenary huffs at the statement, straightening up as if to deflect the comment.

“The job is our first priority Dr. Archer. We would dispose of her if allowed.”

This statement garnishes a chuckle from Archer, and he tsks his tongue in response, his dangerous smile never once leaving his lips.

“Have you ever studied psychology? Wait, of course you haven’t. Allow me to inform you. The human mind is a fantastic creature, but a flawed one. Clinical trials have more than proved the theory that under duress, the mind does not perform to its full capability. I would say Subject Zero is an excellent example of duress, wouldn’t you Captain?”

The captain shrugs, her tense body displaying her frustration at being lectured when her mercenaries were losing their lives in the same building.

“The correct answer is yes. My, not an academic were you? Makes sense as to how you ended up in a mercenary faction. Under duress the mind reverts back to its core instincts. Survival is the most core instinct of them all. I think it is a safe hypothesis that Subject Zero is causing your men to think only of surviving, not following your orders Captain.”

“Sir.” The helmetless merc beside Shepard interjects, leading her to Archer’s side. “This one has a history with Zero, service record includes some time at Purgatory when Zero was imprisoned. She may have some insight into restraining her.”

Archer flicks his eyes to them, never once losing his self-assured smile that infuriates the spectre.

_ He has Liara, Miranda, and Jack. And the fucker has the audacity to be enjoying himself? He’s not leaving alive this time… _

“Thank you Lieutenant, but that would be unnecessary. I don’t care about Subject Zero’s background or what shiv made her squirm on Purgatory. I have everything I need to restrain her.”

The lieutenant looks into Archer’s eyes with an expression of pure murder. 

“Then why don’t we do it already?” 

Something flashes in Archer’s eyes that Shepard can’t read, and the scientist takes a slow step towards the lieutenant, only stopping when the asara interjects.

“To Zero’s cell. Go. You’re to be stationed there until further notice. He’s the source of our credits and our contract, you don’t question him.” The asari states, her eyes cold and focused as she looks into the eyes of her officer. The man nods, and leaves the hall, the fire in his steps gone as he leaves to face what would likely be his death. 

“Thank you Captain, maybe you’re more qualified for this than I thought.”

Archer turns his attention to Shepard then, his eyes tracing over her as if evaluating her. The soldier stiffens, a nagging fear in the back of her mind praying there was nothing visible to the scientist that could allude to her identity. 

“I apologize the Lieutenant took you from your post for nothing, but you may still be of use, so do not stray. Captain, I believe now is the time to tell you, I have attained a biotic dampener.”

At the statement, Shepard half expects the asari to lunge for Archer’s throat, to choke him for letting her men die while he withheld a weapon that could disable the powerful biotic killing them. The captain does not however, holding her professional gait and cold expression. It is something Shepard struggles to do at the same words, a feeling of impossibility taking over her at the news of a biotic dampener being inside the building. Though each of her squadmates within the building was trained with a weapon, they relied on their biotics for most high level combat situations. Jack was a force of nature as a biotic anomaly, capable of tearing vehicles and enemies apart in single movements, but a very average shot in the soldier’s professional opinion. Escaping with everyone once the dampener was activated would be difficult, or impossible altogether. 

“Why use it now instead of turning it on when Zero was confirmed in the building?” The captain inquisits, her tone surprisingly steady for how incensed the soldier imagined her to be.

“The biotic dampener requires a power supply. There is a substantial generator in the building, but it is directly linked to the building security system. The moment we utilize it, the moment we have a network of security cameras vulnerable to enemy hacking online. Do you see my tactical thinking Captain?” 

The asari nods slowly, though from her cold stare, Shepard knows the justification is not nearly enough for her. 

“I will take a small squad of your men for protection and activate it. I can take this one your foolish Lieutenant dragged up here and the two stationed outside the chambers where I secured the dampener. Once I activate it, I want you to personally put a bullet in Zero’s head. The others are more than enough to lure Shepard here, Zero has proved to be only a liability. When we have Shepard in custody, we can dispose of the other two. I only need the Commander to negotiate for David’s custody.”

_ After all he’s done to him...he still won’t let David go? That’s what this is about... Not vengeance, but a man who can’t let go of the experiment he gave everything, even his humanity for... _

Shepard bristles at Archer’s words, her face heating with rage underneath her helmet. The soldier’s skin takes the hue of a scarlet red as blood rushes to her face, creating an anger so intense the soldier is dizzy from the emotion. Though the soldier had been aware her friends were nothing more than convenient bait to the scientist, the confirmation sets a pure hatred into the Commander’s heart. Any man willing to spend the life of the asari she loved so haphazardly deserved a brutal end, one the spectre would happily provide. Fighting the urge to put a slug into the man that very moment, the spectre grits her teeth. 

_ Not yet...not until the others are safe. Or at least, not until there’s no one around to sound an alarm. _

“Come.” Archer beckons Shepard to his side with a tilt of his hand, and the soldier follows, eager for her opportunity to be alone with the man on their way to the others Archer intended on recruiting to his protection. The asari gives Archer one final salute, and then practically races down the hall, a bit more energy in her step as she rushes to finish off the convict that had taken so many soldiers from her command. 

_ I have to kill Archer before he touches that dampener….Jack doesn’t have a chance against hundred of years of mercenary training without her biotics. _

Shepard’s eyes follow the asari, watching anxiously for the captain to turn the corner and leave her alone with the scientist. After several moments, the asari disappears, but to Shepard’s disappointment, a crew of well-armed mercenaries take her place, marching down the hall towards the pair.

“Sir! Brax sent us to relieve the posts stationed up here. He was under the impression Zero had weakened sentry forces considerably.”

Archer nods slowly, waving them over to where he and Shepard stood.

“With us. I have a post that requires considerable protection.”

The mercenaries fall into step with Archer and Shepard as the scientists leads them all down an adjacent hall towards a reinforced door guarded by two additional mercenaries. Shepard takes a deep breath, surveying the situation for any opening she could possibly take to attack them before the dampener was activated. The soldiers stationed at the door carried low-grade weapons and average armor, easily dispatchable by the Commander. The true threat was the guards that had just joined the pair, each carrying modified weapons, one even sporting a military grade flamethrower. Though the soldier could easily fell all of them, she silently doubted her ability to do so in such a swift manner that none of them would sound an alarm that could put Liara and the others in danger.

When the small crew reaches the large door, Archer uses his credentials to unlock it, stepping aside to allow the others to enter before him.

“Fan out. I want eyes on this entire room.”

The mercenaries take his cue, spreading themselves out throughout the small room, their eyes and guns locked on the dampener’s position. Shepard places herself closest to the door, and Archer tips his head to her as he enters behind them. 

The odds are no better in the small chamber than they were in the hall, but as Archer approaches the dampener, the soldier realizes there would be no perfect opportunity to kill him, only the one she had right now. Creating an alarm within the facility  _ could _ lead to the execution of all of her companions, but there was also a good chance they would not be killed until Shepard was in custody, something the soldier could hopefully avoid for a precious time. If that dampener were to be activated however, Jack would be dead in minutes, an almost concrete fact. Though the soldier’s heart ached at possibly putting Liara in danger, she would not allow Jack to be set up for slaughter by the asari captain, not if she could help it. Liara would understand, and she and Miranda had a better chance of escaping with their biotic powers intact regardless of the alarm.

_ Dammit Jack...why didn’t you wait for me? _

As the soldier raises her rifle to fire on the dampener, whispering a silent apology to Liara in her mind for the danger she would be putting her loved one in, the air suddenly leaves the soldier’s lungs, a shell scorching her in the chest plate. Her body is flung back as if she were a rag doll, her helmeted skull making contact with the wall behind her in a sickening crack. The soldier attempts to scramble to her feet to retaliate, but only manages to bring her body onto her fists and knees, her vision an assortment of colors and shapes that barely form a picture. What little she can make out in the blur is a horrible picture she wished she could not see. Archer is standing beside the dampener, that disgusting smug grin on his face and a large rifle in his hands, still smoking from firing the large concussive blast. The other guards in the room are converging on Shepard, their weapons trained on her hunched body, ready to finish Archer’s work at a moment’s notice.

“Welcome Shepard, I see you’ve adapted our fashion quite well. However, that armor does little to hide your less than human traits my dear Commander. Our security equipment detected your Cerberus grade cybernetics the moment you entered the building. And, your heroics are sickenly apparent despite whatever you mask you hide behind.”

Gloved hands capture the soldier’s arms, the butt of a rifle ramming into her helmet once, twice, three times until it cracks, the spectre’s red hair spilling out of the broken metal. Shepard’s head is pounding, her vision further blurred from the repeated head injury. She doesn’t see Archer activate the dampener, but when she tries to rally her biotic energy around her, rallying any energy she can use to slam her body into the scientist in one last attempt to stop him, the blue light does not come. 

_ Oh God….Oh God Jack...Jack?! _

A picture flashes through her mind, a horrifying imagination of the asari captain unleashing round after round into Jack’s frail body as the small biotic tries to use her power. She hears Archer’s cruel laugh across the room, as if he is aware of the vanguard’s fear her friend may be gone already. His footsteps make sharp taps on the metal floor as he crosses the room to her side, his fist curling around her neck, forcing her to look at him.

“Something wrong Commander?” Archer’s face appears even more twisted in the Commander’s altered vision, his features contorted into a sight as putrid as a husk. Shepard is unable to even respond before a sharp pain slaps the side of her skull once again, her blurred vision becoming overtaken with a solid black with each blow. The soldier fights for consciousness, aware that captivity could mean a certain end for the asari she would never stop fighting to protect. The aim of her fist is sloppy at best, but she still manages to lay a punch to Archer’s throat, causing him to lurch back from the spectre, choking on his own breath. The mercenary beside Shepard reacts instantly, once again bringing the butt of his heavy weapon to her temple, perfectly vulnerable without her biotic barrier. The last thoughts in the soldier’s mind before she loses consciousness are silent apologies to Jack, to Miranda…

And to Liara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Posting this once last time, but wanted to reach out and see if anyone was interested in beta reading the rest of this story/future stories! Looking to partner with someone for a bit or a while depending on what we can offer each other. For anyone willing to beta, I am down to beta your stories as well! Also, I am a professional audio recording engineer (my real trade I am certified, work in a studio) so if you are willing to help me with beta reading, I will offer pro audio work. That means editing your podcast audio, music, whatever! Pro audio is expensive but my passion and I’ll help out anyone sweet enough to do me a solid. If you think you would be a good match to help, send me a message! I have no idea if you can message on ao3 but my username is vigilantedr on fanfiction.net so please reach out to me there


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Brief mention of past non-con, skip the italic text with Jack's flashback if you need to skip it for your safety!

The asari bitch has the nerve to smile at Jack, her white teeth glinting over the barrel of her pistol trained on the head of the struggling biotic. 

It had only been minutes since….whatever had happened….had taken place, and the convict found herself struggling for the first time since she had created pure chaos in the sterile Genex building.

She had been toying with a group of the mercenaries when it happened, using her power to slam them into each other. Their own weapons discharged as they crashed into each other,  dispatching their own in bright flashes. They were helpless. Projectiles bending to the biotic’s will. 

The mercenaries had corralled Jack upstairs with seemingly unending waves of new guns, chasing her as she was forced back through the building. And yet, she had not considered herself captured then. Not when she ran up the stairs, leaving a trail of blood on the metallic walls from the mercenaries behind her. Not even when she entered that narrow hall, the cold iron floor making her footsteps echo as she ran. And certainly not when her back was finally pressed against a wall, the doors around her flashing red denying any entry.

Trapping Jack in a narrow hall  upstairs was a terrific tactic to render most adversaries helpless, but the survivalist biotic was at her best with her back against a wall. Something about walls and enemies surrounding her transformed the biotic into an animal, a dog lashing out with sharpened fangs to escape the cage intended for her. The mercenaries paid for their mistake , in attempting to cage the wild biotic , with their lives. 

When it happened, the end of her wild combat against them was near. The biotic began to see the end to the bodies she was thrashing through like nothing. She raised her hand to launch yet another attack. Only nothing happened. She saw blue electricity fizzle from her fingertips.” The power surging through her nervous system sends a shock to her extremities instead, causing her to cry out. 

The mercenary closest to her took pause, clearly in shock he still had his very life. But, the shock did not last long enough. His body covered pinned Jack’s as he ran into her small frame. His heavy armor knocks the air out of the smaller woman’s lungs as she fell to the ground.

Then she was being lifted, two pairs of gloved hands groping for a hold on her as they lifted her thrashing body to her feet. Without her biotic powers, Jack’s attempted blows are incredibly less formidable. Yet, she doesn’t stop attempting to rain down any sort of punishment she can manage for the two guards trying to restrain her. She had refused to stand, kicking her feet out at the guards every time they had tried to set her on them. Finally, the two had roughly forced her to her knees, guns trained on both side of her head.

The asari came then, gracefully stepping over the bodies littering the hall A dead end. Her boots making a defining click with each step on the metallic floor.  __ Her features narrowed in a vengeful smile when she saw Jack on the ground, glee evident in her features as she took in the state of confusion that had been funneled into frustrated attempts to violently attack her men holding the biotic. 

“Subject Zero, my have you been a thorn in the side of this company.” 

Jack doesn’t respond, but her thrashing subsides as she notices yet another weapon trained on her head. 

_ Fuck….breaking their dicks off isn’t going to do much if she paints the walls with my head… _

Taking a deep breath, the convict’s mind races through possible reasons for her sudden inability to use her dominant biotic powers. Was it her Eezo levels? Probably not, Jack was well aware she was a biotic specimen few could match, capable of performing exhausting biotic attacks with even a few grains of Element Zero coursing through her blood. Even when the biotic was dehydrated, starved, on the brink of collapse, she could tear a heavy duty mech apart limb by limb. That power was a gift the experiments had meant to create in her.

Jack thrashes her head as if to keep herself from delving into those memories. The two guards beside her bring their guns closer to her in response, pressing the barrels to her tattooed  temples. Jack grits her teeth and wills herself to step back from the edge of falling into memory of starving alone in her cell, going days without food just because those bastards wanted to see if a deprived specimen could still use a biotic lift…fuck. That’s it.

The convict’s eyes well with tears at the memory, but she allows herself to experience it.  Only because she knew she had seen this level of biotic censorship before, and anything she remembered, could possibly get her out alive.

_ Jack is shaking, bile is the only substance in her stomach and it makes her went to bend over and throw it all up, but she has nothing in herself to expel. A scientist takes her by the shoulder and forces her forward, forward to a stack of metal crates an adult biotic would struggle to send airborne.  _

_ “Zero. You will receive one portion of rations when this is completed, but not a moment sooner. Lift. Those. CRATES!” The man’s voice is hoarse as he shouts. Jack couldn’t tell if it was naturally that gravelly, or if he simply shouted so often his voice could never recover. _

_ Jack sniffles, and closes her eyes. Her head is light from lack of sustenance. Her thoughts barely form coherently as her core instincts beg her to address them. As she extends her arm, her thoughts cease to form. Only emotion courses through her thoughts. _

_ The scientist isn’t expecting it. He isn’t expecting for her to turn on him. The blue light envelops him before he can retaliate and he is slapped into the wall violently. His body makes an deep indentation in the metal.  _

_ With an animalistic scream, Jack begins to tear him apart. Her biotics rip his arm from his limp body and tossing it across the room. It flies like it was nothing more than a training baton. _

_ Jack wants this. She wants him to suffer like she has. She doesn’t react when his screams join hers. Or when his course voice begging for mercy in a series of yelps that barely resemble words. He hadn’t shown her mercy when he had forced himself upon her. She responds in kind.  _

_ Suddenly, as Jack flails her arms once more, glee overtaking her as she prepares to tear the man’s head from his shoulders, the blue envelope surrounding her dissipates. Shred of light from grates in the ceiling are now the only light illuminating her fist. The impulses she had called travel through her body and cause her sharp pain instead. A sharp pain she attempts to forcibly ignore. She lashes out again, willing her biotics to her, but again, the man’s head stays on his body. Jack shrieks in a combination of rage and pain. _

_ It’s only moments before the scientists have her, dragging her kicking and screaming body to a cage on the far side of the room. A medical professional runs to her victim’s side, shouting orders to a small team to fetch him supplies for the man. _

_ “Good thing we have that prototype biotic dampener….she would have killed him if Kirkpatrix hadn’t turned it on when he did.” _

_ “I don’t care about his pathetic life...did that machine of yours do anything to her biotic ability permanently?!” _

_ “No sir. It sends a signal to the nervous system to prevent an electric charge from being received in the eezo nodules of the biotic. It redirects the charge to stimulate the originator with pain, to condition the biotic against continual attempts to summon biotic energy. A lesser biotic would be rendered unconscious or otherwise, but it just shocks Zero. When we stop sending that signal, she can use her biotics as demonstrated. It’s a fantastic device, we’ve designed ourselves...” _

_ “I don’t care. Don’t stop sending that signal until I’m out of this god-forsaken room.” _

The asari’s cruel laugh shakes Jack from her flashback, and the mercenary steps forward, making a show of harshly wiping the few tears that had escaped the convict’s eyes from her cheeks. Jack doesn’t react as the asari touches her, the convict’s body slumped in defeat as she grapples with the realization that the same device must be present to have the same paralyzing effect on her biotics.

_ She could never escape them... _

“I never thought you’d be on your knees when you died Zero. And crying? Fucking crying? Pathetic. I’ve killed slaves with more fight in them at the end than you. Maybe your friends will squeal a bit more when Archer wastes them downstairs. They’re only one floor below us you know...you came so close….and failed. Maybe I’ll give you the privilege of bleeding out slowly so you can hear them when they die through the floor. Since you let me hear my men die at your hands!”

The asari’s voice is colored with emotion, an emotion Jack understands perfectly. Vengeance. The convict would almost feel something for her, if she wasn’t working for a group of scientists Jack wanted to slaughter more than she wanted to breathe tomorrow. However, though Jack does not empathize with the asari, she understands her, something she can use to her advantage.

Though Jack was not incredibly well versed on how the biotic dampener worked, her flashback has provided her with valuable knowledge. The knowledge that the dampener worked on a subject’s nervous system, and if a lesser biotic than Jack attempted to invoke their skills, they would be rendered unconscious. Maybe even die.  _ If I can convince her that her biotics still work...maybe she’ll try to use them on me to satisfy her vengeance hard-on and fry herself. But how? Maybe, maybe I can use this bitch’s asari superiority complex against her….convince her it only works on humans... _

“I didn’t just kill them.”

“What did you just say?”

“I said, I didn’t just kill them.” The best psychopathic grin Jack can imitate spreads across her face, and she smiles at the asari, her eyes wild once more. The asari’s eyes flash, her bottom jaw jutting out in annoyance, and Jack knows she has her.

“I tortured them. Ripped them apart limb from limb with my biotics. They died, and not without pain. Helpless, like bugs being picked apart by a child. It’s the worst way to die asari, and anything you do to me won’t compare. You’re about to give me an end I didn’t even consider gifting to your fucking piss poor mercenaries.

“I can be pretty creative you bitch. I will give you much worse!!”

“I doubt that, seeing as you haven’t even been fucking creative enough to stumble upon the idea that your piece of shit biotic dampener doesn’t even work on natural biotics like asari. That bullshit device isn’t so special, it was built on Pragia, just like me. And only one of us became something impressive. That garbage targets human implants dumbass. But I’m only telling you because I know, oh I know, you don’t have the power to rip me limb from limb. And I want you to know that, when it’s finally over, I’ll sleep like a goddamn baby knowing I didn’t suffer like they did.”

The asari fumes, her shoulders shaking with pure hatred.

“Stand back!” She suddenly shrieks, and the two men holding Jack release her, their guns still trained on her small body. 

The asari faces Jack then, her body in a stance suited only for biotic combat.

_ If I’m right….she’s about to get a fucking beautiful surprise. If I’m wrong, maybe I’ll die quickly before she tears me apart…. _

The asari sticks out her fist then, her entire body starting to glow with biotic energy. Dread sets over Jack as she wrestles with the thought that she may have remembered incorrectly, that the device might work on implants as she had bluffed and not host nervous systems...  

Her dangerous bet is rewarded moments later when the blue light suddenly disappears, the asari screaming as energy attacks her nervous system. She convulses multiple times, her expression of hate frozen on her face as her body falls to the ground. Both guards on either side of Jack react predictably, their attention leaving the small biotic when the asari begins to convulse. 

The convict is ready for the opportunity, and with a tap to her wrist, her omni blade is activated and being thrust clean through the closest mercenary’s neck. He doesn’t even manage to scream before the life leaves his eyes, and Jack lifts his lifeless body dangling from her tool in front of her to absorb the fire the other guard unleashes upon her.

Using the body as a shield, Jack charges him, her omni blade shattering against the metal wall she rushes into, but not before she stakes her second victim upon it, both falling lifelessly as the blade shatters.

_ Fuck, I hope Jacob has another one of these bitches in the armory. I like watching vids on mine. _

Taking a moment to kneel by the asari to double check there was in fact not a pulse in her body, Jack strips her of her expensive pistol, taking every clip she can find and shoving them down the pockets of her prison jumpsuit pockets. 

_ If she had to rescue the cheerleader and blue bitch without her biotics, then she fucking would. Maybe the additional supplies would give her an edge. _

The convict lifts one of the rifles laying beside the dead guards, but the weapon is bulky, more likely to slow down her progress than aid her. She sets it down in a split second decision, and strips each man of their side arms and ammo, tucking them in the pockets of her jumpsuit. Maybe Liara and Miranda could make use them when she found them. They would have to, since there was no way she was going to be able to swiftly deliver two heavy duty assault rifles to them. 

Edging herself down the hall from which the asari had come, Jack takes a pause at the corner, listening for any additional mercenaries. To her pleasant surprise, she hears nothing, not even the click of a boot.

_ They must think the asari bitch was a lock to kill me without my biotics...now where did they all go... _

To be truthful, Jack doesn’t care where they went, as long as it wasn’t one floor down to where the asari had blabbed Liara and Miranda were being held. 

_ Where the fuck is Shep… _ Jack muses, finding it very odd she had heard not a word of chatter from a single mercenary mentioning the Commander…  _ She better get her big ass down here soon...shit, she needs to be warned not to use her biotics… _

Jack instinctively reaches for her omni-tool, only to paw the shattered remnants of the device. 

_ Shit….shit….I need to warn her….with Shep’s power she’ll fry herself trying to charge one of these fuckers if I don’t. Hopefully Miranda and Liara still have their comms… _

And with that thought, Jack hustles to the stairway, not a single guard blocking her as she makes her way downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to the literally awesome Sayahiei for beta-ing this one. And for being patient for me while I took forever with work and personal life to finally get this one up!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of past non-con (non-graphic) please proceed with care dear friends. If you like the story but are worried about getting triggered, send me a message and I'll summarize this chapter for you without so you don't have to read any triggering stuff and can continue to read and understand the story.
> 
> Next chapter coming your way is a return to Shepard! And the beginning of their escape!

Jack pauses at the landing door, bending down to her haunches to listen against the metal. Once again, Jack is greeted with the pleasant sound of nothing.

With a tap to the panel, the door separates, allowing the convict entrance. Unlike the floor above, the halls on this level are dark, outdated light fixtures blinking along the paths. Setting her hips into a combat position as Shepard had once instructed her, Jack holds her pistol ready before her, leading with her weapon as she edges down the hall.

The first hall has only a single unguarded door within it, the green light casting a reflection in the metal floor eerily bright in the dark. Though it is an unlikely place for Archer to be holding two very valuable hostages, Jack approaches it anyway, knowing better than to make any assumptions in the lair of a mad man.

Pressing the pressure pad with her shoulder, Jack immediately pushes her gun through the door, ready to fire upon anyone within the dark space. The room fills with light on a motion sensor in response to Jack’s entrance, and what the convict sees is far more horrifying to her than a squad of armed mercenaries.

An apparatus made up of four large poles with innumerable tubes extending from them is in the center of the small chamber, a ring in the center sized to hold a single body. _David’s._ The device is an exact replica of the disgusting apparatus the Commander had led them to find on Aite, perhaps smaller in size, but as far as Jack could tell, not a single component was missing.

_So Shepard was right...Archer is behind this….and he has Miranda…._

Jack’s breathing is ragged, her body shaking as she stands before the tool that had ruined David’s life. She wants to run. She wants to run to Archer and rip him apart for doing this, for planning on doing this again. She wants to run to Miranda, to tear away anything from their path away from this place. She wants to run to Shepard, she wants to hear her friend’s comforting voice promising her it would never be her again….

She doesn’t do any of those things. Her body stays motionless as if paralyzed by fear. Flashbacks suddenly assault her... tears leaking from her eyes at the memory.

_She’s in a cage, a needle being forced through her neck…_

_Stop. Stop fucking thinking, Miranda needs you…._

_She’s in a makeshift arena, the screams of another experiment child drowning out her sobs as she’s forced to tear them apart…_

_Get a hold of yourself….they will die if you don’t move…_

_She’s in David’s place, countless tubes causing her body to ache, tears streaming down her face as she’s unable to blink them away…._

_NO_

_Miranda is in David’s place…_

_NO GOD NO_

Jack nearly, sobs wracking her body. She does not fall somehow, and manages to will herself out of there, backing out of the room, her eyes still trained on the machine.

Suddenly, she’s running. Jack has no idea when she started running, or where she’s going, but she moves, barrelling down the hall to the next, and to the next.

A door comes into sight, guarded by two heavily armed men that don’t open fire, but quizzically look at the half dressed sobbing woman barrelling towards them.

“Is that…..”

“It can’t be…”

Before either guard can finish their thoughts, they’re both dead, laying on the floor with multiple bullet wounds in each of their helmets. Jack doesn’t clearly remember killing them, but she knows she has, and she tosses them to the side unceremoniously before barreling through the door.

A guard is the next being to enter Jack’s vision, and she grabs him by the neck, not even bothering to lift her pistol as she twists until the life leaves him, his body growing limp in the biotic’s hands. Jack is vaguely aware tears are still streaming down her face, leaking onto the body in her hands.

“J...Jack?”

She drops the guard, her attention turning to the large cage-like cell on the far side of the room, containing Miranda and Liara. The room is meager, only a few crates likely containing equipment pertaining to the one item of horror inside it, a cage. The cage is massive, with rows and columns of thin metal bars all connected to an electric lock on the front of the structure. Between the bars, a light blue electric field is barely visible to the naked eye, but has a faint shimmer the biotic picks up on. The cage and the electric field building it spans from the floor to the ceiling, its length nearly spanning the length of the wall it is built against.

Jack has no idea which of them said her name, but each of them look frightened by the outburst, their eyes wide as they look at the convict. Liara especially seems unnerved, her eyes betraying her fear at the unstable biotic that didn’t seem to like her much in a decent mood.  Miranda recovers first, her face changing from that of genuine fear and surprise to one of...concern? Jack immediately rejects the idea.

_Goddammit….I don’t know why I’m here...the cheerleader might be a little bit like you. But she doesn’t care about you. You are a mistake._

Jack steels herself, roughly wiping her face in her hands and attempting to put on her most convincing apathetic mask.

“Fancy seeing you here, Cheerleader. You’re going to owe me quite a few bottles of ryncol and some peace and quiet from your high and mighty lectures for getting you out of this one.”

“Jack…” Miranda repeats again, her face etched with concern for the younger woman. However, Jack’s walls are already deployed again, and the agent is very aware there would be no comforting the tattooed woman.

“I’m surprised to see you,” Miranda says softly.

Liara nods, her voice soft, as if he was afraid of speaking too loud would trigger the unpredictable biotic’s rage. “As am I.”

“Stop looking like a scared puppy, T’Soni. I’m here to rescue you too. Hoping if I do, Shep will give me her fancy new flamethrower she told me I’m not allowed to touch.”

Neither woman sees to believe the lame excuse, but Liara looks grateful nonetheless, offering Jack a small smile.

“Is….is she here?” Liara inquires. Jack cocks an eyebrow in response, stalking around the room to evaluate the large metal cell the two were being held within.

“She has the coordinates. I beat her here though. Do either of you have working omni-tools? We need to contact her. They’re using a biotic dampener, technology I know from Pragia. If our Vanguard moron tries to light up blue she could shock herself to death.”

Miranda’s face falls when Jack mentions the use of Pragia tech in their current situation, and Jack tries to ignore her concerned gaze practically burning into the side of her face.

“I said, call Shepard!” Jack grits her teeth impatiently.

“On it.” Liara responds, tapping away at her omni-tool already. The asari’s fingers are trembling slightly, slightly shaken from Jack’s mention of Shepard having the ability to hurt herself if they didn’t reach her.

“Who is they?” Miranda asks, attempting to keep the concern she has for the other woman out of her tone. Jack was very clearly uninterested in it.

“Archer. Shepard said she had a hunch he was involved. She was right. There’s a cell just down the hall with an exact replica of that fucking machine he had his brother in on Aite.”

“Oh God...”

“We can talk about what to do with that evil fucking prick later. How do I open this fucking thing?” Jack snaps, gearing up as if she was planning to punch the bars.

“You need credentials to open it manually. With  your skills it would be possible to tear the door open manually, but if what you’re saying is true, I guess biotics are out of the question.”

“IF what I’m saying is true?!”

“I did not mean it like that. I meant I personally have not attempted to use my biotics in captivity due to the weapons trained on our heads for the duration, so I have no verifiable knowledge a dampener is in play. The guards guarding us were not biotics.”

“Well trust me for one goddamn moment and don’t fucking use them unless you want the kind of verifiable knowledge that hurts like a stake up the ass!”

“I believe you Jack,” Miranda replies coldly, narrowing her eyes at the convict. “It was in the Cerberus file on Pragia. I know a dampening device exists and I trust you to be able to identify it if it is here.”

Jack doesn’t respond to the operative’s statement, and instead begins to search the body of the guard she had broken upon entry.

“You won’t find the right credentials on him…”

“Do you have anything fucking good to say?”

“He’s a disposable guard, Jack. Didn’t you learn in your numerous stints in prison they don’t leave the key to the cells with any random hired gun?”

“Stop fighting!” Liara’s voice is shrill; her sudden outburst directs both of her companions’ attention to her. Liara’s cheeks redden when they turn to her, as if embarrassed for the interruption.

“I...Goddess….I’m sorry. No...I’m not sorry. You both need to control yourselves if we’re going to leave here alive. I tried to contact Shepard as you suggested Jack, she’s not responding. However, there is a static response from my omni tool when I attempt to contact her.”

Jack stares at Liara as if she was the dumbest person alive, crossing her arms.

“So? What the fuck does static have to do with fucking anything?”

“Jack!” Miranda scolds, turning her nose up at the convict. 

_God forbid she miss an opportunity to be high and mighty..._

“The static is an indication Shepard’s communicator is in close proximity, leading to feedback. Shepard is here...somewhere. Her communicator must be silenced while she’s in the building…” Liara continues.

“Great. Where the fuck is she?”

“Unknown. I don’t understand why you came in before her. The Commander is a superior soldier capable of dispatching almost every one of these guards even without her biotics. She’s a proven marksman.” Miranda interjects, placing her hands on her hips.

“Save it.”

“If I may….” Liara straightens up, her eyes brightening slightly at the idea Shepard was somewhere close, and very capable of navigating the dangerous building without her signature biotic charge. “The guards mentioned before Jack arrived that one of our captor’s associates would be coming down shortly to film us in our predicament for a vid message to lure Shepard here. Perhaps that associate is still on his way? You said you hadn’t seen Shepard...they most likely haven’t either. She’s...very capable of protecting herself. I...think.” Liara remarks, dragging out her last sentences as if she were only trying to convince herself of its truth. Jack wants to roll her eyes at the irrational concern, Shepard was more likely to kill everyone in this building than get killed herself.

“Why is he still coming down here a fucking good thing?”

“Because he might have a credential to open our cell.”

Jack nods at the response, finally understanding the asari’s plan.

“So I hide, kill them with the element of surprise, then we all walk out of here and find Shepard.”

“Precisely.”

“A fucking plan that makes sense...I can deal with that. I stole two extra pistols, can you two shoot at them through those bars and cover me?”

“Firing into a an electrically charged field sustained by bars is suicide, Jack,” Miranda replies matter of factly, as if Jack should somehow be as knowledgeable as her about their current predicament.

“Sorry Cheerleader, I don’t put people in cages so I don’t know all about the newest trends in them.”

“Are you fucking KIDDING me Jack?”

“Stop it!” Liara hisses as the sound of a large company of boots echoes down the hall outside the door to the small room.

Jack immediately leaps into action, piling the few crates in the room into a makeshift wall nearby the cage. Taking her position behind it, Jack affords herself a final glance to the cage to look over Miranda.

_She looks okay, not badly injured or anything. They didn’t dare do anything to make her any less hot, or an experiment again._

Jack decides not to think about the relief in her chest at seeing the operative mostly intact, and immediately chastises herself for thinking of Miranda’s attractiveness.

_Cool it, she’s still the Cheerleader. Perfect tits and all._

Before Jack can really analyze _that_ thought, the metal door is sliding open with a hiss, a rather formidable squad of mercenaries entering along with a skinny man in a lab coat.

_Why the fuck do they need so many guys to take a vid?_

“Jack!” Miranda whispers harshly, and Jack shimmies closer to the cage behind her hiding spot.

“There’s too many of them. We need a new plan.”

“I’ll kill all of these fucked up pricks.”

“Not with that goddamn pistol Jack!”

“Excuse me?” The man in the lab coat interjects, walking before the cage. “Did you say something to me?”  
  
“No, I was just asking how long you plan to hold us,” Miranda replies coolly, her face hardening as if she was of course telling the truth.

“Not long at all.”

A wicked smile spreads across the man’s face, and he gestures to one of the guards in his detail to the cage’s control panel. The guard swipes a thin chit before the sensor, and the large metal bars part and slide open. The moment it does however, every guard in the room trains their weapon on the two hostages.

“We are under the impression that you are now a liability to Dr. Archer’s magnificent plan. Since you hold no value to our goal of continued scientific progress without being attacked by our previous employer for simply making strides in research, your captivity and lives end here.”

_No….no, no, no…_

Jack nearly leaps from behind the crates then, but the six guns trained on Miranda and Liara’s bodies keep her in wait, looking for an opportunity.

“That’s all you want? Protection from the Illusive Man? Don’t you know who I am?” Miranda’s voice is admirably steady for the amount of weapons ready to end her life.

“I do not need to know, I know you’re worth less to the Illusive Man than Shepard. And at this moment, that is quite simply at that matters.”

Miranda cocks her hip, as if she is actually offended their captor had not heard of her. Though Jack had to admit, it was strange a man who previously worked for Archer and Cerberus wasn’t aware of who Miranda was.

“My name is Miranda Lawson. I’m one of the few Cerberus operatives that directly answers to the Illusive Man. My companion is Dr. T’Soni, an asari that has the Illusive Man in her debt for services rendered years ago. I don’t believe killing us is going to put you on his good side,” Miranda states coldly.

Jack analyzes their reactions carefully, ready to take her chances with the small force if they decided to complete the execution they had been assigned. Instead, the man raises his hand, and each guard lowers their weapons.

“I have heard of you. Perhaps Dr. Archer was wrong, you may be of use.”

The tone of his words unsettles Jack. If it bothers Miranda, she doesn’t show it.

“You,” the man points to one of his guards, beckoning him to attention. “Go see Dr. Archer, tell him we have Henry Lawson’s daughter in custody. His attention could be worth far more than that of the Illusive Man. I won’t allow them killed until this new development is discussed.”

The guard nods, and wordlessly leaves the room. Jack had heard Miranda mention her issues with her father in passing enough before to understand the vague situation. It was to her understanding the cheerleader’s father had engineered her to be perfect, then tossed her aside, leading to her immense daddy issues. She does not expect the effect a mere mention of him has on the operative, and wonders if the engineering was quite different than she imagined.

“Henry...Lawson?” Miranda manages, her face as white as a sheet. To Jack’s annoyance, Liara seems to understand the facts behind the unsettling situation a bit more, and puts a comforting hand on Miranda’s arm in a gesture of support. The operative squeezes it gratefully before Liara releases her.

_Of course she fucking knows more about Cerberus’ daddy issues than I do. She is an information broker. Why do you even fucking care to know about him?_

“My father was an associate of yours Ms. Lawson, I know very much about you. And what your father is capable of,” the man says, looking over Miranda appreciatively, There is a danger in his eyes Jack immediately identifies. The way his eyes linger on Miranda’s body causing the operative to squirm uncomfortably make Jack want to tear him apart. “We were hoping to use our captured Commander as trading material to recover our subject matter and ensure we wouldn’t find ourselves the target of Cerberus assassins for defecting, but you can’t trust Cerberus to leave you alone when you truly leave. Henry Lawson could give us protection in return for you.”

At the mention of Shepard being in their custody as well, Liara’s eyes widen, her mouth opening in shock as if she were fighting for the words to retaliate only to find none. Jack wishes she could tell her to relax. They weren’t planning on killing Shepard, she was in the least danger of all of them. The real danger in the man’s statement was that with Shepard in their clutches, the faction had no use for the rest of them. The bastard could kill them now if he wanted. The asari needed to focus on that. But telling Liara any of that probably wouldn’t change her panic anyway, she seemed irrationally freaked out any time danger found the Commander.

_Why the fuck is she worrying so much? Shep is fine._

As if to answer her own question, realization dawns on the biotic.  
_  
_ _Because she loves Shepard too._

_Well isn’t that peachy. Maybe they’ll fuck and stop being shitheads about this. I’m going to smack the tentacles off her head if she doesn’t tell Shepard._

Jack is brought out of her thoughts when she notices the lab coat wearing man is now _very_ close to Miranda. Too close for Jack’s comfort.

“You were of so much use to your father, I bet he was quite incensed when you left him.”

“I escaped,” Miranda says in a shaky voice, her eyes narrowing as the man came closer to her. “I didn’t like being of use to him.”

“Your talents surely haven’t faded...you’ll probably be more valuable now than you were years ago. My father knew yours years ago when he was a biotic researcher, a man who explored the possibilities of the reave capability in a human biotic. Henry Lawson tried to buy his research so many times...but never did seem to convince my father to allow him to have it. Then one day, that research goes missing, and my father hears a rumor Henry Lawson’s biotic _experiment…”_ The word experiment drips out of his mouth with disgust, his eyes flashing with hate as he faces Miranda, “....is one of the only humans managing to perform a successful reave. Not surprising, when your father stole anything, it was usually something to improve upon his little pet.” 

Miranda’s eyes are red, brimming with tears. She says nothing in response, a silent confirmation she was well aware her father had stolen countless amounts of research data, and used it on her as experiment.

For the first time, Jack really sees Miranda. She sees why the cold woman clung to Cerberus so tightly as if it were a safety blanket for a child. Her father hadn’t just rejected her, she had been abused to be nothing more than an experiment just like Jack had been. In different ways, probably to different extents, but the parallel was there, and it was not lost on the convict. Jack wants to leap from her hiding place and tear the lab coat’s head off for invoking Miranda’s past, but she forces herself to remain hidden. With Shepard captured and a handful of guns ready to kill her caged companions, Miranda’s negotiation could be their only hope to walk out of this as alive as Shepard would be.

“Do you know how your father stole my father’s research, Ms. Lawson?”

Miranda doesn’t respond, and looks down at the ground, her breathing fast as if the story was invoking a panic in her Jack didn’t know the cocky woman was capable of feeling. The operative was always so self assured and in control of every situation. It frustrated the convict, but at the moment, she wished for that bitch to surface, to tell off the horrible prick torturing her.

“I’ll tell you if you don’t remember.” Suddenly, the lab coat has his hands on Miranda, one on her neck, and the other on her back, holding her body close to his. Liara takes a step towards them in response, only to have one of the guards point his rifle at her chest, stopping her in her tracks.

“Henry Lawson lent his daughter to my father’s head of security as a plaything for a night, and while he was allowed his way with you, my father’s research curiously went missing. All because Henry Lawson was able to weaponize your unnaturally engineered body, my father was ruined! Tell me, did you volunteer to be with so many older men for their resources? Or did he force you, you worthless harlot?”

If Miranda was going to respond, she isn’t given the chance. Jack has heard enough, and she can’t stand his hands on the clearly vulnerable cheerleader a moment longer. Before she can think through a rational plan of attack, the biotic is already moving as if on a rage fueled autopilot. She rips the man away from Miranda in a split-second, and sinks the shards of her broken omni-tool into his neck, piercing his body again and again in a blind rage.

“You don’t fucking touch her!!”

“Jack!” Miranda cries out, but it’s too late. Several guards have their weapons pressed to the heads of Miranda and Liara, rendering them helpless as another fires into the body of the small biotic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Sayahiei is an incredible beta who really helped me get this next chapter up so fast. Happy to work with them<3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: another slight mention of past non-con (non-graphic) please proceed with care dear friends. If you like the story but are worried about getting triggered, send me a message and I'll summarize this chapter for you without so you don't have to read any triggering stuff and can continue to read and understand the story.

Blackness, to a woman like Jack, is a comforting place. It was an escape on Pragia. A short reprieve from the real horrors taking place before her eyes. Jack hated color. Color was dangerous; it was blood. It was blood on blankets, and children, and the only grass growing in between the metal slabs on the floor. Blackness was safe. A safe place where no one could touch her, because no one can could disappear to the same blackness as another.

Or at least she thought. 

Jack is startled from her peace by a strange feeling, a pressure on her arm as if someone is touching her. She thrashes against it, thrashes and then suddenly: her eyes are open.

“Jack!” 

“Miranda?”

“Thank the goddess, she’s alive.”

The convict is a bit shocked when her blurry vision focuses to an image of Miranda Lawson, kneeling beside her, the operative’s hand placed comfortingly on the tattooed woman’s arm. Miranda’s eyes are still brimmed with tears, but a small smile appears on her face at the sight of the mother woman’s consciousness.

“What the fuck happened?”

Miranda opens her mouth as if trying to respond, but the operative is choked up from the emotional response to seeing that Jack was, in fact, alive. She makes a faint sound trying to speak, and Liara walks into Jack’s vision from the other side of the cage, leaping into the conversation to allow her to take a moment to compose herself and save face.

“You attacked Doctor Archer’s associate. There...were too many guards. They fired on you almost instantly when you dispatched him. You dodged most of the shots that likely would have killed you, but a concussive shot rendered you unconscious. Ms. Lawson and I had weapons to our temples so we weren’t much help…” Liara trails off, the guilt in her voice evident. Jack tries to scowl a little less at her to make her more comfortable. She understood. It would have been suicide for either of them to try to join the fray.

“We… didn’t see how many bullets hit your body… if any. We thought you were dead.” Jack glances towards Miranda as Liara admits this, only to see the woman is intentionally trying not to meet her eyes. Miranda’s chest is moving rapidly though, her breaths quick and uneven. She does not release her hold on Jack’s arm.

“When they seized you, they placed you in this cell with us. When we had you, we were able to determine you had been burned by a few rounds. But for the most part, you would likely recover.”

Jack moves to sit up, curious to inspect her body to see what sort of damage she had sustained. She would need to fight through her injuries, they weren’t safe yet and she couldn’t just lie steady while the others tried to plan their escape. 

As she sits, her abs contracting, a sharp pain travels up her spine. Her ribs feel as if she had been beaten repeatedly, and Jack grimaces as she realizes she had likely broken a few when she took the beating. She pauses in her motion to sit up, Miranda’s grip tightening on her wrist. Miranda says nothing, but looks into Jack’s eyes with an expression of pure concern. It makes Jack uncomfortable. She had not known the operative to be at a loss for words, or to look at her like that. Taking a solid breath, Jack pushes herself to sit up fully. She violently jerks her wrist out of Miranda’s grip, suddenly uncomfortable with the intimacy of the look the other woman was giving her. She glares at the operative once free, an animalistic scowl she had perfected to keep people at a distance, yet Miranda seems unaffected. 

“According to the little radio chatter we were able to overhear as they left, I believe that particular squad is going to join the officer that had been sent away to inform Archer of the situation and Ms. Lawson’s identity. Ms. Lawson’s identity will buy us a little time while they debate away whether or not they should kill us, but not much...They could decide any second to come in and kill you and I since Henry Lawson would not be interested in us. Or, they could decide any second to kill us all.” Liara says a bit flatly, her tone betraying she was not hopeful in their chances of escape. She didn’t mention Shepard or the new information that the soldier was in their captivity, but Jack can tell by her rigid body, that the broker is definitely thinking about it.

“Shep is fine. You fucking know that right? That damn Spectre has better chances than the three of us put together.” Jack says a bit harshly, and she silently scolds herself for saying something she meant to be assuring in such a rude tone. Liara’s eyes widen a bit, obviously taken off guard by Jack’s bluntness.  
  
Jack sighs, and smooths a hand over the top of her head nervously. “I...I just mean they’re not going to kill her. They need her. They don’t need us. I know you fucking care about her… or whatever, so you’re worried...but just...fucking don’t. We need to focus.”

Liara nods, a small thankful smile crossing her features. Though it wasn’t perfect, it was as close to a reassurance as Jack could give and she appreciated the effort.

Jack scans the room. The metal walls are scorched from bullets that never connected and small streaks of blood dot the floor. Beside the cage, the body of the man Jack killed is still contorted on the floor. His lab coat is soaked in his own blood, and shards of Jack’s broken omni-tool are sticking out of his body and littering the metal floor around him. The moment Jack sees him, hate begins to boil in her body again as she remembers what he said to Miranda. How he fucking touched her. Fighting against her own instinct to respond with more murderous rage, Jack forces herself to breathe. There was no one in the room to direct the rage towards, and Miranda didn’t seem all right. The convict did not in any way consider herself a comforting person, but she knew what it felt like to be an abused experiment forced to do things you never wanted to do. She should say something. 

Before she can turn her attention to the kneeling woman beside her, Miranda snaps back to life suddenly, and starts swatting Jack repeatedly.

“WHY”

_ Swat _

“IN”

_ Swat _

“BLOODY HELL”

_ Swat _

“DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY FUCKING MEDI-GEL ON YOU.”

“What the fuck?”

“THEY STRIPPED ME AND LIARA OF OURS, THEY DIDN’T CHECK YOUR BODY. WE COULD HAVE USED IT ON YOU GODDAMMIT. ARE YOU TRYING TO GET KILLED JACK?! REALLY!”

“Miranda!” Liara interjects, leaning down and putting her arms around Miranda’s midsection, bringing her away from the biotic and to her feet. “Goddess, do you really think its wise to attack her right now? She just woke up!”

Jack chuckles, her trademark glare back in place as she watches the red-faced, flailing biotic be dragged away and restrained by the small framed scientist.

“Easy T’Soni, she wasn’t hurting me. Cheerleader doesn’t pack a punch. And for your fucking information ice queen, my speciality is surviving. I only gave my medi-gel away because I needed the fucking bartender in Eternity conscious so I could find out where the fuck you two went. Excuse the shit out of me for trying to help.”

“So that’s how you found us…” Liara muses, realization dawning on her features.

“Why did you even go looking for us, Jack?” Miranda retorts, shaking Liara off of her. Her nostrils are flaring, each small step towards Jack a dangerous one. “The last time I saw you, you accused me of using you! Of manipulating you! Of trying to get inside your pants just to burn stress! How dare you insinuate I would do anything of the sort!” Miranda is seething now, her emotions unhinged from the exchange with the man and believing she had seen Jack die in front of her in back to back moments.

“Getting in your pants is the last thing I want to do in this galaxy, you Convict. Don’t flatter yourself! You said I tried to trick you when I said I knew what it was like to be an experiment, well do you believe me now Jack?! Did you have to come and get yourself captured with us and make the entire situation a thousand times more precarious with your hot head just to find some proof for yourself that I was telling the truth?!”

“You’re being fucking crazy. How was I supposed to know I’d find a character from your bullshit tragic backstory here? I just came to save your fucking life!” Jack crosses her arms, standing steady as if to warn the advancing operative she would not be moved. Or threatened. 

Jack knows Miranda is being irrational because of her toxic emotional state, but it infuriates her anyway. She has never seen Miranda this angry, even when they nearly warped each other into the bulkhead it had been Jack screaming, not the operative. Liara seems to be thinking along the same lines, concern etched across her face as she backs away from Miranda.

“....Miranda maybe you should…” Liara attempts to interject, but her fragile voice is immediately drowned out by another outburst from the operative. 

“Don’t toy with me! Why are you here Jack? You don’t care about anyone enough to risk your miserable life and Dr. T’Soni and I are two people on which you’ve made your feelings quite clear! Did Shepard make you? Or are you here to sabotage Shepard rescuing us? That’s what you want isn’t it, a Normandy where your bitch of an XO isn’t there to keep your violent outbursts in check!”

Jack growls, leaping to her feet despite her injuries so she can square up against the raging operative. Jack was an animal, and Miranda had poked through the cage far too much than she would allow, even in Miranda’s compromised state.

“I just fucking SAID I was the one who found out where you are! Shep had no fucking clue you were gone until I contacted her. Do you really think I’m a heartless test tube and Cerberus love child that came all the way here just to fucking made sure you never got out of here? Do you want to know why I fucking came Cheerleader?”

“That’s enough!” Liara finally springs into action, placing herself between the two women. She places one hand on each of them, effectively spacing them from each other. “Miranda, don’t you think you’re being sufficiently unreasonable? Jack defended you from Dr. Archer’s associate. It may not have been the best move tactically, but I don’t think you have a case that the move in itself was inherently wrong or made to harm our situation. Regardless, we will all be as deceased as he is if we keep fighting and waste precious time we need to be using formulating an escape plan!”

The only noise for a moment is Miranda and Jack’s breath, each of them huffing in rage as they kept their eyes locked on one other. Miranda is the first to pull away, taking a step back from Liara’s reach, never glancing away from Jack’s predatory look.

“Fine. I don’t expect the Convict to be civil, but I am more than capable of doing so for my own survival.”

Jack doesn’t respond. No angry retort or lunge at the operative comes. Instead, Jack waits a moment, then speaks softly, her voice betraying a bit of hurt that the other woman did not expect to be revealed.

“I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you why the fuck I decided to come and get my ribs fucking broken Cheerleader. I believed you.”

Miranda looks back at Jack quizzically. The anger does not leave her eyes, but confusion is edging out the emotion. “What?”

“In your quarters. When you said that you knew what it was like to be an experiment. When you said you wished you had blown Pragia to hell. I...fuck. I don’t know. I heard something in your voice, something I’ve only heard in mine. When you didn’t return to the Normandy, I went to, you know, just fucking talk to you about that shit. To tell you that I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t believe you. I was just pissed off. I have a bad habit of saying shit I don’t mean when I’m pissed okay?” 

Whatever Miranda could have possibly expected, this is not it. As Jack speaks, the operative’s expression softens, but her eyes stay slightly wide in surprise. Jack, however, looks away from Miranda’s locked gaze to focus on the floor, a part of her wishing the metal would cave in and swallow her up to keep this embarrassing admission from continuing. 

“I tracked you to the bar, and there was fucking blood everywhere. I didn’t know what happened, but I knew your big bubbly butt needed help. ASAP. The bar bitch told me T’Soni was involved and I knew Shepard would also blow a gasket without her blue tits somewhere in the galaxy.” Liara frowns at the vulgar comment, but doesn’t chastise Jack. The scientist is adapting a bit to Jack’s way of speaking, and learning which vulgar comments are actually attempts at kindness.

“I just came down here to make sure you both didn’t fucking die. I didn’t mean to lose my fucking head and get myself caged with you two. But honestly, can you fucking blame me Miranda?” Rage begins to seep back into the small biotic’s voice. “He had no fucking right to touch you. Or to say any of what he said. He’s probably lying about his fucking father, just trying to get under your skin because he’s butthurt you ended up a reaver…”

Miranda’s face goes stony, and she too looks at the floor, her voice trembling as she says the simple words, “He wasn’t lying Jack.”

The words somehow pierce Jack, a flood of emotions crossing her mind as she processes the information. The most prevalent is a need to find and murder Henry Lawson, but she knows it isn’t her place to be the one to kill him. As much as she may want to. Liara glances between the two women, her face betraying her clear discomfort being in between them during this very personal exchange.

“I….I’m going to evaluate this cage for structural weaknesses. I...doubt there is anything to be done until another guard returns and de-activates the field...perhaps you should take this time to rest your injuries Jack. And Miranda, maybe you should….help her with that?” Liara suggests awkwardly, her eyes darting between them in nervous fashion before she steps out from between them and goes to the front of the cage to examine the electric lock. 

Miranda and Jack don’t move for a moment, then Miranda finally motions towards the back of the cage, where the injured biotic could lean against the single metal wall that wasn’t made up of bars and an electric field. Jack takes her cue, and steps over to where the operative directed her to go, lowering herself with a grimace on her face to rest on the floor, her back solid against the metal. Miranda leans down next to her, a concerned expression crossing her face as she watches Jack’s contort into one of pain.

“It’s….a good thing you don’t wear much. Very easy to identify injury.”

“Is that a joke, Cheerleader?”

“Hardly.” Miranda cracks a small smile, relieved their banter had changed course from one that would have inevitably ended with one of them attempting to kill the other. 

“Is it alright if I touch you Jack?”

Jack nods, and Miranda places her hands on the biotic’s ribs, running her fingers along them to search for additional breaks. Where her hands touch, Jack suddenly feels warm, her body reacting to the other woman’s gentle touch. It sends a pulse of heat to Jack’s center, and the biotic forces herself to ignore it. This was the worst possible moment to be turned on by the Cheerleader’s touch.

“I...I didn’t mean to say I didn’t believe him...about your father. I believe you...fuck. I just...I think...I’m fucking this up aren’t I?”

Miranda looks up from her examination to give Jack a small, worn smile. 

“You’re doing fine, Convict.” This time, when Miranda says the word convict, there isn’t hate dripping from the syllables. Her tone is gentle, understanding. Jack takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous. She had no idea what to say. She certainly knew what Miranda was going through, but if the past few years of her life were evidence of anything, it was that she didn’t know how to deal with what she had been forced to do. She couldn’t possibly help Miranda overcome that if she hadn’t been able to in years of bed-hopping, drugs, and violence.

“That’s really fucked up you know.” 

“I’m aware Jack.”

Jack wants to kick herself, she sounds so incredibly lame, she can’t imagine Miranda is getting any sort of consolation out of what she has to say. And yet, she finds herself unable to give up trying to console her.

“I…..I’ve been forced to do a lot, a fucking lot of shit I didn’t want to do when I was someone’s fucked up experiment. I...guess I know how it feels. It’s not your fault though. That’s what that stupid Normandy shrink with the nice rack tried to tell me about my shit. I didn’t believe her at first….I don’t think it’s easy to believe when its your past. You know, your memories, your actions. But from the outside looking in, from someone who’s not a shrink with an even better rack, it’s not your fault.”

The little speech is crass, and Jack worries she probably only offended Miranda. Looking to her nervously for her reaction, Jack waits holding her breath for the other woman to say something. Miranda says nothing for a moment and then nods, her eyes welling up with tears. 

“Thank you Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the incredible beta Sayahiei <3


	22. Chapter 22

“Rise and shine , Commander. You’re about to be on video. Don’t want to disappoint your audience now do you? The Illusive Man is expecting our call any minute now.” Archer’s cruel taunts are salt in Shepard’s bloodied ears, her head pounding so intensely his voice is muffled by the sound of her own blood pumping and reverbating in her head. 

_ Liara… _

The soldier is barely conscious, but her first thought immediately belongs to the asari. 

_ I failed...oh God….where is she… _

_ I failed all of them… _

The soldier opens her eyes slowly, her eyelids as heavy as a door to a bulkhead yet she manages to open them anyway. The first sight the spectre is greeted with is Archer, clad in a standard Cerberus scientist smock he obviously hadn’t chosen to part with just yet. Beside him, an array of guards stand in a formation clearly meant to protect the biotic dampener between them. Each guard is armed to the teeth, clad with fully stocked utility belts of dangerous explosives, automatic weapons in their hands. One guard holds a rifle significantly stained at the butt of the weapon, and the soldier’s stomach turns as she realizes, it was painted with her blood. There are thin streaks of her blood along the floor, some of the perfect drops smeared as if they had dragged her body through the blood trail to where she sat now. 

Shepard doesn’t recognize the chair she is currently propped up in as having been there when they had first entered the room. The chair is leather, an unfortunate material that sticks to the bloodied spots of the soldier’s body. She had been stripped of her stolen armor, and was back in her military fatigues, torn in places from the heavy combat. Both her wrists were bound in metal cuffs protruding from the chair’s arms, a thin orange ring of light tracing the metal cuff shape. 

Across the room from the chair is a video pad, not unlike the one the Normandy had in its own comm room. The metal oval on the floor is unmistakable, lit by a thin blue light around the edges. Tracing the blue lights, the soldier deduces the pad is connected to a terminal on a wall on the right of the room, curiously, the only terminal in the entire makeshift chamber. 

“Where are the others…,” Shepard manages to croak out, her voice hoarse from the sheer agony her body was currently enduring.

_ Where is Jack... _

One of the last memories the soldier can recall in clarity was Archer’s execution order for the young biotic. An order that would have been all too easy for the asari he had commissioned with the dampener activated.  _ And I let him fucking use it. I’m sorry Jack, I’m so, so, sorry. _

Though the dampener did not spell a certain end for Miranda and Liara, the Spectre’s capture almost certainly did. It makes Shepard sick to her stomach. Archer had what he wanted. He didn’t need to waste men and resources holding them any longer. She knew that, however much she wanted to believe otherwise. And the pain bubbling in the soldier’s gut reinforces her instinct that it was all too unlikely they were alive. Shepard chokes back a sob that overtakes her throat at the thought.

_ I’m sorry, Miri. _

_ And I’m sorry, Liara. _

_ I’m so sorry, I didn’t even tell you goodbye. _

Archer takes his time reacting to the soldier’s question, clearly finding enjoyment in the emotional response the moment of silence had on the Spectre. He knows what she’s thinking, and he knows she knows what he’s about to tell her. So he drags out the moment, letting her feel the pain of knowing, but not fully knowing. And then, he stabs her with the truth.

He finally responds to the soldier’s query with a devious, knowing smile, and Shepard’s world stops, as if paused for a moment. She barely hears Archer when he boasts of how he had no longer had need of them, and had given their execution order some time ago. His voice is muffled, as if he is speaking in a vacuum a thousand miles away from the soldier.

_ Liara… _

_ Oh God Liara… _

Shepard is numb. Suddenly, the pain in her body doesn’t seem to hurt so damn much. Her chest however, feels as though it is caving in on itself, her ribs contracting as she gasps for air. 

_ I’m so sorry Liara... _

Shepard takes gasping breaths, choking on her own throat as if Liara had been the air in her lungs, and she could no longer breathe. Her head falls back, her eyes shutting tightly to prevent Archer the pleasure of watching tears spill from her. She feels as if she is outside the Normandy again, writhing in space and choking on her own empty lungs as they expand from the pressure. She feels as though she’s dying. For the second time.

“Someone sedate her, regulate her breathing,” Archer orders, a thin line of worry crossing his brow. Shepard was of far lesser value as a bargaining chip to them dead. The Illusive Man would always be capable of doing wonders with Shepard’s dead body, but the timetable and expense could be no longer a guarantee. The only certain fact was that if the Illusive Man’s precious investment died in his custody, he would be a dead man.

Shepard’s head is roughly lifted by a guard on Archer’s order, a thin respirator device the soldier recognized from field rescue kits forced into her mouth. Her mouth fills with oxygen, forcing her lungs to inflate with it, and yet the chest crushing pain does not leave. The feeling of suffocation, does not leave.

_ He made a grave mistake…. _

_ Believing the Illusive Man was a more formidable enemy to have than me... _

A scientist, the spectre does not recognize, rushes to the soldier’s side. She is clad in a similar jumpsuit to Archer, armed only with a meager side-arm pistol attached to her belt. It hangs off her belt, unsecured as a proper soldier would place it. She was clearly new to this. And, the skittish asari is new to the room, obviously here on Archer’s most recent command.

“Her synthetics can function differently based on her disposition sir. Look, these scars on her cheek? Cybernetic implant scarring due to the effects that negative emotions such as hate and anger have on the limbic system. It is possible this emotional distress is having an effect on her respiratory system...simulating a previous trauma in response. I don’t know enough about cybernetics like these to stop it… don’t you have the woman who created these in custody? Perhaps she will have an idea.” The asari states, looking to Archer earnestly. Her hands shake as they hold her omni-tool above the spectre, scanning her. She is clearly frightened her inability to help will cost her the rest of her life-span.

On a normal day, Shepard would feel something for her, but the soldier can form no emotion for her, only writhe in agony. Her entire body is starting to feel compressed, weighed down by the galaxy she lived within. The Collectors...the Reapers...the sheer pressure of her responsibility in dealing with those foes is suddenly unbearable, the future seeming impossible and uncertain already without their involvement. 

Archer shoots a guilty look at the asari, crossing his arms in an attempt to give off the impression he still warranted authority despite his many mistakes already.

“I...had her terminated. She was no longer needed once Shepard was in our custody.”

“Actually sir, I was ordered to inform you of a stay of execution. Ordered by Scientist Boson.”

And suddenly, Shepard can breathe again. Shepard takes a deep breath from her respirator, the world around her suddenly moving at full speed once again, as if the deafening pause had been lifted by those simple words.  _ Liara was alive! _

Archer crosses the room in a split-second, grabbing the guard by the shoulders.

“AND WHY THE BLOODY HELL WERE THEY NOT TERMINATED!”

“Sir, according to our orders, Scientist Boson has joint authority as a partner in your laboratories. He ordered me to inform you that in our custody is the daughter of Henry Lawson. He requested a formal meeting to discuss the implications of contacting Henry Lawson for protection and resources instead of Cerberus. His daughter would be valuable in negotiations, so we were ordered a stay in executions until the development was discussed.”

The soldier should be relieved, but the taste of a world without Liara has poisoned her with only hatred for her captors, and deadly need to prevent that Archer from succeeding in having her relive that again. The time for relief to wash over her body would be later, when adrenaline stopped gripping her heart with a need to protect her asari from near death. He. Would. Not. Touch. Liara! 

Shepard’s chest is no longer restricted, but her body feels heated, as if the pure rage was igniting a fire in her core where her heart had nearly stopped. The cybernetics on her cheek glow as the hate for Archer seems to travel across her body, fueling her every appendage. Lucky for the Spectre, the asari is not watching the soldier as the implants flare, her gaze locked on the two arguing men. 

“Why wouldn’t you kill the other one then?!” Archer practically screams, taking a menacing step towards the guard. Though Archer is unarmed and the soldier is very, very well armed, he still takes a step back, as if retreating from the scientist.

“We were ordered a stay on execution of both hostages sir. Boson did not specify the details.”

The soldier’s focus is razor sharp, as dangerous as she feels right now. Her eyes lock on the biotic dampener, taking in the strange device fully. Upon first glance, it looks to be nothing more than a demotion charge, made up of long metal tubes capped at each end with a disabling panel in the center of the device.  _ A weakness. _

The soldier doesn’t even think, she just acts, putting a plan into motion as if she were on autopilot. On cue, the soldier begins choking again, this time, dramatizing her own suffocation, thrashing against her restraints as if she needed to clasp her throat.

“Archer!” The asari cries, and the scientist’s attention directs to Shepard. The cybernetics on her body are fully inflamed, a symptom the scientist mistakes for the soldier succumbing further to the episodic suffocation. Turning to the two guards closest to him, Archer’s voice is panicked, his orders a gruff bark at the two men.

“What are you standing there for? Bring me Miranda Lawson! Now!” The two men immediately obey, rushing from the room, their boots clacking in time as they travel away from the mad scientist as fast as they can manage.  _ And then there were four. _

Four including Archer, the asari scientist, and only two well-armed guards left beside the dampener. Both guards are trailing from their position however, coming closer to Shepard the more she struggles in her bounds.

Archer, however, notices this as well, turning his attention to them.

“This is under control! Stay close to the dampener you worthless fools! Now thanks to Boson, we have four  _ alive _ captives that could be interested in taking a run at our precious toy.”   
  
As Archer directs his attention to the guards, the asari makes the mistake the well seasoned soldier knew she would eventually make. Bending over the Commander to check her pulse against her neck, her sidearm comes within range of the soldier’s bound right hand. With a sharp tug, the Commander relieves her of it, angling it in her limited dexterity to point to the center of the asari’s body. The asari immediately notices and opens her mouth as if she is about to scream, but between faked chokes, the Commander instructs her quietly, her voice a hushed whisper coming from between the respirator and the soldier’s teeth. 

“If you say something, you’re dead.” 

The asari nods, her wide eyes filling with tears that almost strike pity in the Commander’s heart. The soldier shoots a glance to Archer, and is relieved to see he is still berating the guards, coping with his obvious inexperience in stressful life and death situations by taking it out on the two inexperienced yet well armed men from his ill-fitted mercenary company. 

“I’m going to blow this place apart. If you release my cuffs and run, I will let you survive.” The asari nods, no doubt aware Shepard was gravely serious in every word she said. She takes a last worried glance towards Archer, then presses a button on the side of the chair, releasing Shepard’s cuffs.

The next twenty seconds are a blur. 

The moment Shepard’s hands are free she fires a bullet straight to Archer’s heart. The Commander is vaguely aware of the asari sprinting from the room as fast as her slender legs can carry her, but her focus is on the man who nearly robbed her of her world, as he chokes on the blood filling his lungs from the shell in his chest. Pivoting on her heel, the soldier fires a series of rounds into the closest mercenary, sending him to the ground before he can even register the prisoner is not only loose, but killing them. The second mercenary has a few more moments to register the danger, and unleashes a small barrage of shots at the Spectre. 

Shepard takes cover behind the chair that had previously restrained her freedom, peering over the leather surface at her last assailant. The shots contact against the surface of the chair in a rhythm the soldier was accustomed to, and she lays in wait for brief rest between beats. The moment it comes, the soldier explodes out of the quiet, firing round after round into his chest.

The soldier is moving before his body even hits the floor. Kneeling beside the dampener, she takes inventory of the mechanisms on the front of the device. The panel is complex, and protected by a series of access keys. _ I’ll make my own.  _ Shepard thinks ruefully, returning to the chair and plucking the metal respirator she had discarded in her escape from the floor.   
  
When she returns to the the panel, the soldier forces the side of the thick metal object into the center of the panel, cracking the display apart. The crack isn’t incredibly large, but it would be more than enough room to house an explosive. And the Commander had her pick of explosives on the belts of the mercenaries she had dispatched. 

Dropping beside the nearest mercenary, Shepard thumbs along his belt until she finds a small latch that releases it from his body. Helping herself to each of the grenades strapped along it, the soldier carries them across the room and sets one in the small crevice, the device waiting for activation.  
  
The soldier takes a deep breath. A sudden heaviness overtaking her body as she thinks of her biotic comrade that had most likely died because of the device she was about to destroy. Though Miranda and Liara were alive, by some stroke of luck or God, the soldier didn’t know if Jack had shared in their fortunate circumstance. 

_ And if she had stopped this device...she would still be alive... _

Before she loses herself in mourning for the biotic, the sound of boots echoes in the hallway. 

Guards were coming.  _ Lots _ of guards were coming. Shepard takes a step back from the device, activator in hand. There would be time to mourn the dead later. When they were  _ confirmed _ dead, and not a moment before. She glances nervously at the door. Fleeing to the hallway to take cover from the explosion wasn’t an option, without armor she would be gunned down instantly. 

A grotesque rasp catches the soldier’s attention and she follows the sound to Archer’s bleeding body. His eyes are wide, his tunic stained with blood pouring from his chest. Shepard gives him a cold, uncaring smile as she watches him struggle, the fear in his eyes evident. 

_ He knows he’s dying. _

She crosses the floor to him, then grabs his body by the arm, dragging his bloody form across the room as far from the device as she can take him. His blood stains the floor like a sick paintbrush, his only refusal a series of chokes that never could be translated to words that would tell off the spectre. 

She positions herself behind him when she reaches the furthest wall, propping his body up as a makeshift shield. 

“You shouldn’t have  _ fucked _ with Liara,” Shepard says dangerously to her dying audience, holding the man’s shaking, bloodied form in front of her. Her thumb grazes the activator in her hand, at the ready to press the button and blow the dampener and most likely the room apart when the time came. 

_ The boots are getting closer. _

Archer chokes a response Shepard doesn’t understand, the soldier only able to make out the word  _ ‘progress’ _ and it stabs her with anger. What he had tried to do was not progress, it was regression. A world in which scientists could sacrifice lives and mentalities for knowledge was a horrible one, one the soldier would never fight for. It was a loss of humanity, and Shepard was human. Flawed, proud, empathetic, in love, human.

“I’ll watch after David for you. He’s going to be okay. Not a science experiment, but a man. Something you never allowed him to be,” Shepard continues, her voice dripping with venom. She wants him to suffer, to suffer in his dying breaths for his attempt on Liara’s life. The scientist is so far gone he can’t react. But she knows, she  _ knows _ it’s killing him. 

_ Like the bullets in his chest. _

The footsteps are getting closer, and Shepard takes a deep breath, bracing for the impact that would come once she made the simple choice her thumb was itching to make.

“Goodbye, Archer. Today, you die with your research. And your life, it was for  _ fucking _ nothing.” 

Shepard usually feels something when a man dies at her hands, a small glimmer of guilt, a touch of mourning for a life lost. She feels nothing as she holds Archer in place for his doom. The man would have wasted Liara…without a second thought. The fact there are beings in the galaxy that would do such a thing, kill Shepard’s entire world in one careless action…. the idea breaks her heart. And the jagged pieces of the heart of a woman like Shepard were dangerous, sharp enough to kill.

The door flies open, men flooding the room. There are new guards, ones Shepard doesn’t recognize as having been in the room earlier, and the two that had left. She doesn’t spend much time looking at their faces, her thumb jamming the activator the moment they enter the room. She closes her eyes, prays her cover would be enough, and the explosion comes.  
  
Though the men are far more well armored than Shepard, they’re closer to the core of the inferno. The fire scorches them. It sends their bodies flying. And the impact is lessened by the time it reaches the spectre. She’s aware of the heat, of the immense pressure, but her human shield withstands what force comes for her. 

It’s  _ chaos _ , then silence.

Shepard rolls the charred body of Dr. Gavin Archer off of her, and stands surveying the charred room. Their bodies are still touched with flames yet to be extinguished, parts of their anatomy strewn across the room.  _ Goddamn...what a mess.  _ It’s disgusting, a sight that would reappear in her nightmares soon, but a relieved smile creeps onto her features nonetheless. Archer was dead. He couldn’t kill Liara.  _ Hold on Li....I’m coming….I’ve got you... _

As the soldier kneels beside the soldiers, stripping them of what armor pieces weren’t too badly damaged by the explosion, the room is suddenly filled with a sickening red light. An alarm starts moments after. The emergency protocol had been triggered, and the soldier realizes it too late, a sick feeling in her gut. 

_ It had been too early for celebration. She needed to find them. Now. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra thanks to my dope beta Sayahiei editing this in the midst of a crazy busy schedule <3 always the best


	23. Chapter 23

Jack is looking at the floor when it happens, studying the metal as if looking at it long enough would cause the metal to peel away, allowing them escape. Miranda and Liara are pacing the cell, each of the intellectual women trading theories about possible weaknesses in the electronic prison. Their hope is starting to annoy Jack. 

_ There is no way out of this thing…not from the inside…we would have found it by now... _

Suddenly, the metal floor begins to reflect a flashing red light, a red that coats the room, tinting each surface. The alarm follows, a loud blaring sound that causes Jack to grit her teeth, the vein in her head visible as she mentally thrashes against the sound. She hates alarms.  _ Alarms were for prisons, for experimental facilities she couldn’t escape... _

The alarm gives Miranda and Liara pause, both women exchanging glances of confusion, then subtle relief.

“Do you think...” Liara starts, her voice hopeful, her shoulders lifting from the depressed sag they had began to exhibit as time in the cell had worn them. 

Miranda responds with a smile, her eyes light for the first time since that  _ monster _ had spoken to her. “It must be Shepard. It has to be. God she really pissed them off…all of the emergency protocols in this damned place must be activated.” 

Jack suddenly lashes out, ignoring their hopeful banter and slamming her fists on the ground. The alarm is killing her… the sound is fucking deafening. A chorus of bad memories floods her small body with every tone sounding.  _ If it is Shepard…she needs to hurry her ass the hell up and get us out of here…  _

Miranda glances towards Jack, concern etched in her brow at the smaller woman’s outburst. Jack slams her fists again into the ground to relieve her frustration, only this time, her biotics flare of their own accord when her knuckles meet metal.

_ Shit I hope I didn’t scare Cheerleader with that flare up… my biotics flare when I’m fucking pissed… wait, did I just use my biotics? _

She raises her chin, meeting the awestruck gazes of the other two inhabitants of the cell. By the confused looks on their faces, they’re thinking along the same lines. 

“Did you…”

“Yep…”

“So we…”

Jack doesn’t respond. She stands up, feeling as powerful as she was accustomed to being. Miranda predicts the biotic’s behavior before it happens, and grabs Liara’s wrist, tugging the asari away from Jack to the opposite corner of the cell. 

In one swift movement, the convict ejects a warp into the side of the cell. It breaks the metal bars in the center of each beam like pencils. Jack crosses the cell, and grabs the metal pieces, intending to tear them apart and create an opening, but a shock travels through her body the moment her hands touch the bars.

“Aaagh! GOD. DAMMIT.” Jack yells, instinctually leaping back from the bars. Miranda rushes to her side, but Jack waves her off, glaring at the metal bars like she would at a person who wronged her. 

“Let me handle this, give me a fucking second,” Jack retorts, shaking her hands as if doing so would remove the sting. 

“Jack...we need to find a way to break the electric field.”

“I fucking know it, Cheerleader.”

Jack’s eyes trail to Liara, looking to the scientist for any possible cue as to what to do next in addressing the problematic field. However, Jack is not greeted with the typical know-it-all demeanor she had hoped for. The broker’s body is rigid, her brow creased with stress as her eyes dart about the cage. Liara had already evaluated the cage once before to no avail while the other two had been preoccupied discussing Jack’s injuries. Now, even with their biotics, the electric field was still clearly stumping the asari.

“Aaaagh!” Jack grunts in frustration, causing Liara to shift nervously. An apologetic look forms on the asari’s features, as if she blamed herself for not being able to immediately solve their conundrum. The convict begins to circle the cage in an animalistic manner once again, her face hardened as her narrow eyes review each possible square of their space for weakness. Miranda reaches out her hand to catch Jack’s wrist to halt her pacing, her face riddled with concern as her eyes trail to Jack’s broken ribs that are causing the convict to limp in her step. Jack stops for a moment, then shrugs out of the contact. The operative frowns, her arms crossing her chest.

“Jack. You irritating your ribs isn’t going to get us out of this hell any faster.”

“I don’t see either of you doing anything!” 

“We’re all thinking Jack. And you need to think while sitting still or you’re going to break another goddamn bone.”

Jack looks at Miranda with an expression of pure murder, but the operative does not react. Her frown does not leave her features, and she stares with an unwavering certainty into the convict’s eyes. An uncomfortable feeling stabs at Jack as she holds Miranda’s gaze, and the convict’s discomfort escalates as the she realizes that right now, that discomfort was  _ because _ Miranda was looking at her like that. Relenting, Jack sinks to the ground, sitting with her legs tucked beneath her. She does not look away from the operative as she lowers herself, her face contorted in a slight snarl that softens slightly when Miranda offers her a small smile as her body reaches the ground. 

In the corner of the cage, Liara watches the unusual exchange silently, her eyebrow quirking as somehow Miranda manages to tame the wild convict for the moment. 

“I don’t believe the source of the field is within this room.” Liara starts, her hand nervously smoothing the folds of her head. “If we’re going to get out of here, we may have to pray to the Goddess that Shepard somehow deactivates the field.”

Jack doesn’t miss the slight bitterness in Liara’s voice as she states their situation was hopeless without Shepard’s express help. Somehow, the convict sympathizes with the asari. She also hated relying on others for help, and she couldn’t imagine she would be ecstatic in the asari’s position calling on Shepard  _ again _ . 

_ There has to be something we can do… _

Jack’s lips curl into a wicked smile as she glances at the metal wall serving as the back of the cage. She had been able to lean against it earlier, which meant the field did not extend through it. Standing, Jack begins to charge her biotics, her eyes locking with her metal target.

“Jack...what are you doing?” Miranda starts, her voice uncertain. Her heels click against the metal floor as she crosses the cage quickly to Jack’s side. 

“That wall is most likely reinforced, Jack. A warp won’t do anything to it. Even with your power the most advanced warp averages a force of 700 Newtons. That wall is likely built to withstand over 900. You’ll just irritate your body putting it through that kind of energy dispellation and recharge.”

Jack nods slowly, uncaring. Her biotics continue to charge, the bright blue web of energy around her body becoming brighter with every second. Liara looks between the two, clearly also uncomprehending Jack’s plan. And then, suddenly, she understands what is about to happen.

“JACK!” Liara’s cry is shrill as she too leaps up, crossing the room and grabbing the convict’s arms to restrain them in an unusually bold motion for the reserved asari. Jack hisses, sharp pain reverberating through her rib cage as she is jostled about and then held still by the asari.

_ Blue bitch is stronger than she looks… _

The energy about Jack dissipates as Liara restrains her, and she thrashes in the asari’s grip, a string of curse words dripping from her mouth. Miranda begins to step forward on blind instinct to protect Jack, but manages to still herself as she takes in the grave look on Liara’s face. Liara would not cause Jack any harm without logical cause. The operative was very aware of that fact. Though she felt some... _ need _ to take care of Jack, she had to trust Liara. She wouldn’t have restrained the injured woman had she not been gearing up to make some sort of grave mistake. Taking a calm step forward, Miranda places her hands on Jack’s shoulders, causing the thin woman to pause in her thrashing. She continues to pant, her frustration evident in each irritated breath, but her fiery eyes turn to Miranda and soften. Miranda strokes Jack’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort her, but her eyes are filled with an almost desperate desire to be unrestrained. 

“There is one biotic ability that would be able to penetrate a reinforced wall...” Liara starts, her voice firm as she looks at Jack with an expression one would expect from a disappointed parent that had just caught their child about to jump off a building with no heed for their safety. “A biotic charge. Some of the most powerful biotics have been known to release a force between 1105-1205 Newtons….”

Before Liara can finish, Miranda is fuming. Taking her hands from Jack’s shoulders she throws them up in the air in frustration.  
  
“YOU WERE GOING TO CHARGE THE GODDAMN WALL JACK?! Are you serious? You’re not a vanguard! None of us are! Attempting something like that could kill any of us, and most certainly would break the rest of your goddamn ribs!”

Jack thrashes again and Liara reluctantly releases her. Continuing to hold her would likely just cause the biotic to irritate her ribs further, and the asari trusted that now that Miranda was aware of the situation, it would be very unlikely she would allow Jack to follow through on her wild plan.

“What the fuck else are we going to do, Cheerleader? Wait here until Shepard saves our asses or until we get fucking shot by the next wave of guards? I know how to charge. I was taught the ability. It’s not my go-to tactic like Commander ‘I always have a concussion’ Shepard, but I’m VERY capable Cheerleader.” 

Miranda throws her arms into the air in frustration, her eyes bright with a fire as she turns to the convict. “Frankly, I don’t give a damn if you know how to charge, Jack! You’re injured! That kind of force on your body at this moment could be catastrophic!” 

Jack’s eyes flick between the two women. Both have their eyes trained on her, their bodies slightly tensed as if ready to intercept her from charging at any given moment. She was stuck. With gritted teeth, Jack looks into Miranda’s eyes, fury practically radiating from her thin body.

“There is no way we can wait for Shepard.”

“You need to find another way then, Jack.” 

_____

 

“Liara! This is Shepard…. come in Liara! Please! Liara? Come in! This is Shepard! Liara?!”

The spectre’s voice cracks on the last word she cries out, her usually strong tone beginning to waver with each unanswered communication. The soldier’s throat strings, her voice hoarse from screaming into the omni-tool as she runs. Her freshly looted armored boots clink against the floor as she races down the hall, squeaking slightly each time she skids to a pause in front of each open door that doesn’t reveal those she desperately needs to see alive. The only response to each of her communications is static, an ominous reminder that each of her companion’s communication tools were still in the building currently bathed in red light from the dangerous protocol.  _ Goddammit. Maybe they’re not answering BECAUSE of this protocol. It probably triggered a some kind of communication jammer so we can’t call for extraction… _

Shepard curses herself silently. This wasn’t her first time in a situation alike to this. She should have expected a communication lockdown from the  _ moment _ the protocol was initiated. Resisting the urge to lash out and contact a wall to release her frustration, the soldier grinds her teeth in annoyance. She needed to be at her best right now. For Liara. 

_ And yet, because I could lose her, I’m not thinking straight.  _

Shepard pauses in her mad sprint down yet another hall, taking a moment to breathe.  _ Get a hold of yourself soldier! If you don’t calm down you’re worthless to them.  _ The soldier curls her hands into tight fists, then slowly releases them, an exercise she used to still her nerves in her early days as an N7 recruit, when her hands would still shake around her weapon. She only does the simple exercise three times, unwilling to waste any more time than that. Suddenly, it dawns on the spectre how strange it was she had not been attacked by any more mercenaries in at least two halls.  _ Why are they gone in such a hurry? _

Unable to provide herself with the answer, the soldier  switches her attention to her communicator, to something she knows she can control. The soldier jams down the call button into a locked state, a steady stream of static erupting from the little device. Taking a few steps down the hall experimentally, the static increases in volume. The change in level is barely detectable, nearly masked by the steady noise of the alarm, but the soldier’s focus is now sharper, her mind fueled by her new plan. She can hear it all right. She can hear every damn change. 

_ Now you’re thinking like an N7, Shepard. Follow the static. Omni-tools get noisy when they’re close to interference devices. _

Resolving to find the interfering device first, the soldier begins to trail down the next hall, her razor sharp focus locked as she listens for each barely detectable difference in the static noise. Each time the level rises, the soldier is bolstered by the knowledge she is getting closer. Closer to hearing Liara’s voice.

After several winding halls, the soldier finds herself before a locked door, her omni-tool practically distorting with a loud static overdriving the speakers of the tool.  _ This is it.  _

Dropping to one knee beside the door panel, the soldier sets to hard wiring her entrance. She is nearly done when it begins.

It starts with one. One horrific, gut-wrenching explosion rings out, shaking the very floor the soldier is kneeling upon. For a moment, she can’t breathe, a part of her begging whatever Divine power that was out there to have not let Liara be in that explosion. Another explosion shakes her from the rabbit hole of her own mind, almost thirty seconds after the first. Shepard frowns, a creeping hunch beginning to seep into her mind. Explosions were never that perfectly timed.  _ Never _ . True to the soldier’s instinct, another explosion shakes the ground another thirty seconds later, and the spectre’s heart leaps to her throat.

_ It’s a purge mech… _

Shepard had only seen one other purge mech in her career, in a remote facility on some unimportant Alliance Space moon that became a hiding spot for a faction of rogue scientists. When the small Alliance team had arrived to detain them, one of the scientists had refused to let their data be confiscated. Rather than surrender, he chose to trigger an emergency protocol that unleashed the violent mech.

Purge mechs were not made to discern. Only to destroy. Once a mech of the type was activated, it would systematically destroy everyone and everything in each room of the building. One arm of the mech was typically armed with explosives, ready to fire into each space the mech recognized as a habitable room. The other arm was a solid flamethrower, used by the mech to torch the parts of each space that the explosives didn’t incinerate.  _ That’s why their men left, to save themselves.  _

_ Oh god…. _

It’s involuntary, the way her body seizes at the horrible memory. Dread spreads through her body like a drop of blood in a glass of water, tainting every part of her with fear her nightmares of the past were about to reprise themselves. 

Shepard had heard the sound of the mech in her sleep, in vicious nightmares. She had heard the systematic firing of explosives every thirty seconds as the mech destroyed a room, then moved on to the next. Only three of her sixteen man squad had survived on that moon, the rest incinerated in their posts. And if she didn’t hurry, the next time a purge mech made it into her nightmares, Liara would be there too. Screaming at her like the men she hadn’t been able to save in that facility.

Her hands are shaking when she finally finishes her process in gaining entry to the door. To the soldier’s disgust, there is nothing she can seem to do to stop them from quivering in each movement. 

The spectre was not one for denial. She was  _ well _ aware of the physical and mental toll constant violence had taken on her body. Yet, she was accustomed to managing her symptoms of trauma to such an extent, few even realized she experienced such a disorder. Now, with her hands shaking as much as she felt her soul was, she knows she isn’t managing at all.

One of the most successful coping mechanisms for the soldier over the years had been mental escape. She couldn’t freeze like she was a recruit back on Akuze if she could mentally avoid being back in that horrible colony.  In the years before meeting a certain blue scientist on Therum, her mental safe place had changed about as often as her arsenal of weapons. Each place chosen for temporary relief had a happy memory attached. A small significance that worked well enough to remove the body paralyzing fear she sometimes felt when a memory surfaced on the battlefield. The places were trivial, but they were enough. Tactics such as imagining the screams of drunken, hilarious patrons in her favorite Citadel bar had aided her for years in keeping from hearing the screams of her lost squad when her mind conjured from the noises on the battlefield. It was a silly memory, but sometimes, all a broken soldier needed was a small piece of their humanity and joy to cling to while a battle threatened everything they were. 

The moment Liara entered her thoughts, becoming her safe escape, she didn’t just have a piece of her former joy to cling to, she could  _ feel _ true joy again. She felt it in any passing thought involving the asari. She was no longer treading water, but swimming again as if her confidence had never been shaken in the water. After that first meld, when she had been transported to a place where she was fully entrenched in the woman she loved, the soldier had never changed her safe escape again. That thought, that place, could give her the strength to withstand. 

She tries to picture it now to stop her hands from shaking. She tries to picture her hands not on metal, but on blue skin. Tracing a freckled expanse she craved in every passing moment.

She tries, but the her hands do not change, do not leave the cold hallway even in her mind.

That thing was coming to mar her blue canvas, her ocean of escape. And her hands don’t stop shaking.

The door opens with a hiss, and the soldier charges in on instinct, her body finally reacting how the soldier needed it to. The room is empty aside from a single console, and the spectre crosses the room to it instantly. Syncing her omni-tool to the console, the soldier is greeted with a console administrator page instantly...in a coding language she has never seen before. 

The soldier instinctually begins to type on her omni-tool as if she could contact EDI, then a deep frown spreads across her face as the realization that was not an option comes crashing back into her mind. The soldier flips from her communications display back to the unfamiliar page, her mind racing as she tries to discern any portion of it. Her armor clinking from the shakes that still affect her body is a distraction she wishes she could silence. 

Suddenly, the door slides open with a hiss the soldier barely catches through the shroud of the alarm sound. Spinning on her heels, she has her weapon prepared in moments. The barrel trained on the intruder, a bullet ready in the chamber, the soldier’s eyes narrow as she watches the last thing she wanted to see enter the room. The purge mech.

It’s larger than she remembers. The stature of an Atlas with no pilot inside. It entirely blocks the doorway, making escape near impossible. With two large metal crashes, its mechanized legs step further into the room, preparing itself to launch yet another purge. The Commander has a second, maybe less than that. 

With another moment to spend taking in the beast, maybe she would have reacted differently. Maybe her trauma would have paralyzed her, the fear taking its time spreading into her extremities. That fear does not have that time to overtake her. She has a split second to react, and her body follows only the compulsions of her training, not her disorder. 

Without thinking, Shepard leaps behind the console, her metal armor clinking against the floor as she rolls along her shoulders and her spine, stopping her rool behind the metal stand. She focuses any biotic energy she could muster in a moment to create a barrier, a barrier she hoped would at least save her life.  
  
The last thing Shepard heard before blackness overtook her was the sound of shells being fired.

____

 

The cell had gone deadly silent when the explosions began. Liara paces, trying to keep herself from breaking down each time another sound breaks their stillness. Miranda smiles at Liara weakly from her place beside Jack on the floor, her attempt at a comforting smile not quite reaching her eyes, but still, it was a welcomed attempt to reassure the other woman. Liara is grateful for the operative. She had fought for each of them today. Even Jack. Which took a compassion the asari could admire. Jack’s temperament made the asari question her role in Shepard’s squad several times, and that was just in one day of fighting alongside her. 

And yet there was Miranda, a woman able to tame the convict when her irrational mind threatened action that could endanger all of them, especially the convict herself. Without her hand currently resting on the biotic’s knee where they sat, Liara was absolutely certain Jack would be nearly killing herself trying to make it through the metal wall.  Jack is strangely serene at the moment, her body a bit less taut than usually. Liara is happy for them, happy they comforted each other. But, she can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. They were there for each other while the world was falling apart around them, and she had no idea if her world was even alive.

“It’s a purge mech.” 

Miranda’s voice cuts through Liara’s thoughts, and she looks at the operative with a quizzical stare.

“What did you say?”

“I said it’s a purge mech. Cerberus designed them based on a design from a rogue facility we scrubbed. Their purpose is to, well, purge everything…” Miranda trails off in her last sentence, obviously a bit regretful for Liara having to hear the violent reality of what was taking place around them. The operative’s nature was bluntness however, and she felt the broker should known.

Liara nods solemnly. Shepard had mentioned purge mechs before.    


_ Liara wakes with a start to her love thrashing in bed beside her. Reaching out, her mind still in the haze of sleep, she places her hand against the soldier’s back, rubbing light circles into the tensed muscles. The soldier’s back is hot, soaked with sweat as if she had been racing through a battlefield. The asari thinks nothing of it at first, after all, the soldier had been slick with sweat for a good portion of the night. They both had.  _

_ However, Liara’s eyes snap open when the soldier jerks away from her soft touch on her naked back, the spectre’s fists curling into the sheets. “Shepard?” Liara says softly, taking in the soldier. The soldier is shaking, her eyebrows furrowed as if behind them she is witness to some unmentionable horror.  _

_ The scientist sits upright then, swallowing the nervous lump that rises in her throat. The young asari knows exactly what this is even if she has not experienced it.  She had read articles about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder episodes when she and the commander began seeing each other. It was on their second dinner date that the soldier had finally decided to confide in her asari companion that the ‘great Commander Shepard,’ much like so many of her colleagues, suffered from PTSD. The asari had spent that night researching the condition, her knee jerk reaction to everything she didn’t fully understand. And yet, with all her research, seeing it now, seeing Shepard so scared, Liara is scared as well. _

_ “I’m sorry ….I tried to...” Liara sees Shepard’s lips move, is aware the words came from her, and yet, they don’t sound like the spectre at all. Her confident tone is gone, replaced with a frightened plea, a voice so timid it has to be the voice of another. Maybe another Shepard. A younger version of the staunch Commander. One Liara hadn’t met before. The sound cuts Liara’s heart but she realizes in that still, anxious moment, she loves all versions of her heroic soldier.  _

__ Gently, Liara shakes the soldier, trying to wake her from her horrible alternate reality. She doesn’t stir. Taking a deep breath, Liara places her hand in the center of the spectre’s chest, her eyes fade to a black sheen, and she melds their consciousness.  
_   
_ __ What she sees then is chaos, melting metal and men. And one broken soldier in the midst of it. Liara makes her way through it and takes Shepard into her arms. The soldier’s eyes widen with fright when she sees Liara, and Liara can sense the soldier trying to close in on herself, trying to shield her from seeing the horrors she sees every night. Liara doesn’t let her. She clings tighter to the soldier until all Shepard can do is sob, clinging to Liara’s hold for dear life. 

__ Suddenly, they’re in Shepard’s bed again. The black tint of Liara’s eyes fade and her vision restores to reveal the soldier in her arms. No longer blood soaked, no longer fully armored, fully naked and vulnerable, in her arms.  
_   
_ __ She’s still crying, sobs wracking her muscular body. Liara holds her, her long blue fingers stroking red bright red hair. Shepard says nothing for a while, just presses her body against Liara’s as her tears wet Liara’s bare shoulder. Liara blinks, an image of the horrible metal monster that had taken the lives of Shepard’s friends seared in her mind for the moment. 

_ “What was that thing?” She says softly, gently kissing the top of her soldier’s head. _

_ “A purge mech.” _

Liara snaps out of her memory to her two companions fighting once again. Jack is pacing the cell, fear evident across her face. Miranda is standing to the side, her arms crossed and hip cocked in annoyance as the two berate each other.

“Why the fuck would Cerberus even make something like that?!”   


“To protect research, Jack. We make a lot of weapons. You don’t seem to have a problem with killing.”

“It purges facilities, Miranda. It could be used to purge facilities with fucking test subjects!”

Miranda pauses, clearly regretful for not immediately understanding why Jack hated the mech the second she described it. 

“You’re right. It’s horrible.”

Another explosion rings out, the sound shaking the walls around them. 

“It’s getting closer...”

“I know that, Jack. I just know what it is I don’t know what to do about it!”

The three are suddenly knocked off their feet, each of them tumbling to the ground as the floor beneath shakes.

“It’s in the next room…” Liara breathes, leaping to her feet and frantically moving about the cell. 

_ There has to be a way to escape… we can’t die here… not like this… I won’t let Shepard find us like that.. _

Miranda does the same, moving about the cell in a hurry, her eyes brimming with tears from the genuine fear that was piercing her body. Jack stands slowly, her eyes trailing over Miranda’s frightened body, gaining resolve as she watches the other woman’s panicked state. Liara whirls around to meet her gaze for a moment, just before it happens. She doesn’t see what Jack is about to do. And then she does.

“Jack!” Liara screams, causing Miranda to whirl on her heel but it’s too late. With a blue flash, Jack charges through the metal wall at the back of their cell. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sayahiei is an incredible beta and makes this story better and inspires me to write even more <3 all the thanks to her and thank you all for sticking with this story! We're heading for the home stretch my friends!


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